Since nothing big is going on, I thought I’d give y’all a “behind the scenes” look at life here.
As much as I complain about being here, and I do despise it, I want to make sure y’all now that there ARE a few wonderful people who work here. Now, like anywhere else, most workers here are…generic 9-5ers – they do what they gotta do to get that check then go home. They’re ok, I get it.
A thankfully small percentage hate it here and make sure it shows. They’re rude, caustic, lazy, insolent, insulting, “wall holder-uppers”. You know the type… There are several here who just need to work elsewhere – or be flat out fired.
But thank God there are the precious few who have a willing, helpful heart. They are the backbone of institutions like this. Here I WILL name names – fuck the rules, they deserve a mention – Taylor, Angie, Donna, Destiny, and Ellen, thank you for making this hellhole liveable. I wish we could clone a thousand of each of you.
Another thing you might want to know about these kinds of places is that there is no privacy. None. At all. Everyone from housekeeping to administration can just walk right into your SHARED room as they perform the perfunctory knock. They never wait for the inmate to say ” come in”. Oh, no, they all just waltz right on in.
Inmate, erm, resident privacy, dignity, and respect are the afterthought that comes after the actual afterthoughts. We are the lowest of the low – everyone is more important than we are.
I don’t know about other places, but in here there is no division of inmates according to health status or care needs. Screamers, constant babblers, and occasionally violent dementias are housed right alongside, and sometimes in the same room with, the totally bed bound, the dying, and those needing little actual care. Yeah. It’s as bad as you think, and sometimes worse.
Well, I didn’t set out to write a novel so I’ll stop here. This is just what I do when I can’t sleep for worrying about all the house bills and money and when am I gonna get my legs and how my dog is doing now that she’s all alone in the house.
You don’t know how many times I’ve started writing things like this just to give my feelings a place to go. It doesn’t really help, per se, but it doesn’t hurt, either.
Anyway, here is the mandatory PayPal link. Your generosity and kindness are the ONLY income I have until I get back home and SSI kicks in.If I get to place a Wal-Mart order for gum, personal supplies,and deodorant,, it’s because of you fine folks!
Have a good one!
~Mer
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Things…have been a mess, lol. In general it’s been a GOOD mess, but also a paperwork mess and a “nurses visit and ask lots and lots and lots of questions but don’t actually DO anything” mess and a “lots of appointments here and there and having to deal with ‘transportation’ issues” mess and a “you have some home health help but not all the carers assigned to you will be dependable or even all that capable” mess (the one assigned to help me today is barely more ambulatory than I am…), but yeah, overall it’s good.
My wounds seem to be doing ok…they’re supposed to be monitored daily but I guess having Wound Care look at them once every other week is fine…
Most of the soreness from disuse then sudden overuse has resolved itself, finally – still crutchin’ real damn slow (I ain’t stupid, much) but that’s ok. Having to sit 99% of the time is wearing on the nerves, though. I would dearly love to get back into my writing but my brain is still stress-farting and trying to hide in itself. At best, y’all would get gibberish.
In other news, have y’all heard about how True Blood is being shown on a “regular prime-time” tv channel now? It is, but…I just can’t bring me to watch it. Beehl was bad enough the first time around – why would I want more of THAT??? Ew. Are y’all watchingit?
I just can’t. Plus it would probably make my doggie sick. (snicker)
As part of the “got sent home after being in the hospital a long time” thing, I finally got approved for a program called “Mom’s Meals” wherein you get mailed a huge box containing a cooler packed with around 14 portioned heat-and-eat meals that you keep in the fridge then microwave. It’s supposed to make eating a bit easier for the newly discharged. They’re…not good, honestly. Some are okish but it’s like they poured frozen vegetables into the veg side of the little tray and somehow expect them to be fully cooked after only heating them the recommended minute or two. The two “breakfasts” = a scrambled egg and half a cup of oatmeal sludge with some sort of weird syrup poured over it. The point behind me mentioning them is that if you hear of someone getting them, don’t expect them to be getting something great. It’s…easily fixed food to prevent starvation. Not truly horrible but deeply unsatisfying. But food.
(And they use whole wheat bread which I can’t stand.)
(And the 3 cute ikkle widdle juice boxes included are sized for kindergartners.)
Meh.
I do love that the home help I’m getting does the dishes, sweeps, brings in boxes, cuts up boxes to throw away (no actual recycling center around here convenient enough for anyone to take the boxes to for me, sadly), checks the mail – lots of stuff that I can’t do (cutting boxes down hurts my hands and it’s hard to do while sitting down anyway). It’s too bad that the company can’t find more reliable (and energetic?) help but hopefully things will even out soon. Either way, I’m still grateful as fuck for what help I *do* get.
(Plus if I fall and die, I know that at least someone will find Happy and Galen before they suffer. That’s a huge worry for me since I can’t afford the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thing.)
Speaking of finances…for all the help I’ve gotten so far, none of it is financial. I’m still in just as bad shape as I ever was. Still haven’t heard anything at all from SSI/D. Still have no help with last year’s huge property taxes I still owe. Still have no help with the necessary bills – phone/internet, power, water, etc. etc. etc. I THANK GOD do have “food stamps” – not rollin’ in the sweet, sweet gub’ment food money, but it truly is a tremendous help. In that one way I feel like I’m at least getting back some of the tax money I paid in over the duration of all my working years so I’m not at all ashamed to get it now. Hell, I paid it in!
(Never did understand people being mean about others receiving government help when they need it – the people receiving it very likely paid for it with the taxes taken out of their work checks so they’re just getting their money back. And I will beat with my crutch anyone who tries to mock like single moms trying to buy stuff to make a cake for their kid with “food stamp” money! If people are hungry, you feed them, dammit. Yeah, not a fan of bullies…)
Anyway, so that’s how things are thinging here. Happy and Galen are still lying at/on my feet – to physically prevent me from ever leaving them ever again? Happy is personally insulted at all the new people traipsing in/out of the house – it’s HER house, dammit, and she certainly didn’t give all these new people permission to be here! She barks…and barks…and barks… She’s old, though, and set in her ways and is not at all used to ANYONE other than me being in the house, so I can’t complain at her. Much.
Oh, and it’s apparently Spring, now. *glances out window, rolls eyes* Happy Spring??
~Mer
This is HappyDog and GalenCat in their usual position – at/on my fake foot, lol. Figured I’d rather use their pic for the ubiquitous PayPal link photo as they’re far cuter than my fake leg is!
Ok, y’all – believe it or not (and, yes, in the middle of the shitty chaos that pretends to be my life now), I actually HAVE been rereading Moon to get back into the groove of it.
No, I haven’t started writing yet – but I *have* been refamiliarizing myself with the story (and Sookie’s Amazing Preggo Cravings, lmao). I may also have been being (stilllove mah twisty verbs) a bit amazed – did *I* write THAT??? Rly?? Awesome!!
Wish I had a “play by play” of the story to keep The Bad (Dae) Guys straight, like, who and where they are and who did what (besides that damn’d evil triplet! – I know where SHE is MWAHAHAH!). But I get caught up reading and forget to take notes (plus brain fog sucks). Eh, if I make big booboos when I eventually DO post, I hope y’all will (kindly? gently?) lemme know?
Unfortunately my attention to it can’t be undivided now – too many other worries going on (mostly money, but also pain/health/life/existential bullshit), but I did want to let y’all know that I *am* trying – I’m pretty sore from life’s constant beat-down now and am not nearly as resilient as I used to be (or, more likely, as I thought I was), but I am trying.
I also wanted to thank you all for all your kind words – they really do mean the world to me. But — did you know that one of the “side effects” of brain fog is thinking that you’ve replied when all you’ve really done is lost the email in the sea of other emails where other things are also lost? Yeah. So please x infinity do NOT read anything into it if I haven’t or didn’t reply to your kind messages/comments. There’s a real damn good chance that I thought I had then got distracted by feeding the cat and then I needed a coffee and because of the coffee needed to crutch it to go pee and oh cookies! and then it was dinner time and where did all the time go and ugh the chicken is still frozen and no I don’t want pasta yet again but… (That may or may not have totally happened more than once…)
You guys ARE the best and I truly DO appreciate your kindness more than you could possibly know. I am YOUR biggest fan, for reals. You already know that life is hard, that it’s a rancid battlefield dotted with landmines and quicksand, that sometimes the unicorns are rabid and sprites and fairies can have some damn sharp teeth, and yet you send me such great encouragement and kindness and thoughts and advice anyway.
Thank you. Srsly.
Anyway, I’ll wrap whatever this is up – just wanted to keep you in the swirly, curly loop – and hope that y’all have a wonderful day! (I really am trying, guys.)
MAH DOGGY HAPPY CAUSE SHE’S SUCH A GOOD GIRL! She has become super-dooper protective of “mommy” after the amputation, bless her 10 (cough*15*cough) lb self!! (Got tired of photos of fake legs – hell, I see the damn thing every day as it is – and Happy is hella cuter!)
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I’m not sure if you guys know but I’ve talked with attorneys quite often about my situation – first around Oct/Nov of last year then another batch of uselessness in about April/May of this year, and most politely but bluntly” turned me down but one said for me to contact them again once this/that yadda.
So I recontacted them after yadda annnnd…and they *cough*lanier*cough* turned me down again.
Figures.
Anyway, on the day that I recontacted them, I also filled out Contact Forms (atty groups have Contact Forms on their websites where you list all the personal information you ever had along with a brief description of why you need to talk to an atty so they can decide whether or not to call ya back) for several new-to-me law offices.
Eventually I spoke with an extremely nice SSI/SSD (income and disability) lawyer in that “the first consultation is free” way and her opinion is that yes, I should definitely qualify for SSI and that after the application becomes active, we can “attach her name to it”. (Can’t attach her name to something until after it exists, lol)
FY, in the US it’s a federal law that, in situations like this, the attorney can’t collect a dime until after the client is approved and receives “back pay” if they’re owed any, so that’s good.
Y’all will be thrilled, I’m sure, to know that I have a telephone appointment to fill out the SSI application now scheduled…
…for DEC 28TH at 10:45am.
Read that again.
LawyerLady said that the way some of my information presents, a phone application would be my best bet (especially since I’m effectively housebound due to both mobility issues AND a no functioning car).
But…yeah, DEC 28TH at 10:45am.
Now, read this: LawyerLady told me it wasn’t unusual for people needing SSI to wait YEARS for their application to MAYBE be approved and that yes, most applications are denied the first time around over the slightest teeny tiny little thing.
Years.
Search “how long does it take to be approved for SSI in America”; you’ll see.
I asked her how I’m supposed to pay for power, water, phone/internet/cable, credit card, taxes, insurances, and all the dozen other “death by nibbles” bills that come with real life.
She had no answer.
Neither do I.
I can’t keep living off the kindness of strangers, much less the kindness of friends who have been so incredibly wonderful to me during this fucked up situation.
Let’s face it, in “modern day” American, I can’t afford to live.
I feel like all these situations are pushing pushing pushing me to an unfortunate but final solution, and sooner than later at that.
To be painfully blunt, I’m only still around now because of my pets and you guys.
And honestly, even if I *am* approved for SSI, it’s barely more than $800/month. Total. That would pay my credit card bill and the water bill.
Yep.
That’s it.
That’s what my government thinks I’m worth.
Slightly more than $800/month.
I could force it to work uncomfortably at, say, $1100/month if I had the medical and medications and home health care, etc., that SHOULD come as part of government aid, but…yeah.
Right now I am so disgusted and heart-sick and frustrated and depressed and anxious that I don’t even know why I bother anymore.
See, from when I was in the hospital a month last year onward, lots of people kept telling me to apply, that with my 2 amputations (same limb but yeah, technically I’ve had 2 amputations) I would “definitely” qualify, that “social security” would OF COURSE swoop in to save the day, and would hint that it would just take a month or two – of course the government wouldn’t make people in dire need wait months and months and years and years for desperately needed help.
And, more fool me, I believed them. Granted brain fog and general cluelessness (I’d never had to even think about stuff like that before) are to blame for some of my stupid gullibility, but of course I would believe the people who “knew more than I did” about that kind of thing. Why wouldn’t I??
Yes, the American government is, in fact, fine with making people in desperate need wait, suffer, and hopefully die first. Ok, surely not, but right now I’m a bit… bitter.
I definitely feel like I’m being pushed into dark realms of “why the fuck do I bother”.
Constant pain, constant worry, constantly unmet medical needs, constant lack of transportation, constant need for money, and a whole book’s worth of other problems I haven’t wanted to burden you guys with are NOT conducive to wanting to prolong life.
Right now, I just don’t see the point especially when I don’t see any sunshine on the horizon. I mean, I don’t even have an appointment to FILL OUT THE APPLICATION until late December! I really want to fade from this sometimes-beautiful but mostly horrible world and be done with it all. Can you blame me?
Maybe my next life won’t be such a painful failure?
Oh, but hey, I do have food stamps…but they don’t pay for pet food or toilet paper or paper towels or dish washing liquid or food containers or toothpaste or vitamins or shampoo or… I guess we poors are supposed to fix our food in filth??
Gaagh.
Nevertheless, I persist. I’m just damn well fucking sick of all the kicks to the gut, though. I try so hard…
Too bad crying doesn’t pa the bills or fix any of my other hundreds of problems. Somebunny win me that big lottery???
Thank you for listening to my travelogue on my life’s foul, shitty-these-days journey. Truly. I absolutely recognize that some of you have truly terrible problems in your own lives and yet you’re extending your kindness and friendship to me anyway – there are gloriously and fantastically special places in The Great Beyond for you angels. Depending on what I know of your beliefs, I do pray for/send the Very Best vibes/good juju to you.
You rock my world and I wish I could rock yours right back.
Ok, we all know that I suck at human’ing these days, right? If I can get it wrong, fuck it up, hit it sideways, I for damn sure will. Between COVID, the ensuing Long COVID, the unexpected death of my Dad, the emergency amputation (my second, go me?), fog brain (see Long COVID) which fucks my life up at every opportunity, and the FLM’s, well, flightiness, amongst other issues, things are not going well for me.
For the past 2.5+ years.
To that end, I had recently bitten several (BIG ASS’D) bullets, swigged down several bottles of (totally imaginary) 100-proof rot-gut, girded my mythical loins, and applied – again – for social services assistance.
I was denied the first time around “back when” which made me feel like unwanted one-legged trash. You have no idea how very, very much I despise doing that kind of paperwork especially after last time, how much I despise talking on the phone…it’s all one humongous gooey slimy ball of hide-under-the-bed anxiety for me.
But I got started anyway.
Even though the last time I tried I was denied. (That really hurt, y’all.)
Which increased “this time’s” anxiety x infinity.
So, good news: I am eligible for some food assistance – yay, food is good.
So, bad news: I am NOT eligible for “disability”, which sucks abject ass because that part took SO LONG to jump through the hoops that NOW the power bill, water, phone/internet/cable, credit card, and several others are due and I HAVE NO MONEY TO PAY THEM.
If things had gone the way they’re supposed to, shit would be settled by now and while I would NOT have been “swimmin’ in tha dough”, I could have at least paid the bare-necessity bills and things would have been, well, good-enough.
But nooooooooooo….
If I’d KNOWN I would be denied, I would have spent THAT time applying for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) instead – it’s a different thing from “disability” and bases its decision on a different sort of criteria. I’ve heard from several trustworthy people who know about it that it’s hellishly hard to get, that the hoops they make you jump through are more along the lines of “harassment” than anything, and that I desperately need an “advocate” to help me do it.
So of course I tried for “disability” first. Common sense, right?
*pfft*
SSI takes lots of “running around” to get since it’s based on a person’s inability to work. Running around?? Ha! I don’t HAVE transportation. I do have a car…that doesn’t run…that I can’t physically GET to simply because I can’t WALK that far. I don’t have literally ANY friends who live anywhere near my area anymore. I could maybe hire the lady who (isn’t very dependable) comes by one day a week “3 weeks out of 5” to put my trash into the outside trash can for city pick-up but…that takes moolah. *sigh* Eh, the extended list of tragic little problems that nibble away at my soul is way too long to bore you guys with here.
So, while I *can* eat (a little), within a few days I won’t be able to cook, or see, or be online, flush my toilet, talk on the phone… Why am I even still alive at this point??
I just do not know what to do. Part of it is the brain fog (it really can be a very serious problem), and a whole freakin’ lot of it is INCREDIBLE amounts of anxiety (how could I not me????), and part of it is EXTREME frustration and IRATE-NESS at a whole butt-load of shit BUT ESPECIALLY having wasted very precious time applying for the one assistance that I – unknowingly, but hindsight = 20/20 – would be denied when I could have at least been in the process of applying for the one I’m slightly more likely to be granted…eventually…after jumping through every hoop invented by heartless bureaucrats. Maybe.
Got any handy-dandy thoughts, prayers, good juju, vibes, rich great-uncles hanging around? Send’em my way, please. Feel free to kick my ass, too – I am so, so, SO frustrated at myself for (agreed, unknowingly, but this shit really sucks) wasting so much time on the one application process only to be denied when I could have been spending that time…UGH!!!!! If I had been approved, I could have at least, if nothing else, called up the necessary-for-life companies and TOLD them that “money is expected to be deposited on X date” and worked something out with them.
But noooo…. I’m not allowed to have luck THAT good.
Well, let’s wrap up the pathetic whine’ry. Thank you for coming to my TED Whine??? I’m gonna go cry some more. I feel like such a disappointment, such a loser. I try so, so hard and then shit like this just keeps happening.
But I couldn’t figure out how to do one with the wonky layout WP has now.
So, write in the comments (*sigh* if the comment section is actually showing right then – if not, the just refresh until it magically appears…) WHAT STORY YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO WORK ON FIRST.
Yeah, you heard me.
I can PROMISE nothing, nothing at all, but I am definitely interested in finding out which of my WIPs y’all would most like my muse to visit if that FLB will agree to do so.
She hasn’t been around in quite some time what with death and amputations and brain fog and pandemics and personal losses and the fact that, yeah, she’s a flighty little bitch and I don’t blame her a bit... But I need something pleasant to concentrate on. No idea if it will do any good, but hell, nothing else is working.
Whu-whaa??
See, despite my best efforts and prayers and pleas to the universe, my life is going even further down into that damnable shitter – “money” has plummeted to the point that I’m not sure which bill I can pay this month and that gut-twisting panic is taking “mood” and “health” right along with it.
Talk about a hay ride from hell. DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.
Now that I know all too well how cold and cruel the world really is, I desperately need to force my attention elsewhere, especially while I still have power, to try to keep from focusing solely on what a pathetic waste my life is. Keep in mind that whichever fic “wins”, lol, will have to be reread with a fine-toothed comb (why did I make some of my plots so twisty??), so please don’t expect anything soon. Or at all…I know I’m worthless. (FREE ADVICE: DON’T HAVE BAD HEALTH AND BRAIN FOG IN AMERICA.)
And on a totally different and completely unrelated note,anybody got any Cliff’s Notes on my stories?? Inability to focus and concentrate have severely impacted my ability to even remember my plot weavings, much less keep them straight, and THAT RIGHT THERE is the main reason my writing has suffered.
So, if you still have a favorite WIP fic after All This Time (and OMG thank you if you do!!!), please let me know in the sometimes-appearing comments section which one it is, and if there are more than one, please list them in order.
And know that you guys are the best readers a writer could ever have. Yes, I admit it, I still go back and read y’all’s comments and reviews when my soul needs a little nudge. I also know that I’ve lost a lot of readers/followers over time because I’m no longer a productive member of the fanfom, and that’s totally understandable, but to those of you who have stuck by me, who have reached out and become genuine friends with me despite my failures and giganto boxes of whine, you badasses are the fucking BEST. You deserve literal gold for putting up with me and I heartfully appreciate every single one of you.
Ok, I’ll hush up now and wish y’all the best day. Hugs and obligatory PayPal link below as well as a hopefully-appearing comment box…if it decides to show…
Well happy July 1st, one and all. This year seems to be slam-bang screaming by – can’t believe it’s July already. I think the year has left skid-marks on my head.
It has not been a good year for mebut I hope you guys have found enough decent, solid meaning during this passing of time to make the rotations around our little yellow sun-ball worth the experience.
I hope you’ve found music that makes you cry and grin and dance and make war on the vile, that you’ve found rhythms that make the bad demons flee and the good ones cackle.
I hope you’ve found recipes old and new, fun and healthy and luscious, for foods you can afford that bring warmth to your belly and comfort to your soul.
I hope you’ve found books that lure you into their dark and glorious depths that leave you exhilarated and exhausted and are tossed immediately into your reread pile.
I hope you have people in your life who both steady and rock your foundations, that lift you up to the stars while reminding you to get your oil changed – people who snag your last piece of gum but you know you can call them at 4am to discuss the vagaries of life and they won’t mind a bit.
It’s more/less the “middle of the year” so it’s a great time to see and honor what you’ve got, what you need, what you want to shed, and what you have to do to run free.
I hope your plants are well, that your vehicles aren’t being pains in the collective ass, that your plumbing is flowing as it should and that your pillows are perfectly fluffy.
If not:Think; hope; plan; do.
You’ve got ’til December 31st to pull 2022 up by its fucking bootstraps/lapel/short’n’curlies if you need to.
It may not be “my” year or “your” year or “her” year or “his” year but maybe, just maybe, it can still become OUR year. Maybe.
Remember, cussin’ is still free…(just ignore the overflowing NoNo Jar on the counter).
•~•0•~•
Annnnd now for my grumph at YouTube cooks… My food budget is pathetic so I have to make do with what I can. My mama, and to an extent my dad, raised me to be a pretty damn good cook, to experiment in the kitchen but while using common sense – the results may not taste that great if I’m trying something different but it’d still be very edible – and to always keep learning.
Herbs and spices and whatever the hell garlic – onions – shallots – etc are…are our friends, just as Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce and anchovies and anchovy paste are fantastic ingredients we can use to deepen the savories.They are all weapons in our cooking arsenal.
I have cook books aplenty…antique magazine recipes here and there…recipe cards that you can barely read they’ve been used so often…recipes I’m made so often that I remember every amount and step…and about 3 billion saved and bookmarked recipes and sites…
And then, there’s…YouTube.
YouTube cooks.
Yeah.
Some are absolutely amazing, funny, have great (or at least pretty good – although there have been some where I’ve questioned their sanity) recipes and techniques they share along with funny stories and bad puns – I love “Chef John” with his “Food Wishes” channel, for example.
And then there’s the crop of “Depression Era food cookin’ grannies (and a few gran’pas)” – srsly, there are several really old and not-as-old ladies on YT who either lived through the Depression themselves (they got into YT earlier on and some have sense passed on) or their parents lived through it and they remember how their parents cooked and did things. Some have great stories, most have good-to-great recipes, but all of them have balls.
Then there’s the rest of the YT cooks. The following applies to…them. I give “the grannies” and obviously the newbie YT cooks a huge pass – hey, they’re trying, and quite often doing an amazing job of it – but the ones who try to come off as “experienced” or “semi-professional” or act like they’re “all that and a bag of So Niche You Can’t Find Them chips”? Yeah, no.
And, so, here…my grumph:
9 Rules for YouTube Cooks:
WE KNOW HOW TO CHOP. You know how to chop. We know that you know how to chop. We do not need to see you chop, mince, slice, julienne, etc. the entire item or, especially, group of items. If we see you chop half a carrot or one potato to show us the size needed for the recipe, we do not need to see you chop the entire group of carrots or potatoes. We get it. You know how to use a knife and, yes, your hands are pretty. We don’t care. The same goes for peeling. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
WE KNOW HOW TO FLIP FOOD IN A PAN. We do not need to see you flip every…single…item. The same goes for stirring. We know how to stir. We know you know how to stir. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
WE DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOU ROLL OR SHAPE EVERY… SINGLE… BIT… OF… THE… FOOD. When you roll dough, flavored minced meat, vegetation, whatever, into a ball or other shape, the first two are enough. We get it. Please stop fondling the food. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ACTUALLY SCRAPE OUT YOUR BOWLS. Leaving a third of the food in the bowl is wasteful. And stop trying to pour ‘away’ from yourself – it looks awkward as hell and you never do transfer all the contents from the one container to the other. Also, after you’ve gone through all the trouble of daintily and gracefully chopping ingredients, don’t then leave half said ingredient on the chopping board. That is also wasteful. Reach over for the rest of it – I promise, we won’t mind.
DO NOT FLOOD THE PLATED FOOD WITH A TSUNAMI OF PARSLEY, CHIVES, OR OTHER UNNECESSARY GREENERY. Honestly, an overloading of greenery just looks unappetizing. If you absolutely must decorate your food, a very light sprinkling of greenery is more than enough.
STOP CRACKING EGGS ON THE SIDE OF THE BOWL! THIS CAN INTRODUCE MINUTE BITS OF EGG SHELL INTO THE DISH. Crack the egg on the flat surface right next to the bowl. I cringe thinking about all the minute bits of egg shell being a crunch factor in your food. Also, the breaking of eggs into a bowl is not interesting. We do not need to see you even cracking the first egg much less the third. Get on with it.
DON’T MEASURE OUT THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN ONE CONTAINER THEN TURN RIGHT AROUND AND DUMP IT INTO ANOTHER CONTAINER FOR THE MIXING. Like cream cheese – you know you’re going to be adding ingredients to the cream cheese so just plop the cream cheese block into its final mixing bowl to begin with – unless you LIKE washing unnecessary dishes…
WHEN USING PEELED ORANGES, REMOVE ALL THE PITH. The pith is the slightly bitter, tasteless, and weird textured white layer between the peel and the fruit. Leaving bits of pith hanging around just looks like you’re sad and don’t care.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO USE CHEAP INGREDIENTS. Cabbages, potatoes, beans, peas, rice, noodles/pastas, sardines, tuna, canned/frozen vegetation – all these things are delicious in their own right especially when prepared in new or unusual ways.
CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS but here we go: • Cherry/other teeny tiny tomatoes are all skin and seeds and little flesh. Stop using them. They’re annoying and look weird even when roasted. • Peel your freakin’ cucumbers. Cucumber peel is nasty, tough, and vaguely bitter. • Cilantro does not belong in EVERYTHING. Some of us are genetically predisposed to detest that vile, nasty devil-weed. And no, parsley is NOT a good substitute. • READ THE ROOM: Steak, beef in general, yes – even hamburger, and other meats are simply too EXPENSIVE for many of us to afford now. Recipes featuring these items are not appreciated. Again, READ THE ROOM. • If ingredients (especially so-called “ethnic” ingredients) are expensive or harder to find in some areas, feel free to mention substitution possibilities. • Goofing up is NOT a sin. I repeat: goofing up is not a sin. If something goes wrong, show us how to fix it. That might be information WE need. • If your recipe is something brought to you from your grandmother or great-uncle or it has a cute story attached to it, tell us! We like when you chatter while you’re cooking. • If you have a pet wandering around, SHOW US! We love pets! (But also show us washing your hands if you pet them, lol.)
Finally, let us see if you’re having FUN cooking whatever your amazing dish is. We want to see you enjoying yourself!
Agree? Disagree? Have anything you’d like to add??
Ok, so, that’s all for today. Hugs to you and your pets!(My old-lady cat Gypsy is today’s Managing Editor, btw…)
~Mer
And as always, here’s the updated link to PayPal for the fake leg + medical bills fundraiser!
Greetings, salutations, and coffee, y’all! Thought I’d check in and see how everything’s going.
Here (in the US) we’ve just waded through Mother’s Day. Yay. For all of y’all whose moms have passed on, I totally get it – mine escaped Earth’s gravitational pull back in 2011. I miss her; I envy her, annnnd I miss her. We did NOT have the best relationship, at least, not all the time – we were two entirely different people ( for one thing I’m Taurus and she was Sagittarius) and that’s not always a good thing – but I did love her dearly and she loved me back dearly.
We had jokes, lol, and what I would describe as “verbal memes” (way before memes were a thing), though, and she was wicked smart in the strangest ways. But she’s gone, been gone now for years, yet it’s still like it was yesterday that we were joking about the 4:10 to Yuma.
So I totally get it when people don’t want to “celebrate” Mother’s Day for some reason. Maybe your mom wasn’t anything near what could be described as a GOOD mom. Maybe she just plain didn’t exist. Innumerable family dynamics, and non-family situations, exist and it would be far beyond my grasp to even try to include them all. Just know that you are seen and loved.
And the moms who never had a chance to BE a mom whether because their body didn’t cooperate or the blending of that particular set of genetics just wasn’t viable, or maybe Strange Things Happened and it for whatever reason didn’t…happen. And the wanna-be moms who’ve just never met the person they’d like to be “the dad” – that’s me, still haven’t found someone whose genetics I’d like to immortalize.
I also feel very badly for the moms who have lost their children – including those moms whose children didn’t make it safely into the world in the first place. You’re still a mom – even if the miscarriage (and what a lackadaisical word for devastation!) happened at X-number of weeks…YOU ARE STILL A MOM and I grieve for your loss.
And about Cat moms and Dog moms and, hell, Ferret and Birdie and Snake and Guinea Pig and and and moms – yeah, I totally get that, too. I know exactly how strong that love is between a dog and her/his girl and a cat and her/his girl. Our pets ARE family. So they totally count, too.
So there’s that…another (sometimes it feels really forced) “holiday” in the midst of 2020-2022 crisis. Because we need MORE potential drama, right? Ugh. I really envy you guys who still have both parents and you get along well enough to chat with them often. You’re lucky. **imaginary hair flip in your direction**
I don’t like “forced” holidays. I get it – mothers and fathers (the good ones) should be honored and “giving them their day” is a way to do that, but it shouldn’t have to be made into “a day” for it to happen. But it is a way to remind the forgetful that it needs to happen, so there’s that I guess.
Anyway, update time on me, I guess – you can skip if you want…I’m NOT that interesting. What I am, though, is…still broke, still hurting, still on crutches, still aggravated by an insane number of inconveniences and frustrations and UGHs. So, nothing’s changed. I still to this day need about $3,000 to finish paying for the crappy-fitting leg (yup, even the cheapie ones aer SO expensive that I still owe THAT much and they are wanting their money), and that’s not including all the money I still owe on all the other stuff.
May I respectfully suggest NOT being un-wealthy in America? It’s not a nice country to be broke in. Pretty scenery in places, though, for whatever that’s worth.
And – y’all can join in the bitching now if you want – as in all countries I suspect, food prices are SOARING, even dog and cat food prices are at extortionate levels now. Even the price of used-to-be-cheap CHICKEN is astronomical. I have 2 cats and a doggie – they are NOT vegetarian…they’re animals who eat meat…ugh. It’s like the capitalism system actively wants them (and me) to starve.
I could see businesses/corporations/WTFE raising prices SOME to meet the higher prices of shipping/transportation, gas, costs of ingredients, etc., but not to this point. But that’s just me. I want everyone to survive as best they can so they can thrive later. Silly me.
So, how’s it going with YOU? Are you guys making it ok? Do we need to create a commune type situation where we can all live together (but separately…I snore and my dog doesn’t really like other people…) and share meals and household tasks and tell stories around campfires at night with marshmallows and gaze at the stars and have coffee and cake and bacon and pancakes and eggs together in the mornings?
Sounds like a plan to me!
Or I could just be hungry.
Love and hugs and only light swats with the crutch from me,
~Mer
PS: the up-to-date Paypal fundraiser link reclines below – feel free to click if you want!
I’ve had to update (ok, “redo” since it expired) the fundraiser for my prosthetic leg and the mountain of medical bills incurred when the hospital decided I didn’t need Leftie anymore, so instead of frantically updating my past posts with the new link, I’ve gone full-on lazy-brazen and decided to just post it in a new, you know, post.
THE VET BOARDING BILLS! YES, I have finally – miraculously! thankfully! – paid those off!! If I could dance I’d totally be dancing right now!! AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!! Srsly, thanks to donations and what tiny-little I had saved up, I have finally paid off the truly ludicrous, lube-free vet-boarding fees. (Talk about highway robbery, y’all, srsly. Three pets being boarded over two and a half months made that office literally THOUSANDS…and one cat came back with MORE MATS. Fuckers.) It was a necessity at the time, though, since I had no one to care for them.
But I still have a long, looong way to go. Anesthesiologists, some doctor who looked at something once, another doctor who looked at an x-ray or something, a different doctor who, Idk, did…something, apparently…and another doctor who…oh, and the extreme cost of a fake leg. Your jaws would drop if you saw how much greedy companies want for a metal and plastic leg. And I got the cheapest option, too – it’s not like I’m a ballerina or triathlete. I just wanna be able to walk my dog, wash the dishes, sweep, maybe even get OUT of the house and buy some groceries. *sigh*
I don’t even have a ramp TO get out of my house. There are ramps on Amazon that WOULD work but GOOD GRIEF they want blood money for them.
So, yeah, the fight goes on. And on. Annnnnd on…
Hang on whilst I sigh despondently. I’m getting far too good at doing that.
Oh, and my toilet has decided that NOW is a GREAT time to become clogged. Clogged. Because why not? I’ve tried plunging (try THAT with a fake leg…) and I’ve tried an enzyme “pro-environment” declogger. Nothing works. Know any free plumbers, anyone? Cause I sure don’t but I guess I get to start calling around tomorrow. Who needs groceries and electricity anyway, right?
If I could get down on the floor I would be hiding under my bed. But I can’t so I’ll sit here and whine at you guys.
Send Toilet-Unclogs-Itself vibes??
Y’all are a great bunch – thank you so much for listening. I try not to whine too much but sometimes life enjoys smacking me around just a LEEEETLE too much.
~Mer
(Also, srsly, thank you so much for your time and patience – you guys truly are the best readers a writer could ever have! I love y’all so much!)
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This…post? collection of words?…whatever…has two functions.
First and foremost, I want to wish every single one of you magnificent creatures truly fantastic Christmas/Yule/Holiday tidings. I hope you feel the warmth, comfort, and festive spirit of this time of year. I wish you warm, cozy toesies and eggnog burps, spiced wine and the comfort of a firelit hearth, cold wet puppy noses and little kitten purrs, and most of all the joy – the “hug” – of the season.
Second, if you are just not feelin’ the joy, dude, I got’cha. That’s where I am, fam. It just ain’t happening this year either. I am just too <everything icky and negative> for the “warmth of the season” to have a chance to take hold. So, I get it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and there is nothing WHATSOEVER wrong with just plain not feelin’ it. Grump is the word, y’all. Maybe next year?
But that’s no excuse to ignore the eggnog and fruitcake and cookies, tho’…right??
All that being said, I wish you great tidings and eggnog, warm hearths, mulled cider and wine, gingerbread and sugar cookies, huge platters of favorite foods, warm buttery puffy pastries and jelly tarts, cozy blankets and lovely flickering candles. I want the best for y’all.
You deserve it.
You are absolutely the best readers any writer could ever want and I appreciate every single glorious one of you. You mean the world to me.
I’m vaguely mentally planning another post/whine session/group hug before the new year but jic not, HAPPY (effin’) NEW YEAR to you!!
(Srsly, fuck this year.)
Love and appreciation and all that warm and fuzzy stuff,
~Mer
*Had to redo the fundraiser thing b/c apparently they expire after so many days? I don’t understand modern life. Anyway, here:
First of all, y’all made me cry. I would say “shame on you” but these tears were weird…they were from happiness and gratitude and…and good things. I wasn’t quite sure what to do about them but between your amazingly kind words and generous donations, said weird tears were definitely warranted.
So, thank you. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for clicking on the PayPal link.
But most of all, thank you for caring. Thank you for reading my words and giving a damn about how it’s been going with me. The fact that you care enough to to help with words and donations warms my heart. Our specific community may have dwindled down some, but the hard-core warm souls are still right damn loud and proud. Heh, I knew y’all were the best readers a writer could ever have!
In case anyone missed my last post, this is what I’m talking about:
NOT DEAD BUT NOT BY MUCH… (LOST A LEG AND FOUND MYPASSWORD)
Ok, so y’all know 2020 sucked major ass for a lot of us; well…2021 has sucked major ass, too, for a lot of us (meaning, well, me at least).
Grab a bevvy and a kitty/puppy/iguana, kick back, and peruse the story of how I lost a leg and found my password.
So…2021 busted 2020 wide open and it’s gonna be a great year, right?
*pfft*
Silly me – I don’t *GET* great years.
As the months progressed, I kept feeling worse and worse but it was all so gradual that, between anxiety and depression, I never realized just how bad my health was failing. Sure, I was in a lot of pain and “discomfort”, but then, I’ve always been in a lot of pain and “discomfort”, right, so nothing unusual there. No red flags were noticed; life such as it was went on.
Then the pain started getting markedly worse, especially in my already-partially-amputated left foot. Soon enough every single step caused excruciating pain like red-hot blades stabbing from the front of my foot all the way back.
It also hurt when I wasn’t walking on it.
Keep in mind that:
*I live in the U.S. where healthcare is but a dream if you’re an uninsured mortal… *I suffered from both anxiety and depression… *I know a lot about some aspects of medical care but by far not everything, and… *I am diabetic…
The pain and “discomfort” wore on my nerves so badly that at one point I seriously considered just ending it all.
Instead, because I have cats and a dog, I called 911 (emergency services for my foreign friends) on my ass. The pain, the “discomfort”, the anxiety and the depression really were that bad, but an angel kicked my ass, reminded me of shit, and made me reach for the phone.
I was admitted on Aug. 4th and wasn’t discharged until Aug. 25th. I remember small bits and pieces but most of the first two weeks I was in hospital are a foggy blur.
Amongst other issues, I was diagnosed with Charcot foot and an atrocious UTI. The X-ray of my foot (what was left of it, remember that about 1/3 of it had been amputated in 2017…) showed a tremendous degeneration of bone mass, and apparently I’m one of those people whose mental processes are severely affected by a UTI. The foot had been “hurting a little” until it was suddenly unGodly painful; I had no idea about the UTI except for a little lower back pain but who doesn’t have that?
Anyway, things happened and a body part was removed and another body part was disinfected (no wonder that FLM fled the scene – she must have known what was gonna happen and the horrid little beastie never even told me!) and time passed like my left leg.
When I was released, I had nowhere to go, no insurance therefore no rehab facility, no continuing physical therapy, no place to stay, no family I could call upon, nothing. Even if I had been able to get a ride home from the hospital, I didn’t have a wheelchair I could get to, and even if I had, my house isn’t compatible with wheelchairs and had no one to take care of me.
The reasons for my depression were real and realized.
The angel that guided my hand to my phone provided once again. I’ve been online friends with a group for well over 15 years now (and I cannot believe it’s been that long but it has) and led a member of that group who lives about 2 hours away to pick me up at the hospital and let me recuperate at her house in another state.
She had to acquire a wheelchair and a bedside toilet for my newly single-legged self to use. She provided transportation – 2 hours each way – for me to keep my appointments with the surgeon and then to keep appointments with “the leg guy” – the company recommended for the prosthetic leg.
Fake legs are strange animals. Newly amputated limbs are strange animals. These two animals do not speak the same language…I’m still on crutches.
Phantom pain is real, and it can hurt like a bitch. It can also itch. Right this moment my left toes are hurting. They vacated the premises back in ’17.
Currently I still have swelling at the amputation site and on above (I’m a “below the knee” amputee in that I have 3-4″ of bone below the knee). Doc cut the bone up to that point but was able to save a LOT of back calf muscle which he brought forward to cover the cut bone and sewed to the front of my remaining leg. He was genuinely shocked at how well I did – infection-wise and I guess mentally and emotionally accepting of the new reality – after the surgery.
I don’t miss that portion of my leg. By the end it not only was painful as all fuckout but wasn’t at all dependable. The new leg isn’t exactly dependable but with experience and gradual “downsizing” replacements, it will be. Eventually. Probably.
But at least the fake motherfucker doesn’t hurt.
Anyway, while I was stuck in bed for 3 weeks (a terrible time I just don’t feel like revisiting right now), the only computational device I had was my Kindle Fire. Thank God I had it. Problem was, I couldn’t remember hardly any passwords ESPECIALLY to…here.
I received a review today and that reminded me just how much I like you beautiful, glorious saints, sinners, angels, and demons. So I got bright, checked to see if I had the password saved on my browser – annnnd yup, I do!
Voila! Here I be!
I am still depressed but I’m handling it in a much more responsible way. I am drinking figurative gallons of fluids a day and monitoring for color and “discomfort”. I’m getting around in my house very, very slowly and I can’t do much of anything when I’m “up” except crutch along…slowly, but I’m doing it. I’m focusing on taking my insulin shots when and as I’m supposed to. And I’m freaking the fuck out about hospital bills, vet boarding bills for 2 cats and a dog for Aug, Sept, and over half of Oct, and the cost of this fake leg (they are VASTLY more expensive than you would EVER think). It’s all painfully, extortionately, ludicrously expensive.
But I’m alive, for whatever that ends up being worth.
Thank you for listening, for caring, for wondering where the everlovin’ fuck I am, and for reading. You guys are a bright light in darkened days, the memory of better times, and the hope that they’ll return someday.
TL;DR = LOST A LEG AND FOUND MY PASSWORD…
If you can and if you want, I do have a PayPal donation site thingie, and ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is very much appreciated.
Ok, you can go pee now and maybe think about letting the doggie out and giving the kitty cats some treats. Cats love treats. Wait, so do I…am I a kitty now? Don’t forget the iguana.
Love, peace, and paper towels,
~Mer
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To my shocked amazement, I’ve recently received several comments from my beautiful readers enquiring as to my continued existence.
Y’all make my heart sing because I truly thought I’d been, well, not exactly forgotten – more like allowed to just fade away into the beloved ether.
I haven’t been posting anything because it would mainly be whining, complaining, bitching, moaning, and other words ending in -ing that denote general and specific problems with the Universe and y’all just do not need to be brought down by my problems – y’all probably have enough of your own without me adding to it.
But eeenyway…
Ok, fwiw, I still exist. I’m not the same person I used to be and, honestly, none of us are. We can’t survive in a global pandemic with all its accompanying mental, financial, physical, and emotional trials and tribulations and NOT be changed in some fundamental way. It will likely take YEARS for all of us affected by this bullshit to “unpack all this damn baggage”. The death of a beloved, and last, parent during all this simply makes every single thing infinitely worse.
I won’t wax lyrical (again) about how hard the loss of my last parent has been for me. If you still have your parents and care at all for them, hold them close, get their stories and voices and images down in some permanent way, and if you have already lost one or both…then you already know.
Now, let’s discuss current, relevant life matters that are likely understood by far too many of us if you want.
Tell me your stories.
You need a place to vent, a place to scream out into the Universe? Here ya go. Please, feel free to use my comments section to do just that. It might/might not change a damn thing but it CAN feel “a bit less bad” when you release your dramas, your heartbreaks, your aches and sorrows and trials to the Universe. Hell, use ALL CAPS if you want – it’s YOUR story.
Me? I’mma do it right here thus giving you wonderful beings a glimpse into my current life. Skip to the end if whining/horror bores you.
I’m broke. I desperately need a job (and the job market is so great, right), only, because of my shitty health, such a joyous thing is not easily attainable. I need medical care but…no insurance because no job. I need a work-at-home job because my health is not only laughable but also super-vulnerable – I catch the virus, I die. The end. The cats and dog starve because I live alone. Not a good scenario, right?
The vaccines are a lovely thing and I would get Shot 1 tomorrow if it were possible but, like many others, my county isn’t being given nearly enough vax – TL;DR = it’ll likely be April or, more likely, May before I can even get Shot 1.
I still haven’t gotten/likely won’t get that second stimulus payment (that supposedly exists) because of weird loopholes, either. Oh, and for the shit cookie on top, my car hates me and is possessed by an evil entity that interferes with that whole “battery and ignition” thing.
So, my life sucks ass because of money, health, red tape, stupidity, and evil car entities.
And the cats’ litter boxes need changing again.
Wheee!!
However, I am not alone in being handed a shit sandwich followed by a shit cookie. While some people probably are doing just fine and I am glad for them, there are multitudes of us who aren’t.
So, let’s commiserate. There is an odd power in unity even when it’s “just” online. I might not be able to help y’all financially but I can certainly give you a safe place to vent and hopefully some mental/emotional comfort, too.
Y’all truly are the best and definitely deserve all good things. Consider yourselves hugged and mauled by puppies and kittens (and baby dragons and unicorns if you’re into that sort of thing)(lol).
WP sure has changed, man…hope this posts right and that the comments section is actually still enabled!
Weird.
Love y’all!
~Mer
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Last night at 2 minutes to 2am, his spirit left the body, the shell, he’d used while doing time on planet Earth.
Things are going in “frantic slow-motion” over here now, and it’s fucking hard. I wanted to keep y’all updated in case you were wondering but…chaos…so I went with another regular post.
The link to the “backstory” is here (aka: the post before this one):
Thank you for your kind wishes, thoughts, prayers, words of wisdom, offers to talk, and donations. Every bit of it is appreciated. (And the donations came in especially handy for gas, the “stuff” weird emergency situations require, and food en route to/from for me, so a definite thank-you for that.)
Now I get to muddle through planning my dad’s funeral and burial.
This sucks. I don’t want to bury my dad; I just want him to come home.
Rest in peace, daddy, and give’em all a rought time – especially my mom (your wife) and my favorite aunt (your sister) for leaving so damn soon.
I miss you, daddy.
~Mer
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I’d hoped to spring forth at the new year flinging new chapters around at you guys all willy nilly, but that hasn’t happened yet…and then I figured it was unfair to you guys to remain all quiet with nary a peep coming from my end, so…
PEEP! ???
Yes, I yet live, and no – despite all evidence to the contrary, I have not abandoned my unfinished works. I’m also not in the process of writing other things “professionally”, either…I’m just in a writing-less funk, that’s all. Granted it seems to be a long-term non-funky funk, but yeah, it’s just a funk.
The fact that I have unfinished stories is quite stressful to me, and I figure that’s likely part of why I’m in said funk (stress + stress + stress * even more stress = no words flowing from me).
But anyho, I really did want to touch base with you guys to let you know what’s going on (cause I’m all that an’ stuff…riiiight…) and to let you know that you are NOT forgotten. I cherish the kind words you’ve sent my way and have in fact gone back to read reviews because they’re an incredible mood lifter-upper. You guys really do rock the mostest!
TL;DR = I’m still here, words will spew forth at some point, and you guys rock. Stay tuned, and I hope you guys have a fantastic 2019!
♥
~Mer
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Here – catch: a heart-felt (and probably painfully loud so you might wanna step back a bit…a little more…a little…ok, that should be about right) THANK YOU!!! to everyone who has donated to the GoFundMe!!!!
You are the very BEST readers and I absolutely appreciate every single one of you anyway, but your response to the GFM has truly blown me away. Your support really does mean the world to me.
(I didn’t set the account up so I don’t know how GFM works so I don’t know how to individually thank the fantastic people who donated but I did want to thank you guys somehow!)
A better THANK YOU!!??
Eeeennyway…
The campaign has not ended. I still have to go for daily super-strong antibiotic IVs (“infusions” or if you wanna be all medical, “infusion therapy”), bi- and sometimes tri-weekly doctor (usually nurse) appointments, and I have at least one (probably two but I’m hoping the dr forgets) more surgeries in my future. (Oh, the joy.) Bluntly, I’m doing a LOT better health-wise but I ain’t out of the woods yet – it was just *that* bad, previously.
Here’s the handy-dandy link in case someone’s won the lottery:
Fic-wise, I *have* been thinking about my stories, especially The Moon and One Night. Thinking…but not writing yet. You’d think having to remain off my foot (and in/on bed/chair/wheelchair as I’m STILL not allowed to put ANY pressure on my foot AT ALL) for 23.5 hours a fucking day would be conducive to writing, however…it is not. I’m still too damn frustrated over all this mess *to* concentrate effectively on all the ins and outs of my fics.
(Why did I have to go and make them so dang complicated? Granted they’re not nearly as complex as many of our other writers’ plots are, but still…*grumph*)
I did want you to know that I have not forgotten my fics, and I haven’t forgotten you guys, either. This health mess is just taking for-freakin’-ever to resolve. But it’s getting there.
Eventually.
Thank you again, and I really appreciate your patience, your kind support, and of course if, your hard-earned cash. (You knew I was blunt, right? I mean, rly, you knew this already, right? *innocent face*)
*snicker*
♥
~Mer
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Ok, so as you’ve likely heard, the YWB Awards are back on again and will cover from April 15, 2015, to August 1, 2016.
Am I supposed to make a list of my stories that would qualify for nomination? Well, to hopefully make this a bit easier for y’all (and because I’m totally awesome like that), I did. Also, I’ve narrowed down the Categories that I might qualify for, too, if you kind folks might want to nominate a story or three or…you know. The *full* list of Categories is available on the YWB site, of course.
As for dates, I went by the date of the first review on each story. I can of course check my Dashboard for the specific date/time anything was posted or updated, but since that’s not publicly accessible and the dates of first reviews are…yup, exactly. That’s the simplest way for my site.
(There’s always a chance that I may have missed a fic or something, but I *think* I’ve listed everything applicable)
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Most Relevant Categories (for my fics):
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Hit Me With Your Best Shot Award – Best One Shot
Mr. January Award- Best Lemon – Category for best love/sex scene
The Greatest Love Story – Favorite Story – Category for best story of the year
Rollercoaster Award – Best Angst/Drama/Cliffhangers – Category for those stories that are able to leave you gasping for breath
The Saucy Award – Best Sookie – Category for the Best Sookie
The Viking Award – Best Eric – Category for the Best Eric in a story
The Flying Monkey Award – Best Villain – Category for the best villain, must provide name (**Do I even *have* good villains? I dunno…y’all decide, lol**)
Who the Hell Are You Award – Best OC – Category for the best Original Character, must provide name
Pins and Needles Award – W.I.P. story you wait anxiously for updates on – Category for WIP stories only and last update must have been in the dates provided
Best of the Best Award – All Time Favorite Story – Category for the best story of all time. This is the only category with NO time limit. Yes . . . Any story can be nominated for this award.
EricIsMine Award – Favorite Author – Category for your favorite author
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Even if you guys absolutely detest my fics, please nominate the writers/fics that you DO like. The TB/SVM community is a great place to share our written humor, fantasies, and what-ifs, and reader support is a fanfic writer’s coffee-and-donuts. Nominate well and thoroughly, and let your voices be heard!
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~Mer
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This…this has come at a very good time. The Spring Frazzles have struck with a vengeance and, well, I’ve come to slightly envy those chickens running around with their heads cut off because at least they can’t see what they’re about to run into, so yeah, this…wow – perfect timing.
Thank you, readers-mine. Really, thank you. This has blown me away. (I can’t believe it – even TwiFuckery and A Parody in Three Acts are on there!!! THAT IS FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! THANK YOU!!!!)
According to the site, “Voting opens on April 11, 2016”, so, like, don’t forget and stuff. In the meantime I’ll be sitting over here stunned, shocked, amazed, and most likely STILL grinning like a loon. (Do loons even grin? Well, THIS ONE DOES!)
Check out the other nominees, too – I’m in some truly fantastic company over there. (*I* just happen to have ALL the best readers, though…sorry, other writers…*my* readers totally freakin’ rock!!)
(How old do ya gotta be before “nanner nanner nanner” becomes TOTALLY inappropriate??? Just askin’ for a friend…)
*raises giganto coffee cup* Eric, Sookie, Godric, Cara, Andre (and Emma, she’s meandering around here somewhere still snickering at the Andre in Three Acts) and I salute you, your kindness, your great taste, your patience, your generosity, and your shimmeringly brilliant fantasticness! 😀
NON-CREEPY AND NOT-AT-ALL-AWKWARD HUGS ALL AROUND!!!!
~Mer
*Random pic of Alex as Tarzan as an after-blog mint*
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1- HELLO TO MY NEW FOLLOWERS!! Welcome aboard, have a look around – you’ll find the strangest things hiding in the strangest places (cause I suck at site organization), and note the Ask Me feature for if you have questions although I’m still available on FF for PMs if you’d rather ask via that route. You’ll find several things that weren’t posted over on FF, things written specifically for this site, etc. You won’t get lost no matter what you click on, so click away. Reviews/comments are always appreciated and I generally do reply to them.
2- Nope, I have NOT forgotten about BNP. I did cave and am re-doing a portion of the final chapter (I couldn’t resist), but it’s still on like donkey kong, so no worries there. It should be up in a few days (time permitting), and I’m giving serious thought to a certain outtake (no, it’s not that…no, not that either…ok, maaaybe…nope). Srsly, you guys could have NO idea what the outtake is about.
In fact, since you glorious readers-mine have been so patient, here’s a teaser:
Sookie rolled over and gazed at the fine features of the Viking dayresting by her side. The dim light coming from the partially open bathroom door cast a soft light on his beloved features.
Even now she couldn’t believe he was there…or that she was “there”, either.
She smiled.
As seemed to be the case with “all things Eric”, once he had come back into her life things had sped forward at an inhuman clip.
He was the embodiment of glorious pandemonium, and she wouldn’t change a thing about him.
Sookie remembered with more clarity than she liked how at one time she would have resented her Viking’s ability to turn her entire world upside-down.
Now, though… Now she knew that his “chaos” was actually far better organized than she’d realized.
He still turned her world upside-down and probably always would, but she didn’t mind – there was thought to his actions, thoughts and planning and a knowledge of the world and the way it worked that he had and she didn’t.
Sometimes she liked his plans and sometimes, in the past at least, she hadn’t, but Eric was smart and his plans no matter how far-fetched always had at least some sort of reasoning behind them.
His muscular shoulders, visible above the bed coverings, were broad enough to handle the problems he so willingly chose to bear, and his hands, although she couldn’t see them as one was under his head and the other was behind her waist, were more than big and strong enough to handle whatever came their way.
She truly couldn’t think of a single thing she would change about him even if she could.
So…yup, that’s the first part of what is a really, really long chapter (yes, there will be the usual breaks for intermission).
Anyway, I hope y’all are having a great week, and you’ll (again, time permitting) hear from me again soon.
Send coffee.
~Mer
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I’ve been told that I should show more of my words than just the ones in story form. It’s been an off day, so here’s this:
Have you ever felt like you’ve just been around way too long, that you’ve already walked way too many miles in your shoes, only, you’re barefoot?
Have you ever felt like you’ll never see or hear or feel anything new ever again, that you’ve seen or heard or felt all there is, and that there is nothing new left in the world?
Have you ever been fed up, pissed off, disgusted, irate, bitter, angry, disillusioned, frustrated, furious, aggravated, inconsolable, melancholy, abandoned, disheartened, cynical, jaded, and just plain worn the fuck out, but you didn’t even know exactly why?
Have you ever felt like you couldn’t pinpoint one specific thing that’s wrong because it’s all caused by a huge fucked up conglomeration of ALL things, but even then, you still couldn’t point to even twenty instances and say, “That’s why I feel this way” because there’s an angry miasma settling down over every single part of your life, your day, your night, your everything?
Welcome to my world. You are not alone.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled life.
~Mer
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Addicted to Godric...Eric...Andre...(Sevrin) 