IF NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

Then why am I updating? 

You see,since Dec. 28th I’ve been hiding in my head, trying to pretend the world doesn’t exist and avoiding thinking about things as best I can because the thoughts hurt  So…typing about them to you guys would have brought them to the forefront thus making me think the thoughts that I don’t want to think, plus I also REALLY REALLY don’t like being Deanna the Downer Dandelion, either.

For y’all, I want to be a source of fun, of stories and fantasies, of escape from the drudgery of daily life and caring about the YOU of you.  I don’t LIKE being a source of bad, horrible, negative drama in my own life, much less in yours – you deserve better than that!

But that’s all I got now – depression, fear, utter helplessness, anxiety, frustration, the whole badly dyed, slightly dusty 9 yards..

***sigh***

Remember the SSI telephone application appointment at the end of December that I had such high hopes for?

It did not go well.

At all.

The interview “lady” was so condescending, insulting, mocking, patronizing, and disparaging that I cried for a solid hour after getting off the phone. And then that evening. And that night. And the next day…

Imagine a Dolores Umbridge without the “hem hem” and you have the officious office beast I got stuck with.

I really don’t have any hope.

And that’s why I haven’t updated recently.  I am so sick and tired of being a constant source of whine and sadness.

Plus my cheapie keyboard is just that smidge too small and my fingers keep NOT hitting the right keys.  Frustrating!!

Also bronchitis ’cause that’s always fun. There’s more, a lot more, but I hate this keyboard and I’ve dumped enough off on you already. But I could really use a hug right about now.

Y’all really are great and I do most heartily thank you for caring and for letting me whine at you. I genuinely DO do hope you have been having a better 2023 than I have but honestly, that wouldn’t take much at all.  Somebunny win us all the lottery??

*pfft*  Hey, can’t hurt to toss the suggestion out into the Universe, right?

I should open my own whinery – I have enough stock by now!

Hugs,

~Mer

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Sadly this is needed now more than ever:

FUNDRAISER

Is No News…News? – Just Askin’ For A Li’l Patience

Ok, y’all – believe it or not (and, yes, in the middle of the shitty chaos that pretends to be my life now), I actually HAVE been rereading Moon to get back into the groove of it.

No, I haven’t started writing yet – but I *have* been refamiliarizing myself with the story (and Sookie’s Amazing Preggo Cravings, lmao). I may also have been being (still love mah twisty verbs) a bit amazed – did *I* write THAT??? Rly?? Awesome!!

Wish I had a “play by play” of the story to keep The Bad (Dae) Guys straight, like, who and where they are and who did what (besides that damn’d evil triplet! – I know where SHE is MWAHAHAH!). But I get caught up reading and forget to take notes (plus brain fog sucks). Eh, if I make big booboos when I eventually DO post, I hope y’all will (kindly? gently?) lemme know?

Unfortunately my attention to it can’t be undivided now – too many other worries going on (mostly money, but also pain/health/life/existential bullshit), but I did want to let y’all know that I *am* trying – I’m pretty sore from life’s constant beat-down now and am not nearly as resilient as I used to be (or, more likely, as I thought I was), but I am trying.

I also wanted to thank you all for all your kind words – they really do mean the world to me. But — did you know that one of the “side effects” of brain fog is thinking that you’ve replied when all you’ve really done is lost the email in the sea of other emails where other things are also lost? Yeah. So please x infinity do NOT read anything into it if I haven’t or didn’t reply to your kind messages/comments. There’s a real damn good chance that I thought I had then got distracted by feeding the cat and then I needed a coffee and because of the coffee needed to crutch it to go pee and oh cookies! and then it was dinner time and where did all the time go and ugh the chicken is still frozen and no I don’t want pasta yet again but… (That may or may not have totally happened more than once…)

You guys ARE the best and I truly DO appreciate your kindness more than you could possibly know. I am YOUR biggest fan, for reals. You already know that life is hard, that it’s a rancid battlefield dotted with landmines and quicksand, that sometimes the unicorns are rabid and sprites and fairies can have some damn sharp teeth, and yet you send me such great encouragement and kindness and thoughts and advice anyway.

Thank you. Srsly.

Anyway, I’ll wrap whatever this is up – just wanted to keep you in the swirly, curly loop – and hope that y’all have a wonderful day! (I really am trying, guys.)

~Mer

OBLIGATORY PAYPAL DONATION LINK

MAH DOGGY HAPPY CAUSE SHE’S SUCH A GOOD GIRL! She has become super-dooper protective of “mommy” after the amputation, bless her 10 (cough*15*cough) lb self!! (Got tired of photos of fake legs – hell, I see the damn thing every day as it is – and Happy is hella cuter!)

POETRY UN-COMPETITION

*waves*

So ok it’s not a REAL competition – I don’t have money for a prize anyway, and the “poetry” part is probably suspect as hell, too, but yeah. I have some words written in a poetic-ish fashion and wish to share them with you (apologies).

After you read them (srsly, apologies), I would like to either know what you think (cussin’ is allowed, of course), read what poetical thing you might write in response/opposition/etc., or both. They’re your words, too, so use’em!

So, without further ado’ing, here:

•~•0•~•

We were young

We were young
We were kings
Rulers of all
Running the streets
We didn’t know
Thought the world against us
Thought we had time
We didn’t know we had it all
We had time
Until we started fading
Until we lost hope
Until we lost the future
We didn’t know we had
Lights falling
Lights falling
Dreams going dark
We lost.

•~•0•~•

So, whatja think? Do you have your own set of words you’d like to post in the comments?

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. I guess you can tell I’m not in an especially good headspace atm. There’s lots of staring into the middle-distance with a bitter expression going on because that’s totes productive, right? My body is bad; my finances are worse than terrible; my creativity is awful… sigh Ever notice how comforting a thunderstorm can feel?

I hope y’all are doing better. I really do – I’ve “known” some of you for YEARS now. Sure, it’s “just” online, but I remember when I first started posting fanfic that it didn’t take long to start recognizing names of reviewers, to start recognizing who likes what style of story and who appreciated the writer as much as they appreciated the stories, who was especially supportive. It wasn’t difficult at all to develop a sincere appreciation for this one and that one, and to drift from “internet acquaintances” to genuine friends.

Thank you for that!

Hugs and all that mushy mush,

~Mer

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OBLIGATORY FUNDRAISING LINK

PS: You have no idea how very much I appreciate every single dime anyone has sent my way – your kindness means the world to me and absolutely warms my heart, so please don’t think the fact that I keep this fundraising active means I don’t value every single one of you. I do; it’s just that my situation is that dire. Thank you, for reals – from the bottom of my sweaty, cookie-crumb covered little adolescent heart that still giggles at penis jokes.

HEY, HI, HELLO AND A GRUMPIN’ (at YT cooks) WE WILL GO!

Well happy July 1st, one and all.  This year seems to be slam-bang screaming by – can’t believe it’s July already. I think the year has left skid-marks on my head.

It has not been a good year for me but I hope you guys have found enough decent, solid meaning during this passing of time to make the rotations around our little yellow sun-ball worth the experience.

I hope you’ve found music that makes you cry and grin and dance and make war on the vile, that you’ve found rhythms that make the bad demons flee and the good ones cackle.

I hope you’ve found recipes old and new, fun and healthy and luscious, for foods you can afford that bring warmth to your belly and comfort to your soul.

I hope you’ve found books that lure you into their dark and glorious depths that leave you exhilarated and exhausted and are tossed immediately into your reread pile.

I hope you have people in your life who both steady and rock your foundations, that lift you up to the stars while reminding you to get your oil changed – people who snag your last piece of gum but you know you can call them at 4am to discuss the vagaries of life and they won’t mind a bit.

It’s more/less the “middle of the year” so it’s a great time to see and honor what you’ve got, what you need, what you want to shed, and what you have to do to run free.

I hope your plants are well, that your vehicles aren’t being pains in the collective ass, that your plumbing is flowing as it should and that your pillows are perfectly fluffy.

If not: Think; hope; plan; do.

You’ve got ’til December 31st to pull 2022 up by its fucking bootstraps/lapel/short’n’curlies if you need to. 

It may not be “my” year or “your” year or “her” year or “his” year but maybe, just maybe, it can still become OUR year. Maybe.

Remember, cussin’ is still free…(just ignore the overflowing NoNo Jar on the counter).

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Annnnd now for my grumph at YouTube cooks…  My food budget is pathetic so I have to make do with what I can.  My mama, and to an extent my dad, raised me to be a pretty damn good cook, to experiment in the kitchen but while using common sense – the results may not taste that great if I’m trying something different but it’d still be very edible – and to always keep learning.

Herbs and spices and whatever the hell garlic – onions – shallots – etc are…are our friends, just as Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce and anchovies and anchovy paste are fantastic ingredients we can use to deepen the savories. They are all weapons in our cooking arsenal.

I have cook books aplenty…antique magazine recipes here and there…recipe cards that you can barely read they’ve been used so often…recipes I’m made so often that I remember every amount and step…and about 3 billion saved and bookmarked recipes and sites…

And then, there’s…YouTube.

YouTube cooks. 

Yeah.

Some are absolutely amazing, funny, have great (or at least pretty good – although there have been some where I’ve questioned their sanity) recipes and techniques they share along with funny stories and bad puns – I love “Chef John” with his “Food Wishes” channel, for example. 

And then there’s the crop of “Depression Era food cookin’ grannies (and a few gran’pas)” – srsly, there are several really old and not-as-old ladies on YT who either lived through the Depression themselves (they got into YT earlier on and some have sense passed on) or their parents lived through it and they remember how their parents cooked and did things.  Some have great stories, most have good-to-great recipes, but all of them have balls.

Then there’s the rest of the YT cooks.  The following applies to…them.  I give “the grannies” and obviously the newbie YT cooks a huge pass – hey, they’re trying, and quite often doing an amazing job of it – but the ones who try to come off as “experienced” or “semi-professional” or act like they’re “all that and a bag of So Niche You Can’t Find Them chips”?  Yeah, no.

And, so, here…my grumph:

9 Rules for YouTube Cooks:

1. WE KNOW HOW TO CHOP. You know how to chop. We know that you know how to chop. We do not need to see you chop, mince, slice, julienne, etc. the entire item or, especially, group of items. If we see you chop half a carrot or one potato to show us the size needed for the recipe, we do not need to see you chop the entire group of carrots or potatoes. We get it. You know how to use a knife and, yes, your hands are pretty. We don’t care. The same goes for peeling. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
2. WE KNOW HOW TO FLIP FOOD IN A PAN. We do not need to see you flip every…single…item. The same goes for stirring. We know how to stir. We know you know how to stir. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
3. WE DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOU ROLL OR SHAPE EVERY… SINGLE… BIT… OF… THE… FOOD. When you roll dough, flavored minced meat, vegetation, whatever, into a ball or other shape, the first two are enough. We get it. Please stop fondling the food. IT IS OK TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH REPETITIVE TASKS.
4. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ACTUALLY SCRAPE OUT YOUR BOWLS. Leaving a third of the food in the bowl is wasteful. And stop trying to pour ‘away’ from yourself – it looks awkward as hell and you never do transfer all the contents from the one container to the other. Also, after you’ve gone through all the trouble of daintily and gracefully chopping ingredients, don’t then leave half said ingredient on the chopping board. That is also wasteful. Reach over for the rest of it – I promise, we won’t mind.
5. DO NOT FLOOD THE PLATED FOOD WITH A TSUNAMI OF PARSLEY, CHIVES, OR OTHER UNNECESSARY GREENERY. Honestly, an overloading of greenery just looks unappetizing. If you absolutely must decorate your food, a very light sprinkling of greenery is more than enough.
6. STOP CRACKING EGGS ON THE SIDE OF THE BOWL! THIS CAN INTRODUCE MINUTE BITS OF EGG SHELL INTO THE DISH. Crack the egg on the flat surface right next to the bowl. I cringe thinking about all the minute bits of egg shell being a crunch factor in your food. Also, the breaking of eggs into a bowl is not interesting. We do not need to see you even cracking the first egg much less the third. Get on with it.
7. DON’T MEASURE OUT THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN ONE CONTAINER THEN TURN RIGHT AROUND AND DUMP IT INTO ANOTHER CONTAINER FOR THE MIXING. Like cream cheese – you know you’re going to be adding ingredients to the cream cheese so just plop the cream cheese block into its final mixing bowl to begin with – unless you LIKE washing unnecessary dishes…
8. WHEN USING PEELED ORANGES, REMOVE ALL THE PITH. The pith is the slightly bitter, tasteless, and weird textured white layer between the peel and the fruit. Leaving bits of pith hanging around just looks like you’re sad and don’t care.
9. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO USE CHEAP INGREDIENTS. Cabbages, potatoes, beans, peas, rice, noodles/pastas, sardines, tuna, canned/frozen vegetation – all these things are delicious in their own right especially when prepared in new or unusual ways.

CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS but here we go:
• Cherry/other teeny tiny tomatoes are all skin and seeds and little flesh. Stop using them. They’re annoying and look weird even when roasted.
• Peel your freakin’ cucumbers. Cucumber peel is nasty, tough, and vaguely bitter.
• Cilantro does not belong in EVERYTHING. Some of us are genetically predisposed to detest that vile, nasty devil-weed. And no, parsley is NOT a good substitute.
• READ THE ROOM: Steak, beef in general, yes – even hamburger, and other meats are simply too EXPENSIVE for many of us to afford now. Recipes featuring these items are not appreciated. Again, READ THE ROOM.
• If ingredients (especially so-called “ethnic” ingredients) are expensive or harder to find in some areas, feel free to mention substitution possibilities.
• Goofing up is NOT a sin. I repeat: goofing up is not a sin. If something goes wrong, show us how to fix it. That might be information WE need.
• If your recipe is something brought to you from your grandmother or great-uncle or it has a cute story attached to it, tell us! We like when you chatter while you’re cooking.
• If you have a pet wandering around, SHOW US! We love pets! (But also show us washing your hands if you pet them, lol.)

Finally, let us see if you’re having FUN cooking whatever your amazing dish is. We want to see you enjoying yourself!

Agree?  Disagree?  Have anything you’d like to add??

Ok, so, that’s all for today. Hugs to you and your pets! (My old-lady cat Gypsy is today’s Managing Editor, btw…)

~Mer

And as always, here’s the updated link to PayPal for the fake leg + medical bills fundraiser!

PAYPAL FUNDRAISER LINK

Thank you for all your kindness! I really do appreciate y’all so, so much.

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NEW YEAR, HAPPY, UM, HAVE ONE

This year, how about let’s drop all notions of silly things like “resolutions” or “plans” and just huddle in our jammies in a blanket fort (heated or a/c’d depending on your location) with a good book and a cup of something eminently sippable, yeah?

When I was a kid I was always soooo excited to stay up and “watch the ball drop” ’cause there was some sort of indefinable magic associated with The Coming of the New Year!! 

Now?  Yeah, not so much.  There will be no resolutions or plans and staying up to watch the ball drop?  Nah, probably not.  Damn thing never bounces anyway…

New Year’s Day or Eve or whatever.  Yay.  So like is everything gonna ALLUVASUDDEN change because the date on the calendar did?  And if it DID change, would it even be for the better??

Between all the old, new, and future COVID variants and associated and/or unassociated health, financial, and weather disasters… there are just too many disasters running rampant for me to have any hope for that.  It ain’t like THOSE things will suddenly disappear.

*sigh*

Oh, 2022, I’d love to have oodles of faith in you and your magic but…

Srsly.  Don’t even look it in the eye… 

Eeenyway, what about y’all?  What are your New Year’s plans?  The night of, the day after, etc.?  Are y’all gonna bother with resolutions and plans and hopes and such?

Also, here is a place to tell us about the GOOD things that happened to/for you this year.  Acknowledging the bad is necessary for reality and mental health but we can ALSO acknowledge – and revel in – the good, too.  I hope plenteous good things DID happen for y’all this year.  Just because the universe flushed my life down the toilet doesn’t mean that I begrudge you your wins! 

LAY IT ON ME, BAY’BE!

Did you kick his/her unworthy ass to the curb?  Did you get that book/play/’script published?  Did you finally pop that hidey-ass’d “bone deep” zit?  Did you finally find a back-scratcher that actually works?  Did you manage to get that one specific plant to bloom?  Did you meet the love of your life?

TELL US!  Let us celebrate with you!

To conclude whatever this was, I really do hope you beautiful, glorious wee beasties have a thoroughly amazing year in 2022. 

I hope your personal Universes collectively decide to make up to you for all the bullshit of the last two years.  I hope your coffers are filled and overflowing with currencies legal in your area, that all your health problems miraculously resolve themselves, that any family/friend problems do the same.  I hope that all who are important to you accept you for the glorious entity that you are, and I hope that your imaginations work overtime to bring light and magic  and resolutions and that maybe, just maybe, you will have a truly fantastic year.

I wish for these things myself, and hope that all our wishes come happily, completely, and irrevocably true.

Before I sign off on this wonderment of meandering, I want to thank you for your generosity. Your kindness whether in word or in deed, or in both, means the absolute world to me. When I say that every little/huge/tiny bit helps, I mean it. It means my cats and dog can eat; it means my lights are still on and that I still have internet. It means I owe a bit less to the vets and to the leg people, to the ambulance people and the anesthesia company and the… It means I slept a bit better those nights. It means that you are priceless and beyond wonderful.

Love, coffee, goodwill and a non-shitty 2022 to all,

~Mer

UBIQUITOUS FUNDRAISERY THING BC FAKE LEGS/BOARDING FEES/MEDICAL BILLS ARE EXPENSIVE

Also a link but as a pic of my awesome furbebes (the ones who were boarded for over 2.5 months thus the humongo vet boarding fees since I had no one to care for them):

Go hug your pets. Now.

THAT TIME O’YEAR

This…post? collection of words?…whatever…has two functions.

First and foremost, I want to wish every single one of you magnificent creatures truly fantastic Christmas/Yule/Holiday tidings. I hope you feel the warmth, comfort, and festive spirit of this time of year. I wish you warm, cozy toesies and eggnog burps, spiced wine and the comfort of a firelit hearth, cold wet puppy noses and little kitten purrs, and most of all the joy – the “hug” – of the season.

Second, if you are just not feelin’ the joy, dude, I got’cha. That’s where I am, fam. It just ain’t happening this year either. I am just too <everything icky and negative> for the “warmth of the season” to have a chance to take hold. So, I get it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and there is nothing WHATSOEVER wrong with just plain not feelin’ it. Grump is the word, y’all. Maybe next year?

But that’s no excuse to ignore the eggnog and fruitcake and cookies, tho’…right??

All that being said, I wish you great tidings and eggnog, warm hearths, mulled cider and wine, gingerbread and sugar cookies, huge platters of favorite foods, warm buttery puffy pastries and jelly tarts, cozy blankets and lovely flickering candles. I want the best for y’all.

You deserve it.

You are absolutely the best readers any writer could ever want and I appreciate every single glorious one of you. You mean the world to me.

I’m vaguely mentally planning another post/whine session/group hug before the new year but jic not, HAPPY (effin’) NEW YEAR to you!!

(Srsly, fuck this year.)

Love and appreciation and all that warm and fuzzy stuff,

~Mer

*Had to redo the fundraiser thing b/c apparently they expire after so many days? I don’t understand modern life. Anyway, here:

Same fundraiser, different day

Just a THANK YOU!/update/other words

Here – catch:  a heart-felt (and probably painfully loud so you might wanna step back a bit…a little more…a little…ok, that should be about right) THANK YOU!!! to everyone who has donated to the GoFundMe!!!!

You are the very BEST readers and I absolutely appreciate every single one of you anyway, but your response to the GFM has truly blown me away.  Your support really does mean the world to me.

(I didn’t set the account up so I don’t know how GFM works so I don’t know how to individually thank the fantastic people who donated but I did want to thank you guys somehow!)

A better THANK YOU!!??

Eeeennyway…

The campaign has not ended.  I still have to go for daily super-strong antibiotic IVs (“infusions” or if you wanna be all medical, “infusion therapy”), bi- and sometimes tri-weekly doctor (usually nurse) appointments, and I have at least one (probably two but I’m hoping the dr forgets) more surgeries in my future.  (Oh, the joy.)  Bluntly, I’m doing a LOT better health-wise but I ain’t out of the woods yet – it was just *that* bad, previously. 

Here’s the handy-dandy link in case someone’s won the lottery:

https://www.gofundme.com/paying-it-forwardhelping-karen

Fic-wise, I *have* been thinking about my stories, especially The Moon and One Night.  Thinking…but not writing yet.   You’d think having to remain off my foot (and in/on bed/chair/wheelchair as I’m STILL not allowed to put ANY pressure on my foot AT ALL) for 23.5 hours a fucking day would be conducive to writing, however…it is not.  I’m still too damn frustrated over all this mess *to* concentrate effectively on all the ins and outs of my fics. 

(Why did I have to go and make them so dang complicated?  Granted they’re not nearly as complex as many of our other writers’ plots are, but still…*grumph*)

I did want you to know that I have not forgotten my fics, and I haven’t forgotten you guys, either.  This health mess is just taking for-freakin’-ever to resolve.  But it’s getting there.

Eventually.

Thank you again, and I really appreciate your patience, your kind support, and of course if, your hard-earned cash.   (You knew I was blunt, right?  I mean, rly, you knew this already, right? *innocent face*)

*snicker*

♥

~Mer

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One Night, Part Whatever, is up + OMGODRIC, YOU GUYS – THANK YOU!!!!!

Keep in mind that you guys are not allowed to yell at me because I’ll cry and get all red-eyed and snotty (srsly, I have a terrible cry-face), ok?  (ThisparticularNightwillhaveaPart5.)
(IfItellyoulikethisitsoftenstheblow,right?)

Pack a lunch.  And dinner.  And some snacks.  Oh, and you guys may wanna take notes as you go – this bad boy is…you guessed it…hella long.  You’ll see why I stopped it when I did.  It’s also why it took for fucking ever to get it out to you, too. (FLM told me to say that.)

So…you lovely readers who like long reads will be in Heaven.  You lovely readers who don’t…can take several breaks – just remember where you left off…  This Part happens within a relatively short time and contains funny-ha has, seriousness, a gasp or two, mountains, correct pronunciations, a Pam, a cat, a ‘vette, and maybe a couple of cherries (Eric refused to verify).  Proceed with vigor!  😉

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Now:

OMGODRIC, YOU GUYS – THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

When the fantastic Missingjasamalways commented to tell me to check out the YWB winners…I did…AND THEN I SCARED MY DOG SQUEEEING!  (Yes, “squeeeing” is too a word.)

Thanks to you fanfuckingtastic readers AND VOTERS!!!, I won 8 Awards!

That’s eight.  E.I.G.H.T.  7 + 1.  ***—>  8  <—***  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

That is 8 (EIGHT!!!) more than I’d had a hope to win, y’all, and it’s all because of YOU.  Did you see how fierce the ‘competition’ was?  (And by “competition” I mean that we’re not actually competing against each other – we may not all be best buddies but we’re hella more likely to support each other than not because there’s no NEED for any competitive feelings in our luscious fandom.)  There were so many amazing writers and amazing stories and you guys voted for me!
THANK YOU!!!

Can I brag now??  *pfft*  Given ALL the AMAZING talent represented in these awards, hell yeah Imma brag:

First and foremost considering the new Part linked above, here is the one for One Night:  PINS AND NEEDLES, Y’ALL – PINS! AND! NEEDLES!!!  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot Award – Best One Shot

The Hybrid Award – Best Crossover

Rollercoaster Award – Best Angst / Drama / Cliffhangers

The Saucy Award – Best Sookie  (Woot!!  Go Sookie!!  Yeah, I’m totally seal-clapping here…oops, sorry for any flashbacks…)

The Flying Monkey Award – Best Villain  (*mwahahaha*)

Who the Hell Are You Award – Best Original Award  (Yay for Sevrin!!!!  He totally just grunted a thank you…FLM will verify!)

And last but hella-certainly not least:

EricIzMine Award – Favorite Author  (Ok, this one made me tear up a little/lot – you have no idea how very much I appreciate this.)

Really, thank you so very much for all the love.  It means the world to me that you find time in your day to read my words and let me know what you think, but that you even take the time to cast your votes for me blows my socks off.   (You did know I’m naked under my socks, right?  NO BLUSHING…!) Now go read and enjoy, and know you’ve made me very happy!

❤

~Mer

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YUP, THAT, & a short TEASER

It’s been bizzy over here in Meridian-ville, which among other things is also good for those of you who enjoy my scribblings.  So…in this ‘issue’ we not only have the YUP and the “don’t forget THAT I posted these things that WP may not have informed you of” bit, but…there’s also a TEASER for the next Part of One Night.  And I am totally evil-grinning over here, too, cause I know what happens in this chock-full Part…

Good *Newses!

*is too a word……now……

A WHERE-I-AM PLUS A SEISMIC THANK YOU

(I started to type this in all-caps so it would appear that I have more energy than I actually do but the constant need to correctly capitalize sentence starts and proper pronouns just made it look stupid so fuck that.  I’m tired.  There.  I mumbled it sorta out loud.)

First of all I want to thank my FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT, WONDERFUL, AMAZING, AND DID I MENTION FANTASTIC? readers for all your VERY much appreciated love and support of the new story!  Y’all have absolutely blown my (invisible, because it’s hot here) socks off with your comments and likes!  As you know I love replying to comments – it gives “us”, the reader and the writer, a great way to touch base with each other, plus you (the collective ‘you’) are such great fun to just chat with, too.  I love being able to do that.  Sadly, between lack of time and feeling like a bulldozed watermelon, replies to this last chapter of ON will have to wait.  Hence, this broad “thank you”.

Now, the five current WIPs all have bits and pieces in the process of being thrown together, and the epilogue/potential (PO-TENT-TSHEL) “future nights” for the (Awww, man, if I go with more nights I’ll have to change the name won’t I?  I dunno…not if I just do the odd night – the odd “one night”- here and there?  Fuck it, I’ll pull a Sookie and deal with it later) now-complete-but-maybe-not story is shimmering around in my oddly-vast brainbox.  

Now for the “but”…cause there’s always an ass involved…

Thing is, I’m one of those people who are sometimes very negatively impacted by the inflammatory response caused by sugar.  Yup – plain ol’ sugar – brown, white, turbinado, cane, beet…you know:  sugar.  As I’m T2 diabetic I usually don’t eat very much of it at a time anyway, so my tolerance to it nosedives.  Then if I, say, give in to the ‘need’ to bake a, say, peach cobbler with, say, too much brown sugar (hey, it’s cool when it caramelizes on the top!) then, say, eat too damn much of the damn thing, I pay like fuck for it for the next couple days. 

As you MIGHT can tell, it, shall we say, “negatively affects” my mood (any laughs that escape my cobbler-hole sound like a death warning), and Advil can only do so much to help negate the aches and pain response.

Dread may have a little bit to do with my desire to remain under my bed, too – my birthday is May 5 and GUESS WHAT:  I get to have a motherfucking ROOT CANAL on that day.  So yeah, the me of me is not a happy fucking camper.

Yay – the tooth will in theory stop fucking hurting.
Boo – it will involve a root canal. ..on my damn birthday.

Oh, and before anyone suggests that I ask the dentist for pain relievers to last from now till then, let me remind you that I live in the “”glorious”” Bible-Belt south where all medical personnel are far more afraid of “”enabling drug addicts”” than they give a damn about those of us in actual pain. Yhep, drug addicts are far more important than pain-ridden patients and doctors, dentists, and whoever the fuck else fearfully and with collapsed balls worship their beloved restrictions to an insane degree.  I vote we direct every ache and pain to those assbastards who would rather regulate against people in pain because they prefer to worship/”protect” damn drug addicts.  I have nothing either for or against drug addicts but damn, don’t make ME suffer because of their shit.

(I may be somewhat biased based on the amount of Advil I’m shoving down said cobbler-hole but GAWD FORBID doctors/dentists around here miss an opportunity to let someone hurt…)

Tolja I was in a shitty mood.  Hopefully after this next week is over I’ll feel more human/humane…nah, I’ll still be in a shitty mood…just might be able to better front it.  At least I never claimed to be all nicey-nice, though, right?

So, yeah, that’s where I currently am.  Have a better day.  ♥

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NOTICE AND *EXCERPT* OF UPCOMING STORY

Ok, so a while back I thought about posting a “thank you” story when the 500th person followed my blog (great choice, yo!).  Now, WP divides follow count into two sections:  blog and email, but for the purpose of this nefarious scheme of mine I’m counting actual blog follows since the total follower count would have risen far too quickly for me to have coughed up a decent story (it was well into the 600s total when this notion struck).

To that end, I’m currently 11,855 words into what will be a single-post long one-shot.  (Yes, there will be intermissions.)  This monster, The Night Eric Northman’s Life Changed Forever, begins just after Eric arrives home from Fangtasia the night he first sees Sookie and will encompass only that night (it’s a busy night).  As with anything I write, it goes AU at the speed of fangs snicking down and may include wee tiny tidbits from SVM.  This is written entirely in Eric’s POV with lots of thoughts and some snark.  Hey, it’s Eric, ya know?

Yes, there’s even a cat.

A little while ago my 501st follow just signed on board the WP express, so here’s a nice excerpt.  I won’t be posting the entire work until it’s completed but I expect it to be finished soon.

Without further ado, and to thank all my delicious followers (WP and email alike – y’all all smell fantastic, btw), here’s a little teaser that will MOST likely remain unchanged when the story is actually posted, but no promises:

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Once home from the bar, Eric Northman automatically headed straight to his shower. As financially pleasing as Fangtasia was, its accumulated stench was an entirely different story. Even when his “glaring from the throne” time was cut short, the reek of desperation mixed with too many chemicals still clung. Mechanically proceeding to soap up, scrub down, and rinse off, he let his thoughts wander through the night’s unusual events.

For the first time in…he couldn’t remember how long, the evening’s burdensome load of deadly, generic boredom had been shot all to hell.

Thank. Fuck. Even if it had included yet another raid for the crime of being vampire…

By this point he knew he would normally be fuming over the way money kept magically disappearing – for two cents he would suspect his accountant but the human had been glamoured to within an inch of his sanity so he highly doubted the man was capable of even stealing a pencil by now. That only left a scant handful of potential suspects and…his mental rant was interrupted by the memory of eyes that dared to directly meet and hold his own.

That was unusual in and of itself – that he thought of something different and that some young chit of a girl had dared to meet his gaze without flinching or fawning.

Vampires either feared him or were drawn to him, but either way they were innately wary of both his age and the power he naturally exuded. Same thing happened with Weres but with far less “lure” and far more “fear”, thanks be.

Humans were strange creatures. Most didn’t perhaps understand why they were both scared of and drawn to him, but they were and to an annoying degree.

Regardless, few dared to meet his gaze and actively hold it.

The girl didn’t seem to know much about vampires, though, which honestly should have made her even less likely to meet ones’ eyes since far too many of them knew about vampire glamour.

Damn publicity.

Among other things the way she’d held out her hand to Pam had proven a lack of intimate familiarity with his kind, but despite her nervous chatter she did seem to have a backbone when it came to those pictures.

Why was she going round shoving pictures of ugly women at vampires?   And why hadn’t fucking Compton filled her in on vampire etiquette, anyway? If she was supposedly “his” then that’s his fucking job. If you take on a human, you take on the job of educating them, damn it!

The fact she was on Compton’s arm said she was either stupid or naive, and Eric was pulling for the latter. Naive…he could work with naive.

As he toweled off, he caught himself almost grinning.

Compton actually thought he could keep such a tasty little drop of sunshine that intriguing all to himself? Moron must be more mentally decomposed than I’d originally thought.

What his disease of a Maker saw in him was the question of the ages.

But…what’s he doing in my territory anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be kissing someone’s ass in the darling queen’s court these nights? Something must be going on…he was trying too hard to be sly tonight…

For some reason that he didn’t bother searching for, he suddenly decided to shave off the scruffy beard he’d been sporting for a while. He glared at his hair as it fell into his eyes over and over again, but there wasn’t much he could do about it just then.

After donning his tracksuit bottoms and his silk robe, he padded into his office, grabbed one of his burner phones, and sent a text to his most dependable ear at the brat-queen’s court. If anyone could find out what was going on, it’d be Rasul.

He noticed a waiting text from Pam and checked it as he wandered into the den, then settled before his unlit fireplace. The option of having a warm flickering fire when he wanted it was nice but it wasn’t cool enough yet to warrant one – one of the many benefits of Shreveport, Louisiana.

***Bribed the bribeables and glam’d the humans, closed bar. Small fine, 2-night closure, blah blah blah. Taryn and her dinner weren’t caught but that bitch is going in a cage when I catch her. WTF was Blondie? Are there more where she came from? How did she know about the cops? I’m thirsty and I have her address – wanna split dinner?***

Eric felt something in his chest tighten at the thought of Pam biting the Stackhouse girl…

•~•0•~•

So…what’d you think:  Want more?   You know the drill – let me know what you think in the comments.  Have a great evening/night/morning, etc.!

~Mer

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Is this an April Fools’ Day Joke? Cause if not…

HOLE-Y CACA-PANTS…! You guys???  Thank you!!! 

I HAVE THE BEST  READERS EVER!!!  I can’t believe this!! 

A little birdie told me to go look here and because I’m sometimes a little gullible (and I totally trust said sweet little birdie) I did and – srsly:

HOLE-Y CACA-PANTS!!!!

DID YOU SEE??? DID YOU SEE??? —  DID!! YOU!! SEE!!??? 

You guys make me tear up in the good way!!

(Here are the nominations listed by Category.)

This…this has come at a very good time.  The Spring Frazzles have struck with a vengeance and, well, I’ve come to slightly envy those chickens running around with their heads cut off because at least they can’t see what they’re about to run into, so yeah, this…wow – perfect timing.

Thank you, readers-mine.   Really, thank you.  This has blown me away.  (I can’t believe it – even  TwiFuckery and A Parody in Three Acts are on there!!!  THAT IS FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!!!!  BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!  THANK YOU!!!!)

Shhh: Cheat sheet:

All-Time Favorite True Blood Fanfic – Blue Nail Polish
Favorite Comedy Fanfic – A Parody in Three Acts
Favorite Comedy Fanfic – TwiFuckery
Favorite Complete Fanfic – Blue Nail Polish
Favorite One-shot Fanfic – Playing for Keeps
Favorite One-shot Fanfic – Shall We Dance
Favorite Risqué Fanfic – Eric Northman: After the Show
Favorite Romance Fanfic – Blue Nail Polish
Favorite Romance Fanfic – Decisions
Favorite Romance Fanfic – Sookie Takes Charge
Favorite Romance Fanfic – The Moon
Favorite Work-In-Progress Fanfic – Eric Northman: After the Show
Favorite Work-In-Progress Fanfic – Sookie Takes Charge
Favorite Work-In-Progress Fanfic – The Moon
Favorite Veteran Author

According to the site, “Voting opens on April 11, 2016”, so, like, don’t forget and stuff.  In the meantime I’ll be sitting over here stunned, shocked, amazed, and most likely STILL grinning like a loon.  (Do loons even grin?  Well, THIS ONE DOES!) 

Check out the other nominees, too – I’m in some truly fantastic company over there.  (*I* just happen to have ALL the best readers, though…sorry, other writers…*my* readers totally freakin’ rock!!)

(How old do ya gotta be before “nanner nanner nanner” becomes TOTALLY inappropriate???  Just askin’ for a friend…)

Check out Gyllene’s nominations, and here is the All-Time Favorites list for True Blood.  Go check it out – there are SO MANY WRITERS listed – it’s like THE “Who’s Who” listing of the year!!

*raises giganto coffee cup*  Eric, Sookie, Godric, Cara, Andre (and Emma, she’s meandering around here somewhere still snickering at the Andre in Three Acts) and I salute you, your kindness, your great taste, your patience, your generosity, and your shimmeringly brilliant fantasticness!  😀

NON-CREEPY AND NOT-AT-ALL-AWKWARD HUGS ALL AROUND!!!!

~Mer

*Random pic of Alex as Tarzan as an after-blog mint*

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