Sookie Takes Charge, Ch. 19

**A/N:  Not gone over with my usual fine-tooth’d comb so ignore anything odd and/or wrong.  I could have waited until this migraine went away and proofed it then, or I could have said a less polite version of “Pooh on that, don’t make them wait till the Nth of Never and go ahead and post it now.”  Guess which I went with?**

By the time Godric handed Sookie his surprisingly thick reply to Eric, she was almost bouncing with impatience to return to the other realm. She wasn’t exactly sure why – the hotel suite was permanently registered in her name, there were no deadlines for the book she was vaguely reconsidering writing, and Mr. C had everything else under control, so there really was no rush. She did acknowledge that since this particular exchange seemed important somehow to Godric considering how long it was taking him to write back, Eric would probably be impatient for the reply, so that must be it.

Sure.

Claudy’s smirking farewells as she suddenly decided to to visit another Court did not completely reinforce that nice-sounding reasoning.

Of course, neither had Godric’s own parting words quietly exchanged before the ancient one had popped off to who-knew-where.

When he had appeared before her as she sat in one of the Palace’s “royal” gardens – “royal” only in that they were reserved for members of Niall’s blood family yet appearing exactly as most other gardens in Fairy – her relief when noticing the envelope in his hand must have been more obvious than she’d intended.

“Ah, impatient to return to your own realm, I see. Is there a particular reason for such eagerness? Would that reason be, I wonder, tall, blond, and Viking in origin?” The utter innocence in his sparkling blue-gray eyes was astounding.

Knowing that her cheeks were blushing worse than her cousin’s hair didn’t help the situation.

Instead of answering and while avoiding his all-too-knowing gaze, Sookie reached for the envelope he’d held out and was truly surprised by its thickness. After looking at it for a moment, she asked, her expression when she finally looked up becoming serious, “Is everything ok? I don’t want to know what you and Eric are talking about or anything, that’s between the two of you, but this is awfully thick, and it seemed to take you longer to write back and all.”

For a moment his ancient face turned pensive as his eyes surveyed something seen long ago and far away, and then he smiled a bit sadly. “Yes, it is, and it will be. Eric and I…we are not who we started life being nor are we who we used to be. We are old with experience and knowledge, yet we are new again.”

Impulsively Sookie stood and wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him close. His arms immediately returned the favor, and they held each other quietly for a long moment.

Finally Godric stepped back enough to look down into her face and advised in a voice soft but serious, “Should my Child choose to speak with you, listen with your heart. The past will never leave us, Sookie, as it is part of who we are now, but we cannot go forward if we only see what has been. We learn, and then we let it go.”

Whether Sookie wanted it to happen or not, a memory of Eric chaining her by her neck in that disgusting dungeon beneath Fangtasia immediately crossed her mind and was followed by the extremely painful memory of Russell’s bite.

Godric must have sensed the direction of her thoughts because his quickly sympathetic gaze brought tears to her eyes. He cupped her cheek and slowly caressed her paling skin with his thumb.

“He has much to atone for, I know this. So does he. Without betraying his confidence I can clearly state that not only does he wish to, but that he believes himself unworthy of the opportunity. That does not mean he won’t try, however,” he added with a wry grin at Eric’s chosen approach to life, a wobbly grin that Sookie returned. “It will be up to you to decide if you can forgive him, and me.”

“You? But you had nothing to do with it!”

“Yes, Sookie, to my shame, I had everything to do with it even if I had no intention of it being so.” He sighed, then dropped his arms to grab her hand. “Come, let us sit and talk.”

Instead of sitting on the bench nearby, Godric led her further from the main path until they reached a much more secluded garden table with two comfortable chairs.

Once they were seated and refreshments were popped in – iced tea for her, iced blood for him – he began.

“First and foremost I am at fault for not realizing even once in the past thousand years how very badly Edgington’s actions during Eric’s youth truly affected the young man he had been. I knew of his trespass against Eric’s family, and we did search for him a few times, but we did not know his identity, but I could have tried harder. Had I done so, I would certainly have ended him long ago.”

Sookie, her face concerned, made to interrupt the ancient vampire, but he gently shushed her as he patted the hand she had rested on his. “No, child, let me say my piece. As Eric’s Maker, I did him an enormous disservice by taking myself away from him when I did. Of course I had no idea what was wrong with me, nor did I know how things would go, but that does not excuse my selfishness. Had I been there with him where I should have been, Edgington would not have been a problem.”

Sookie shivered at the deadly look in Godric’s eyes and knew without a doubt that regardless of Russell’s supposed age or power, he’d have been no match for the vampire still holding her hand so tenderly.

“Instead I was…gone. I was not there to accept and fulfill my chosen responsibilities as Eric’s Maker, and Eric had heartrending choices to make. At the end, when given all the demands on his time and attention, I am not certain he could have chosen differently, but even with only my advice things would never have gotten to that point…had I been there.”

He turned to more fully face Sookie and tipped her chin so that she would meet his eyes.

“Sookie, I apologize with every part of my being to you for allowing my absence to cause those things to happen to you. You did not deserve to be so used by my Child, by Compton, by Sophie-Anne…you deserved none of it. It would have been in my power to easily prevent these things, and I feel as though I have failed you, too, in my selfish despair.”

Tears streaming down her face, Sookie hastily shook her head, but he was determined to continue.

“I know I wasn’t thinking clearly, and now I know better why, but that does not negate the fact that my highly preventable absence caused such destruction in so many lives. I…”

At this point Sookie had had enough.

“No, Godric,” she interrupted strongly. “We’ve talked about this, and no, you were in no state to suffer the world, and you were in that state precisely because you wanted to protect Eric from feeling just how awful you were feeling because you didn’t want him to worry, and you didn’t want those bad feelings creeping through the bond and infecting him, too. You weren’t there because you were here and here is where you should have been all along, Godric. You were supposed to be here, not there.” She stopped and summoned a tissue then gave Godric a glare daring him to speak while she mopped her face and blew her nose less than delicately. After she popped the abused tissue out of existence, she returned her glare to the ancient vampire holding appropriately silent.

“I’m sure that between you and Eric most of that stuff wouldn’t have happened. It did, though, and now we, both of us, all three of us really, have to figure out a way to move on from it. And we will, somehow. I guess. I do know that you’re not responsible for any of it, Godric. None of it. If you had known that any of it was going to happen, would you have gone to that damn roof in Dallas?”

The challenging gleam in her eyes did not escape his notice.

“No,” he said with a resigned laugh, “of course not.”

“Alrighty then, case closed,” she ordered firmly.

Eyes slowly regaining their twinkle, Godric tipped his head. “As you say. Now, if Eric chooses to speak with you, will you hear him?”

Sookie scrunched her nose at Godric’s determination to not let the subject go. Trust was…really hard. When broken, it was nearly irreparable.

Hiding his slight discouragement with her continued reluctance however understandable it might be, Godric asked, “Do you consider that you have changed or grown since that event?”

At Sookie’s nod, he continued, “Then you must consider that Eric, too, has learned and grown from that time, that he has since come to new realizations. If you can, why can’t he?”

“It’s not… It’s just that… I don’t…know. I’m trying, I really am. I like to think that if he’d seen another way out, any other way out, he’d have chosen that one instead. But it happened and I’m not sure how to make myself really trust him again. I mean, even before then he’d lie to me one minute then ask me to trust him the next, then he would do something generous and selfless then he’d follow that up with something nasty or downright cruel. In fact, I remember saying something like that to him a while back when we were standing on my front porch. But then in a way I don’t feel like I ever really knew him at all to begin with, so…so I don’t know. I guess my best option is just to get to know him, period.” She shrugged and studied her hands.

“And that, my Sookie, is the best news I have heard today. I want you to find and know the Eric that I know and hold so dearly. Listen with your heart and truly hear his words. You may find yourself quite surprised by what you will learn.”

Godric laughed at the disbelieving look she gave him, but knew she was taking his words to heart.

After a strong hug and a few pleasantries, Sookie left for her own realm.

His words haunted her drive back to Shreveport. He was right, she knew; Eric had seemed different to her when she saw him again after their first meeting at the hotel door she was now entering. As she toed off her shoes and plugged her dead phone in to charge, she accepted with poor grace the fact that she had known all along that she’d be giving Eric another chance to show her who he really was.

It was only fair since she was going to show him who she was now. He’d never really known her, either, and that was both their faults just like it was both their faults that she didn’t honestly know him.

She put on a pot of coffee since it was only mid-afternoon yet the day was feeling a week long already, then called her voicemail on the hotel phone. As she listened to Mr. C’s message, she hovered over the coffeemaker, but her mouth dropped open when she found out that her new home was in fact in the same area as a certain vampire’s house…

As Mr. C had been solely responsible for choosing the location of her new home, she knew the proximity to Eric’s house truly was a coincidence (unless Mr. C had matchmaking tendencies, but then, he’d also said that the area was a prime location for the most affluent supes in the area), but it still made her laugh.

As she sipped her coffee, she decided that the coincidence was more a nudge from Fate than anything…and maybe Fate’s real name was Godric?

Sure seemed like it in a way.

Abruptly she decided to go and wash the Fae away. There was no sense in taking chances and she did have a Viking to go see, after all, since that vampire in question must surely be waiting impatiently on his Maker’s reply.

As good an excuse as any…

Maybe Eric could tell her what day it was.

**”One minute you lie to me the next you ask me to trust you. You do something generous and selfless and then you follow that up with something nasty or downright cruel,” comes from True Blood Season 3, Ep. 2, “Beautifully Broken”.  Ok, y’all know the drill:  reviews…muse…so:  what did you think?**

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52 thoughts on “Sookie Takes Charge, Ch. 19

  1. Pingback: STC, Ch. 19, for your viewing pleasure | Addicted to Godric…& Eric…& Andre

  2. So nice to see actual growth in them both and see some old scars start to heal over. Now to see some from Eric too once he gets that novel Godric wrote him….that would be pretty friggin funny if Godric was Fate LOL!!!

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  3. Great to see an update,hopefully your migraine will go away!
    Loved the line you used from S3,I really do hope that these two decide to get to know each other.
    Now it’s seems that they live in the same neighberhood!
    Coincidence or not? Who knows!?
    Be well.
    Jackie69

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  4. Living in the same neighborhood, that’s awesome! Godric as Fate would be priceless. Happy to see Sookie admit that neither she nor Eric really knew the other. It’s time for them to introduce themselves to each other!
    Slightly worried about what took Godric so long to write and Eric’s reaction to reading it…

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  5. The trust you place in someone’s something irreplaceable. If that trust is lost, it becomes ever recover completely. You always have that distrust in the back of your mind.We forgive, but not forget.

    Is really sad that Sookie can make this question and the answer is affirmative: Would Eric be able to throw me to the wolves to eat to achieve his goals?

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  6. Sorry about your migraine- hope you’ll feel better soon. Sookie not only takes charge bur is growing up too – now for Eric to ‘man’ (or would that be ‘vampire’?) up. Great job as always

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  7. I’m so glad she listened to what Godric said and is going to give Eric a chance. It’s very exciting that Godric took some blame. I’m curious how Eric will react to the mega letter. They live close hmmm maybe they could have sleepovers 😉

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  8. Sorry about your migraine. I know just how nasty those can be! I hope you feel better soon.

    ”One minute you lie to me the next you ask me to trust you.” Ugh. That old bullshit. I know it’s a quote, but it frustrates me because it’s just NOT true. He lied about “dying” from the bullets in Dallas (after he took them to save her life) and he told her in Russell”s mansion that she meant nothing to him – but that’s pretty much it. 2 lies. Now he didn’t tell her his plan to save HER from Russell and in not doing so, it meant that he and Russell fed from her without permission – that’s his worst offense. And it’s a BAD one, but he did NOT actually lie to her – he just didn’t tell her the plan.

    Sookie believes he’s a liar and a manipulator because BEEHL’s a liar and a manipulator and used his blood to influence her against Eric. It ticked me off in TB both times she accused Eric of lying repeatedly. (Both here and when she broke up with both Eric and Bill because she “didn’t want to hurt anyone” – so she hurt everyone. ugh. But that’s another rant. Lol)

    Anyway. I hope your Sookie will eventually come to see that, but I’m not sure you’re going that way. This story seems to be more about forgiving and rebuilding trust.

    By the way, none of this means that I’m not enjoying your story, because I AM – tremendously! It’s just kind of a sore point for me about TB and using this quote kind of poked the bear. 😉 Thanks for the lovely chapter. I can’t wait to find about what’s in Godrics’s letter.

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  9. Excellent chapter , mmhmmm Sookie starting to have doubts in penning her book . Loving Godric and his wise words .

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  10. Godric pointing out the obvious –that if Sookie has grown and changed, maybe Eric has as well? Between Mr. C, Godric and “Fate” –yeah…I think Sookie and the Viking are being pushed together…hopefully Sookie hasn’t been away too long –I guess we’ll find out!
    Pat

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  11. Sookie worries me sometimes. I was so engrossed in your chapter my brain reverted back to canon Sookie and was afraid she wouldn’t give him a chance. Luckily you are writing this so I do know that all will end well with our favorite couple. I wonder how long she’s been away. I’m thinking a really long time if we are going by the show’s timeline of how long she was in Fae. Great chapter! You are a wonderful writer. I got lost in the story. 🙂

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  12. Jackie69: Thank you! Yeah, migraines are nasty. This set? is being caused by barometric crap so they’re around till the weather changes considerably. Boo! I go AU so quickly that I rarely get to use actual quotes/scenes from the show so it’s nice when I can. 😀 (No comment on Godric/Fate…but it’s a really nice concept…)

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  13. mom2goalies: I’m loving the concept of Godric/Fate! 😀 And Eric and Sookie really didn’t know each other before. There’d never been time enough for them to even just sit down and have a conversation… 😦 But it’s time for them to get to know each other now, so there’s that. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Especially since I’m pretty sure Bill doesn’t have the balls to interfere any more as they seemed to have been zapped away! Lol

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  15. cari1973: It is, and that’s one of the difficulties I’m having with this story. The premise being that he (painfully) violated and broke what trust there had been between himself and Sookie means that there can’t be any simple fixes. She might can come to understand his reasonings and thereby eventually forgive him, but forget? I know *I* couldn’t.

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  16. shoegirl01: She is; she’s starting to see beyond her own experiences now to realize that other people see things in other ways and that they have other things that they have to be concerned with, too. Eric wrote his heart out to Godric in that letter, listing every single thing that happened from being forced to sell V by his own queen all the way to what happened with Russell and Sookie, everything, no holds barred. That had to have been painful for him to do, but it needed to come out so he could deal with it. Go Eric! (Barometric pressure changes are a bitch to my head.)

    Liked by 1 person

  17. mindyb781: Lol @ sleepovers! 😀 Love it! Godric is, to an extent, culpable because of his choosing to NOT be around any longer. Granted there’s a whole slew of things that go along with it, but he’s mature and wise enough to see it. He’s a good guy, lol. 😀

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  18. You have no idea the joy I get when a story update notification comes in, when I saw it was a STC update there may have been a squeal. So happy to see Sookie listening to Godric, and now so freakin excited for the Sookie / Eric chat. (BTW still hoping we figure out a way to allow Eric to live in Fairy

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  19. switbo: Lol, I love when I poke bears! 😀 I see Sookie’s constant distrust of Eric being directly caused by Bill’s blood-influence on her. If a vampire can use their blood to influence a person’s emotions, why wouldn’t he? Bill knew that he didn’t deserve Sookie, knew that he’d gone into their relationship under false pretenses, so he used his blood to keep her “enthralled” with him as best he could, and also used his blood to keep Sookie from truly seeing Eric, too. I believe that his blood could instill a feeling of distrust in Sookie that “activated” whenever she thought of Eric, and he abused that ability as much as he could. (I mean, if someone had to choose between Bill and Eric, yeah, which would THEY automatically choose?? —and Bill knew that.)

    The problem is that unless another vampire realizes what went on (and why would they), there’s no way that Sookie would be able to see that her distrust for Eric was caused in such a way. Bill’s certainly not going to admit it (unless it “oopses” out somehow).

    Sookie has been in Fairy long enough for Bill’s blood to no longer have an effect on her system now. Between time and “fairy light water”, she’s clean. Her memories, of course, remain, and naturally she’s going to have a huge and justifiable distrust of Eric now because of the Russell thing that will take some time to get around, but 99.9% of the blood crap is gone now. Both vampires are doing good to even sense her presence, but the ability to control her emotions is long gone. (Eric’s growing emotional connection to Sookie might help to somewhat reactivate his ancient blood, but Bill’s all-but a baby-vamp…his weak-ass’d blood is gone so long…) *yes, I’m grinning evilly here*

    Now Sookie has the chance to truly get to know who Eric actually is…and Eric now has a chance to truly get to know who Sookie actually is…sans Bill’s perverted involvement.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. lorip100: She is, and that might be a good thing. She’d be better off writing a fairer “this is just how things are” book than something bashing the entire species. That’s one thing I do love about Godric – he’s wise. That appeals to me greatly. Glad you liked it!

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  21. duckbutt60: Mr. C is a great character…an awesome right-hand dae… And Godric? I love when he gets to lay down (gently) some facts, too. 😀

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  22. gyllene: I torry…didn’t mean to bring on any CanonSookie flashbacks. To keep it realistic, though, I did have to pay homage to how she used to be because she still has her memories and previous conceptions to have to work through. But Godric has reminded her that people can change, they can grow up, and they can expand their understanding past what they know of themselves. Love that you got lost in the story though! Go me!! 😀 Thanks! (She wasn’t gone too long…I’m nicer than CH and The Powers That Suck combined…)

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Tracey Dalton: Yay!! I’m very glad to hear it!! 😀 My Sookies are smarter and know when to listen to wise ancient (gorgeous) vamps… 😀

    The main thing I love about writing my own stories is that I am in charge of their entire universe (evil grin).
    The main challenging aspect is that I have this strange addiction to keeping things…realistic. I have to make ME believe that this/that is actually possible, that it’s something I can see doing/happening/being realistic – even/especially when it concerns the paranormal – or it won’t work.
    (Being a Common-Sense Taurus with an over-active imagination isn’t always fun and games, lmao!)

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  24. Meridian – thanks for the fabulous response! iI read and commented this morning and I was already in a bad mood because of my youngest missing the school bus, but later this afternoon I started to worry that you take it the wrong way, so I’m glad I didn’t offend you because that was certainly not my intention! 😁

    Yes – that’s exactly it. In my opinion, ScumBill definitely used his blood to prejudice Sookie against Eric. No doubt he pushed fear and distrust at her every time Eric was around or was the topic of conversation, but frigging AB and TB always treated Eric like a villain and he never protests when Sookie accuses him of repeatedly lying to her. And it always pissed me off! You’d think at one point, he’d challenge her to think about it and actually iterate the times he’s lied to her. If she actually put any dang thought into it, she’d realize that he’s almost never done it! Even the time in Russell’s when he told her cared nothing for her was probably because Russell was more than likely listening to their ccnversation and he could hardly admit to caring about and giving Russell ammunition.

    Your response gives me hope though that your Sookie will figure it out sooner or later. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

    On a side note, I was browsing People Magazine’s “101 Sexiest Men Alive” issue in the grocery store line today and our lovely Askars was in there!

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  25. switbo: Oh hey, no worries – I’m pretty much always “pro nice discussion”. (And something happening first thing in the freakin’ morning that can put your entire day out of whack can absolutely kill your mood unless pounds of chocolate and gallons of coffee are applied STAT! And, well, a nap, too…)

    I’d love to have seen Eric *EVEN ONCE* ask Sookie to prove to him when he lied to her other than at Russell’s compound for her own protection and during the bullets/blood thing which was, in a side-ways way, for her protection as well (the action…not the lying, lol). Omit? Sure…there was a ton of omission, but then, he never once said he’d tell her everything, and Bill sure as hell didn’t. So how was Eric supposedly this horrendous lying liar of ALL THE LYING LIES?? *head desk*

    Heh, I hope Suddenly: ASKARS! helped make your day at least a little bit better! 😀

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  26. I love it, as usual, and I’m glad she’s going to give getting to know the real Eric a chance. 🙂

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  27. I don’t know how I missed this update! I loved the G/S talk. I am laughing at E/S being neighbors. Wonder if he will ask to borrow some ‘sugar’ lol. Hoping very desperately that G will find a way to come to visit w/E. They could both use the face to face. While I am looking forward to S going to visit E, I will be waiting impatiently to find out what is in the letter.

    Hoping for the elements to be nice to you so you feel better soon!

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  28. Exactly! But, that’s why we have all the lovely fan fiction. To help us recover from the mockery that was TB and last 4 or so books of CH. Lol.

    And “Suddenly: ASKARS!” always makes my day better! 😜

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  29. it was a great talk and i am sure many revelations for Sookie to think on, lets hope she gives the big Viking the opportunity to talk to her and spill his emotional guts to her. looking forward to more. KY

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  30. missingjasamalways: WP has been playing footsie with itself instead of sending out some notifications here lately – do hope they’ve gotten over it by now! And you gotta know that one of my first thoughts was about one of them “borrowing sugar” from the other, lmao! As I am the queen of making all good wishes come (unrealistically) true (while trying to keep it as realistic as possible…yeah, that part gives me headaches sometimes…), something good will happen on the G/E seeing each other front…maybe (hey, gotta try for SOME drama here…sorta…). Thanks – it finally rained last night and my head isn’t trying to convince me that I need a life spent wasting away in my comfy bed for once. Yay!! Maybe I can get that next chapter of EN: ATS out now?

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  31. kleannhouse: Thank you! I adore Godric; he makes sense, and he has such a strong presence that Sookie just HAS to listen to him and give his words merit. One of the reasons I like writing E/S is that I can give Sookie more brains and emotional courage (they were hard to instill considering her originating characterizations…), so, yeah, she’ll listen. Failing all else that yummy Viking can give some awesome puppy eyes! 😀

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  32. murgatroid98: Thanks! In my head canon for this particular fic, I’m seeing that the loss of Godric, especially via suicide, affected Eric far more deeply than anyone realized, especially Eric himself. I can see that he’d have been basically just going through the motions in something of a mental fog and therefore missed so many hints and clues (QSA/selling V, Russell, the Magister/Nan/Authority, everything) that led up to the Russell fiasco. To me, had he not been so affected his natural intelligence/intuition would have picked up on those things and he’d have been able to find far better ways of handling all those situations. (My Viking’s extremely intelligent, not infallible, but hella smarter than TB wanted to portray him.) (But just as sexy…) 😀

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  33. galwidanatitud: YES!!! “Hey, Sook, come’ere – LISTEN TO THIS AWESOME GAL – SHE HAS GREAT ADVICE!” Heh, this is exactly why I write Sookies – gotta make’er smarter… 😀 (And I adore writing Godric – he’s the perfect “wise character” to have around at appropriate times, lol……….well, that’s the public reason…)

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  34. Pingback: Updates 9-6-15 | Fanfiction Minions

  35. I have to say they are all in the right. Godric shouldn’t have left, but he didn’t know what was to come. Eric shouldn’t have treated her that way, but at the same time he was trying to save ALL their lives and didn’t have much choice. Sookie never talks with anyone, she always reacts, but she did have huge quantities of Comptons blood influencing her as well as a lot of stuff thrown at her in days that most don’t deal with in years.

    Great job touching base on all of these!

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  36. Kittyinaz: Thanks! I wanted to show how that finale event came about from the series of situations that preceded it. At each stage someone was responsible for actions that eventually led to the final deal, and as much as I adore Godric, it’s true that if he’d been around from the start things wouldn’t have gone south like they did. But even so, Eric made choices that led to it, and in a way so did Sookie.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Of course Godric would blame himself for the whole Russell situation. It certainly would have been very different if Godric had still been alive and surely Russell would have thought twice about taking both Godric and Eric on in a fight. And of course Godric would never have allowed Sookie to be used as a pawn in that way. But I am glad that Sookie is taking into consideration that Eric may have changed just as she has. Smart vampire, that Godric.

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  38. ladytarara: Right? Judging from the four seconds of airtime he got, I could absolutely see Godric being the kind to see himself and his actions/inactions as being the cause of all the bad that went down because in reality if he *had* been around, regardless of Eric’s choices he logically *could* have done this/that to have prevented it. Along with getting Sookie some justice in this story, I wanted to show the characters growing up emotionally, and accepting “his part” of the blame for what all went down after he chose to off himself is part of Godric’s growth. That being said, he IS a wise ol’ coot… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

Ahh, you found me. Meridian and I don't know why they stuck me all the way down here, but do you see that "Comment" box below me? Yeah, that one... Use it!

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