Hep V? Hep Don’t.

.aEric Hep v

Eric tossed the permi-markers onto the bathroom counter and surveyed his handiwork in the mirror one final time.   Pleased with the results, he brushed his hair back, then winked at his reflection.

“Lookin’ good,” he proclaimed in his signature lazy drawl before shaking his head at such foolishness.

He wasn’t back in the States just to exercise his particular brand of off-humor, even though it did sneak in from time to time.

Then his face fell. Seeing the look on Sookie’s face when she spotted his Hep V markings had broken his heart even more than he’d thought it might.   When he’d first come up with this scheme, his sources had told him that the telepath was involved with the Werewolf, so he wasn’t too bothered by whatever reaction she might have…until he saw her.

It was as if they had never parted and a portion of his soul, an area he hadn’t even realized was closed, had suddenly, and painfully, opened.

He shook his head and refocused his wandering thoughts.   Every time he thought about Sookie his brain acted as if he really were infected!

Eric’s thoughts then turned to another type of infection: Pam’s jealousy. She was driving him nuts! He knew he should feel bad for not telling her the truth, but with her mouth these nights, it was far better that she didn’t know. He was also unsure as to just how far he could trust her. She probably wouldn’t ruin his plans, but he hadn’t been able to trust her fully since the Sookie incident outside the witches’ store, and he wasn’t about to start now.

After forcing his suddenly-erupted fangs to retract, he strode into the den of his safe-house in the backwaters past Bon Temps and sat down on the comfortable sofa to wait for Pam to eventually arrive. He clicked on the late-afternoon news and tossed the remote to the side, then leaned his head against the back of the couch and slipped into downtime…after snickering once again at how “difficult” it had been for him to knock a few holes in Fangtasia’s wall knowing that Pussypire Beehl would puff out his mooby chest and “do the job” himself.

Getting a sunburn atop a snowy peak was admittedly one of the stupidest things he’d ever done, but he couldn’t truly fault himself, not completely. After the mess with Russell Mark 2, the Authority shit, the Billith fiasco, and then the soon-to-be-dead Governor’s War on Vamps, not to mention a certain telepath’s determination to be as stupid as hybridly possible, he wasn’t surprised that even his vampire brain needed a break.

While he was recovering from said sunburn, he had touched base frequently with his contacts in several areas for comprehensive updates. Then he had reviewed his options, planned his strategies, and read up on all the international news he could find. He had properties in a dozen countries aside from his holdings in the States and his ‘windy shithole’ chalet, and knowing the political leanings of each place was mandatory for both his finances and his safety. It seemed vompires were still quite the rage these nights. Interesting…

He also knew that Pam had not been looking for him all that hard or it wouldn’t have taken her damn near six months to find him. Even though he had released her, he could still sense her through the remnants of their Maker/Child bond and knew that if she had stopped thinking about herself for a full minute she would still be able to sense him, too.

When he had felt her slow, obviously dallying approach, he had grabbed the already-purchased permi-markers and headed to the bathroom mirror. After decorating himself appropriately, he had hidden the markers, drank from his attendants, then glamoured them into believing that he was not only infected but that he had been steadily declining.

Once Pam had finally arrived in all her “OMG, you’re sick!” glory, he had swung his plans into motion all the while perfecting his already incredible acting skills, and Pam had bought it hook, line, and sinker. And if Pam – who supposedly knew him so well – would fall for his act, he was positive Bill Fucking Compton would, too.

Now that his head was clear, his heart was healed, and his body was no longer crispy, he had a bone to pick with that motherfucking mini-prick wanna-be goddess.

Fuck Sarah Newlin – he had smaller balls to fry.   He’d drain that bitch later.

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*A/N: While I never say never, I really and truly do NOT see this going anywhere else – what you see is probably what you’re gonna get, but I just wanted to put my partial spin on Ep. 4 of this final season of True Suck. Thank you for reading!*

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47 thoughts on “Hep V? Hep Don’t.

  1. Pingback: Hep V? Hep Don’t: My 711-Word Fun with True Suck, 7×4 | Addicted to Godric…& Eric…& Andre

  2. Yes I agree with you what happen in Sunday’s episode will be the only Eric/Sookie interaction we’ll ever get in the whole season so I’m not keeping my hopes high but I must say I enjoyed the flashbacks of Ginger very much…keep writing these genius stories of yours…Take care

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  3. I loved this!! I love how your write Eric..You just seem to make him pop from the page! His musings make me grin. Truly, they do!! Love it when you post a one-shot, but it always, always makes me want MORE!! 😀

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  4. Pingback: New Posts 7/14/14 | Fanfiction Minions

  5. This is too good to leave at that… hint hint. I can just imagine a naughty ‘school sick’ Eric annoying the hell out of Sookie with thermometers in ice baths, incessant whiny demands how she didn’t cut the crusts off the blood properly, how that flea infested afghan itches like hell, has she never heard of cashmere? Look I’ll even fork over the cash to replace those stinky markers with a set of transfer tattoos so Eric can use that creative brain of his to channel it on further hilarious deceptions. Please, can we have some more? *flutters her eyelashes like a maniac* Pretty please?

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  6. I could only hope that is what Eric is up to. Sookie might be pissed until she finds out why, but I liked the reunion last Sunday.

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  7. I totally agree – I truly loved seeing the E/S parts this last Sunday night, but am sorely afraid that THAT is the best we’re going to get of any sort of E/S…ever. It’s taking everything I have to keep my wee shipper heart from falling for what I’m calling a hope scam.

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  8. Loved it Just think if they employed people like you back in Season 3 maybe True Suck wouldn’t have.

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  9. Smaller balls to fry! LOL! I loved this little spin–very Eric. Now–I’m not going to beg for me—-but please? Actually, I have to say that I could see this being a foundation for a wonderful story. 🙂

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  10. californiakat: Thank you gorgeous! I can absolutely see “devious Eric” doing this…and it backfiring royally in his face yet still accomplishing his primary goals.

    (Psst: Don’t tell anyone but I do have a few ideas in mind, but I never want to give readers false hope that a story will come zipping right along when in reality it will probably be months before it sees any real movement. My hold-ups? Time and energy, lol.

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  11. thevikingskittykat: Awww, thanks!! I have a secret suspicion that they’ve been scanning the fic world since, oh, I dunno…the ending of Season 2 for ideas on what NOT to do lest they make the show BETTER…because there really are some AWESOME fics out there. Beehl’s looking like he’s had some, um, “work” done, yeah…

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  12. Jackie69: Thank you! I have a feeling Sunday’s ep was engineered to keep the E/S shippers from jumping ship mid-season, but I have to admit: I ain’t falling for it. It was great seeing them in the same room together again, though! 😀

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  13. mommy4thomas2002: Awww, thanks!! I’m always absolutely convinced that I don’t write him well so it’s great to hear that he does come off sounding like ERIC would. 😀

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  14. hisviks: And he’d need his nails buffed and that last cup of blood was too hot and now it’s too cold and what is UP with the cable in BFE Bon Temps anyway and has she never even HEARD of fabric softener for that scratchy afghan???

    LOL!!! (*Psst: there may be mention down in the replies of a possible potential continuation at a later date, but no holding breath, please…) 😀

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  15. Vikingsrule: Thank you!! Ohhh, man, I could have had SO much fun writing Season 3 onward… I’d have found a “realistic” way of bringing Godric back…**wanders off into a Fixing TB daydream, bbl*

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  16. Yep – it really annoys me that the can’t see that to survive 1,000 years throughout medieval times, wars, famine etc. etc. you would need to have developed some incredibly good survival skills and a little hep-D virus is nothing to a creature that has survived a millenium… Also it makes no bloody sense that the guy spent +900 years not loving anyone (outside of maker & co) and then suddenly in the 80s there is Sylvie and ‘just’ 25 years later there is Sookie… Without even taking into account that how everything was set out in Season 4 and earlier, Eric’s feelings for Sookie were portrayed as a totally unprecedented development. Surely Eric (or Nora? she seemed to have remarked on his bro’s feelings for Sookie and again as a total novelty?) would have made a connection back then? Ugh shitty TB writing….

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  17. redjane12: Yeah, that whole Sylvie mess came out of the blue – they totally dropped the continuity ball on that one.

    It makes a lot more sense for Eric to have fallen for Sookie what with being lured in at first by her fairy scent, then falling for her (sorry, laughing over here) personality. Welllll, *parts* of her personality at any rate. I could see the Sookie fling, but not the Sylvie one, not really. Now, if Sylvie had been, say, 100+ years in the past, maaaaaybe…

    But 1000+ year old vamps don’t just arbitrarily fall for this and that human within decades of each other, and they don’t just Oopsie into a Hep disease either. That’s just shitty HBO/TB at its “best”.

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  18. I’m sensing things aren’t all Disney in the Eric Pam world. Nicely written. Looking forward to reading Eric in action.

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  19. eaaustin85: 😀 Thank you!! Never saying never but never saying not, either…totally depends on time and inspiration, lol. Thanks for reading!

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  20. Eric being perfectly healthy and scheming is proof that he is alright. Let’s see what this next episode brings before we believe your awesomeness won’t come up with something equally as awesome.

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