On following the light of thought as far as it will go

Letting go of all I’ve held on to…aka changing my mind

I’d meant to meander on about coincidences and signs and such, because they seem to play such a large part in my life, but instead, as with the BEST laid plans…

Ever notice how your principles are rock solid, I mean, CARVED in freakin’ STONE…till someone says something, maybe you happen to catch just a part of someone else’s conversation totally out of context…and you “get thinking”…

There are times in your life when the only thing you’ve GOT are your principles, your most basic, most fundamental values and truths, and maybe they are the only things that lock you in place and keep you sane and true to yourself.

Sometimes these hallowed and revered most basic truths that you’ve grown and developed and distilled through all the teenaged-angst bullshit…that you’ve managed to hone down to a fine, brilliant point despite all the bullshit you had to sit and listen to in college…sometimes you have to wonder if your most basic truths are in fact…holding you back, that maybe they’re keeping you from seeing even MORE in the universe.

You cling tightly in self-righteous defiance of the world to your thoughts and ideals. You brandish them like an illuminated, divine shield against the madness of the world, the insanity of daily life, and you feel good, saintly even, for fighting the good fight…you have your ideals and your basic mantra and dammit, you’ll NEVER EVER change for ANYONE or ANYTHING because you’ve got it all figured out and it’s YOUR world and you just KNOW that you’re right.

Then one fine day, in that totally unexpected way like falling in love or crashing your car, you hear a little phrase, a snippet of someone ELSE’s conversation, meet someone totally unlike yourself but you have this “connection” and…boom!!!

There goes your whole foundation.

There goes your carved-in-bedrock, totally undefeatable “I’ll die before I change my way of thinking” fortress against the world. Suddenly, the whole universe looms large and proud and cold and dark and fascinating like the twinkle of diamonds on a dagger sort of way.

So…what do you do? You’re suddenly no longer locked to the world, held in safe place by the imagined superiority of your own beliefs. You start… thinking… wondering… what if? How? Why? Who said so and what does it have to do with ME?????

Do you keep looking inward to the old and dusty but trusty ideas you’ve always clung so tightly to, or do you look OUTWARDS, glancing toward the light as long and as far as your eyes will dare, desperate for truth and knowledge and just a glimpse of forever?

Do you have the courage to rethink all you’ve thought, to toss all your ideals and preconceptions and inclinations to the four winds and calmly watch to see where they land?

Do you have the raw courage needed sometimes to just ask WHY? Or why NOT?

I try not to get bogged down in that mire of “well, if I change my mind, does that mean that I was wrong before, or does it mean that I’m being wrong now” crap.

Time is so incredibly precious, so important to how things develop that you don’t want to waste it on something so pathetically useless as self-doubt or over-introspection. Just do it already! Dare to think, re-think, change your mind, dare to follow the light of thought as far as it will go, as far as it’ll take you. I promise it’ll be an interesting journey.










Ahh, you found me. No clue why they stuck me ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, but see that "Comment" box? Have at it!

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