The Revealing of Andre, Chapter 39

“So change me.”

Emma blinked a couple of times as she leaned back and stared up into Andre’s handsome face in confusion. Why was he making such a big deal over this – the answer was so simple!

Andre shook his head, certain he hadn’t heard Emma far too calmly suggest that he Turn her.

Didn’t she realize what…

Turning someone wasn’t just…

Fuck, being Turned wasn’t something…

Of course she didn’t understand – he’d never truly discussed it with her.

Fuck.

“What?” Maybe he hadn’t heard her correctly after all – that would make the most sense. Surely she didn’t just…he felt as through he were free-falling through space and time or something…

“If you change me, then those pissy little bastards won’t have anything to bitch about, will they? So, the logical thing to do would be to change me, right?”  Her face showed her slight anger over the threat but mostly her pride in her reasoning.

“No,” he growled surprisingly loudly but forced his expression to remain neutral as he didn’t want her to know his fucking brain had apparently stopped functioning.

When had the world turned upside-down – was it during the daysleep?

Mostly, however, he wondered why in the hell he was refusing to grant his Emma the one thing he most wanted to give her.

His ensuing silence and the impassive look on his face tore at Emma’s heart and quickly made her question their entire relationship. She had just offered to let him to Turn her for fuck’s sake!  Didn’t he realize all that would entail?  She wasn’t talking penny-ante poker here…

“Wait, what? Why not?” Her eyes grew huge and his heart broke when her lower lip trembled. “You don’t want me to be a vampire?”

Her quiet, small voice broke the impassivity he was trying so hard to maintain.

With hands sure and strong, he quickly lifted and turned her until she faced him then sat her down straddling his lap. As he considered his words, he ran his palms up and down her thighs, and begrudged the thin cotton of her lounge pants.

Finally, as one fat tear spilled from her eye, he took her face between his hands and squarely met her heartbroken, and heartbreaking, gaze.

“Emma, with every part of my being I want you to become vampire,” he confirmed, his voice low but firm. “Not one night has passed when I haven’t dreamed of Turning you, of ensuring that you will have life everlasting, of knowing that you would then be safe from the weakness of your human body. The thought of someone hurting you or taking your life…the thought of losing you to time…”

His eyes rimmed in red as his voice broke, and he quickly looked away as his arms about her tightened and drew her to his chest.

Knowing his pride, Emma refrained from saying anything while he regained his composure. Instead she rested her head on his shoulder and slipped her arms around his broad back. With a sniff she buried her nose in the crook of his neck, and waited.

His admission had healed the small break threatening her heart, but she wanted to hear what else he had to say. Maybe he would tell her why he was refusing what he now said he wanted?

Andre forced himself to calm the fuck down. He was, as she put it, an “antique vamp” – not a babe still in the nursery, so the fucking tears had to fucking go already. Besides, “not yet” sure as hell didn’t mean “not ever”. Just because now was the worst possible time to even consider Turning her (outside of a direct emergency, of course), it sure as fuck didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen someday, especially now that she’d sealed her fate by offering.

But how do I…

Fuck this shit…just fucking roll with it…

“How do I tell you that you are my life and as such, there is no way in hell I would ever choose to live without you? How do I tell you that right now is the worst possible time to even think of Turning you, that the newly-Turned require constant care and supervision for years after they rise? How do I tell you that when I Turn you, and yes,” his voice lowered, his tone sending shivers down her back as though the notes of his voice were caressing her spine, “ma chérie, I will be Turning you one night, make no mistake…but, it will only happen once you are truly ready.”

He tilted her face up enough to graze his lips against hers a few times before almost reverently deepening his kiss. Strongly resisting the temptation to fuck the conversation in lieu of fucking the love of his unlife, he shuddered then raised his head. He needed to say these words, and now.

“There is much I need to teach you of our world before I bring you into it and there will be things you would wish to do before then, and preparations you would want to make as well. All these things will take time, much more time than we have at our current disposal.”

Emma started to speak, but Andre didn’t trust himself to veer back to the topic at hand if his concentration was sidetracked.

So, with a light touch to her lips, he continued, “Later, cher. Let me say these words first.” The understanding warmth in her brown eyes momentarily softened his features.

“Before I Turn you, I need to get through this fucking coronation bullshit, get my kingdom settled, get you installed as my queen, shore up the state, appoint a security detail worthy of your defense, and…and I need to call home my Child.”

The widening of her eyes would have been almost comedic if the state of his weren’t resting so precariously on her reaction.

“Your…your Child? You hadn’t said anthi…when do I meet him? Her?”

He couldn’t believe it. He saw no wariness, only surprise and excitement in her expression. Granted she didn’t know the circumstances that had caused said Child…

“Him. His name is Aillard. If he had more names I never knew them. Ah,” he paused, dread filling his heart at seeing the love for him falling from her face, but he could not keep this from her. She deserved better than that.

After a hard swallow he continued, and refused to meet her gaze. “Em, there is something you should know about me, and about him.”

The silence following that ominous statement intrigued, then scared, Emma.   She knew her Andre. She knew he was a very complicated individual, and she knew his reputation in the Palace. She also knew of his previous “proclivities” and she knew he had given up that “part-time hobby”, too. When she had first starting spending time in Queen Sophie-Anne’s court, the Palace gossips had been thrilled to find a new ear to fill with all the information they’d felt chilling, titillating, or just plain interesting enough to share, so she knew more about her Andre than he realized.

However, she also knew that he showed her a gentleness, even a tenderness, foreign to that reputation, and she sincerely appreciated the consideration and respect with which he treated her. She knew to trust her heart, and her heart recognized that, to her at least, he was a damn good guy who would never knowingly harm her.

For whatever reason, Andre was obviously having a hard time telling her about this Aillard situation, so she placed her hand on his chest in support. She would listen, but she would also hear what he had to say, and go from there.

Sometimes, shit just happens.

“Bluntly, I tortured him for several nights until I discovered that he was innocent. By that time he was so far gone that I wasn’t sure if even my blood would save him, but he didn’t deserve to die because of my lack of information. I was cruel, brutal, to him in my quest for information, but he was tough, very tough, and courageous.”

Lost in a memory for a moment, he snorted. “And fucking stubborn. He was innocent of the crime he had been betrayed of committing, but even considering my tender mercies, he steadfastly refused to name anyone who would also have been innocent, not even to avoid more torture.”

He gave thanks to the universe that her hand remained on his chest. That small act helped him to continue his sordid confession.

“When I discovered his innocence, I did something I had never done before. I gave him my vein. Three nights later, he rose. Very quickly thereafter I discovered that he had no wish to become vampire, but by then, the deed was done. In my guilt and inexperience, I hadn’t realized how much of my blood he had taken until after he had fallen unconscious. When I felt a strange bond forming between us, I didn’t immediately realize that it was the bond that forms between a Maker and their Child.  Eventually I did recognize it for what it was, and then realized what I had done.  So, with a heavy heart I had him taken to a light-safe room in case he completed the transformation. He did, and so I have a Child.”

As he stated the obvious in a voice devoid of emotion, he realized with amazement that Emma hadn’t run screaming to the other side of the room. Hell, she hadn’t even tensed up, and he would know as he had been keeping a part of his mind tuned to her reactions. Her heartbeat and respiration were a bit more rapid than normal, but the muscles of her thighs resting atop his were as relaxed as they had been before he started.

Her hand still rested lightly on his chest.

Although he still couldn’t bear to look into her face, he did allow himself to relax somewhat.

“He should never have been questioned, much less tortured, Em. Never. But I failed to verify my information and instead believed the word of one who was sloppy in their own research. Because of our failures, because of my failures, he suffered some of my best work,” he said with a painfully ironic laugh. “Aillard is a good man. He should never have been brought to my attention, much less should he have suffered at my hands. He should never have died, and he should never have been Turned.  We do not get along…well, and why would we?  I had not wanted a Child, and he had not wanted to be made vampire, yet he became the Child of his torturer, and I became the Maker to my victim.”

Emma sat straddling his lap in stunned silence. The grief and remorse he felt were obvious on his face – he wouldn’t even meet her eyes – and she couldn’t imagine what all else he was feeling as he told the horrible story. Somehow she was sure that while she’d been told the truth, it was a massively abbreviated version…and that was fine.

She didn’t need to know the particulars to see how terrible the situation had been, and how badly Andre still felt about it.  She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hold him tight and tell him that it was going to be ok, that she loved him any way, that sometimes shit just happens, and that she would like to meet his Child if he ever did come around.

And so she did.

**A/N:  So…there’s part of “the conversation” out of the way.  What did you think of Emma’s offer?  Of Andre’s refusal?**

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29 thoughts on “The Revealing of Andre, Chapter 39

  1. Pingback: A SUGGESTION AND A CHAPTER (ANDRE) | Addicted to Godric…& Eric…& Andre

  2. I think it’s awesome all around. He told her why, but that he WILL turn her. And she listened to him. And listened to him bearing his heart to her. Great job, milady!!

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  3. Offered for the right reasons; refused for the right reasons! It’s all good 😉
    And Emma’s reaction to Andre’s confession” doesn’t surprise me in the least 😀 She seems to have a calm and loving reaction to most of his revelations!

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  4. i’m glad he didn’t just shut her down….just giving her the time and opportunity to really be certain for something that can never be taken back. good for Andre.

    excellent chapter!

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  5. I was a little perplexed right along with Andre that Emma didn’t put up a ‘they should just accept me for what I am’ argument, or some other lovely tirade against the Supes and their hierarchy… and since the jury’s still out (as in why won’t you f-ing tell me already ARGH!) on Emma’s mystery origins I figured Turning her was a delayed proposal anyhow, it’s rather entertaining how go with the flow she is and can just love and support him and be done with it without immediately thinking the worst of him… *paging a certain telepath to sit up and take notice*

    So Aillard… are we adding another ‘…&’ to your site title?

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  6. ericluver: Andre doesn’t realize it but Emma knows a lot more about him than she’s letting on – she’s just giving him the freedom to be who he wants to be with her rather than making him feel as though he has to fit some preconceived notions. She also has the grace to understand that she can love the man but hate the situation. And you’re exactly right: both the offer and the negation were done for the right reasons. Glad you liked it!

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  7. galwidanatitud: Awww, thank you! Poor Andre, he knew the time had come to spill some words, and spill them he did! (Plus I don’t think Emma would have let him get away with shutting her out…she can have a bit of a temper, lol) 😀 Glad you liked it!

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  8. hisviks: Lol, Emma knows a bit more about Andre (and his past) than she’s letting on – Palace people will gossip… – so she’s not as “in the dark” as he might want to believe that she is, but from what she already knows about him, she’s not as shocked as he may have feared. Plus not only is she a “hate the situation but love the person” kind of gal, but she also could tell from his expression (and sometimes lack thereof) and his voice how deeply this had affected him. And unless you’re a certain telepath (in other people’s stories since my certain telepaths are infinitely smarter and more understanding because I detest a stupid spineless double-standard-loving word-of-the-day peeping UGH SHE GOES TO THE LIBRARY COULDN’T SHE HAVE LEARNED THOSE WORDS FROM BOOKS?? Bill-blood-suckin’ where was I going with this again?), when you truly love someone you’re going to be realistic about them but you’re also going to truly want to give them the benefit of the doubt and think kinder thoughts about them, so there’s that. 😀 And Emma’s a

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  9. Wow. Great chapter. I understand Andre’ s reluctance to turn her at this time. And, yikes, the circumstances of turning his child. I’m glad he was honest about it to Emma. Is Aillard still physically damaged? I hope not. I can see that he might have harsh feelings toward his maker. Maybe Aillard can forgive him at some point.

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  10. Andre has found something for the first time in his long existence that he is afraid of-losing Emma. This conversation is showing him she’s in it for the long haul. He will never lose the fear, but she is establishing the trust and the knowledge that telling her the truth will not make her run, but keeping her in the dark just might.

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  11. You did great! It makes me wonder what Andre would think if he knew how much more Emma knows about him. I love that he wants to wait to turn her. He wants her to be ready and not do it because they feel forced. It was a good talk between them and I have a feeling if Aillard comes that maybe Emma will help them work out their problems.

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  12. Your reply to hisviks got cut off!! Emma is a …. (Hey worth a try right? 😀)
    André has lived a brutal existence that Emma seems to accept(?) or at the very least is “judging” /seeing him according to how he is with her and friends (oh Eric where art thou?) instead of gossip.
    And as always… More please!

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  13. murgatroid98: At this point I’m not sure anything more than resignation (at best) is possible between Aillard and Andre, but then, Emma hasn’t been in the picture between them yet, either… The active hatred toward his torturer/murderer was highly understandable and quite present for a while, but Aillard is a survivor emotionally as well as physically (and he’s fine – Andre’s blood did heal him). Even in my mind Andre didn’t want to tell Emma about that situation, but he knew he had to… Thanks! I’m glad you liked it!

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  14. motomary: He really does, and it’s driving him nuts! And no matter how much he loves her, because of his past there’s still going to be that small place in his heart that “knows” he’s not worthy, not good enough, for her. And you’re right – if she’d, well, “pulled a Sookie” over what he’d told her, he’d never feel able to tell her anything else in the future, and what kind of future would that be? At least she understood the terrible situation for what it was, and now he knows that he doesn’t “need” to keep her in the dark.

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  15. gyllene: Thanks! I think in the end he’d feel a lot more at ease if he knew that she loved him even though she knew so much about him but I’m also thinking that gossipy heads would, literally, roll for that, too! And you’re right – if anyone could ease the situation between Maker and Child, it’d be Emma. Glad you liked it!

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  16. shoegirl01: *snicker* It did – hate when that happens… (Definitely worth a try, though!)
    He has, and his reputation is well-deserved, but Emma is very intelligent and intuitive. She knows to see beyond his reputation to how he actually treats her, and recognizes that he treats her very well (especially when his species and reputation are taken into consideration). Lol, there’ll be more Eric (and Sookie) in upcoming chapters, never fear! 😀 Glad you liked it!

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  17. gyllene: Heh, Andre introduces a new sport: Bowling With The Heads Of Pathetic Little Gossips.
    *He’s not especially talented in coming up with catchy names but I can’t think anyone would complain to him about it…well, not more than once…

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  18. Pingback: Updates 2-25-15 | SVM & TB Stories

  19. Let me first just say that I usually only read E/S stories but after devouring several of your fics and loving your writing style and wicked humour , I thought feck it , I’ve never read a Andre fic lets see you’ve got ……. Amazing , just absolutely brilliant page turning goodness .
    You have me loving your Andre and his deep multifaceted personality and his mysterious bonded Emma . I was well chuffed when you brought my fav couple ( E/S obviously ) into the mix but I’m concerned , although Sookie and Emma are becoming close friends I think these gifts Sookie gave her back at the start , apparently testing Emma reactions to iron/lemon may come back to bite her in the ass . How is Andre going to react when he puts all the pieces together that Sookie tested his bonded and although there was no sever reaction ( what exactly was she going to do if she had a life threatening or fatal reaction ) me thinks Andre won’t be as understanding of Mrs Northmans curiosities….. but will he take this as a threat ??
    I’ll be honest I haven’t read all the reviews for this fic ( too busy reading awesomeness ) where my concern may have been discussed but I’m looking forward to the revealing of this and other curiosities going on in story as it progresses .
    Love your stuff
    Lori

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  20. lorip100: Heh, you had me at “wicked humor” – thanks! 😀 I’m really glad you like it. It’s always a HUMONGOUS boost to my writing ego when a reader tells me that they used to detest Andre (and rightfully so, according to how he was in the books) but that my story has changed their perception of him. His character was very badly underutilized and far too one-dimensional, and my squirrelly little writer-brain wanted to know what motivated him, what made him tick.

    Now, about Sookie’s testing of Emma: Good eye! I don’t think anyone has thought of that point yet. Now…hang on while I dig around for my ominous voice. Ok, here we go: You’ll just have to wait and see… (Sorry, I had to.) Really, though, it will be dealt with at some point – remember Andre’s enhanced sense of smell (even for a vampire)? *sneaky nod*

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  21. Meridian : LOL , cracking response . I’ve thought about Andre’s super sniffing power and why he’s not registering anything other than it’s unusual scent/taste and that it has changed subtly during their time together , so I’m thinking she’s either something he’s not come across before or a unique blend of species that cancelled each others scent out ( fae/dae ) .
    It’s so much fun to speculate and with little info on Emma , her family her upbringing you could take this in so many directions , looking forward to the journey .

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  22. lorip100: *hums theme to Legends while grinning into lukewarm coffee* Lol, I love being able to speculate about things in stories – it adds to the fun and the mystery! 😀 *resumes humming…it’s not as creepy as it sounds…honest*

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Again I like the sadness / added complexity of Andre’s accidental child. It really does explain why he wants to wait / really be sure Emma understands what it means to be vampire before he turns her. Mistakes are made for us to learn from, and Andre has clearly learned from his.

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Ahh, you found me. Meridian and I don't know why they stuck me all the way down here, but do you see that "Comment" box below me? Yeah, that one... Use it!

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