Theoretical Ending for True Suck (crack-ish)

A/N: I was just chatting with some friends, and well, here:

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Eric Northman noticed an odd scent in the air…a disgusting, perverted scent he thankfully hadn’t experienced in quite a while. After another inhalation, he turned around.

“Sookie Stackh… or is it Compton now?”  His syrupy-sweet voice couldn’t hide his  contempt.

“Eric!  What are you doing here?”  Sookie was shocked!  There was Eric!  Maybe he could save the day, well, night and she could yell at him for, well, saving the night!

“For some stupid reason I had come to check on you but, according to the stench of Compton’s blood, apparently you don’t need my help.”  He paused and took a good look, not liking who and what he saw…and scented.  What did he ever see in her?

“Bluntly, come to think of it, it also appears that I deserve much better than you.”

“Whaaat,” Sookie stuttered in shock. This…this was Eric! He was supposed to always understand and let her have her excuses – he wasn’t ever supposed to call her on her shit!  Fuck!  There was no way Bill could save them all – that’s what Eric  was for!

“I can’t pretend to ignore your stupidity any longer, Sookie. I’ve tried to overlook, explain, and ignore your moronic ways, but, I just can’t do that anymore. You, my dear, are a right nasty stupid bint, and I deserve better. Hell, even my gullible and somewhat backward newest child shows more compassion and ability to learn than you do, so, yeah, later.”

With that said, Eric turned and flew into the sky to follow his bond with his youngest Child.

And Bill ate Sookie.

The End.

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**A/N: Now, please feel free to post YOUR preferred ending to True Suck in the reviews section – I can’t wait to see what you have to say!**

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52 thoughts on “Theoretical Ending for True Suck (crack-ish)

  1. Pingback: Heh, Alternate Ending for True Suck | Addicted to Godric…& Eric…& Andre

  2. How about this?

    The U.S. authorities determined in a recent study that fae portals were the cause of Hep-V and decided to raze Bon Temps, with all its inhabitants, with napal. A few months later, infected vampire stopped and have not returned to contact the Fae race.

    The End.

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  3. Just love it! I think we are all conflicted between seeing Pookie Sookie getting what she deserves and the fantasy we all hold dear of seeing a contrite Sookie and strong Eric end up together. At the moment I don’t think anything would redeem Sookie, I just hate to see Eric walk into the moon rise alone again. Maybe I could go with!
    RIP TB, you had so much unrealised potential, so many chances at greatness escaped you.
    You will be missed. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Vampires decide the Great Reveal was the worst plan ever, resulting in the decimation of their species with the manmade Hep-V. After finding a cure they glamour everyone to an inch of their life to forget they ever existed.

    That ridiculous best seller ‘And God Bled’ is the only remnant they can’t erase, apparently not even glamour can bleach the memory of Bill Compton from your mind. After too many sightings of the ‘fictional’ character Bill, who now goes by the name Bubba, he gets executed by [insert your preferred character here].

    Sookie is the only one who can’t be glamoured and trails behind desperately like a sad puppy after Eric who refuses to get screwed over twice by Sookie’s magical twinkle cave leaving an all too happy Pam to test her latest fairy snark night upon night.

    After Sookie tries to unsuccessfully convince everyone in Bon Temps vampires are real they decide “Crazy” Sookie should be put out of her misery and Rene raises from the dead to finally strangle the now brainless blonde so we finally come full circle back to season one.

    Pam and Eric travel the world, killing, fucking, and laughing.

    The End.

    Like

  5. OK. I’m really tired of the flashback scenes, but I think I just came up with one I can live with …
    Flashback to the end of season 4 when Sookie blasted Eric back from Amnesiaville:
    Nobody realized it at the time, but there was an element to the spell Eric was under, that only took effect if someone was successful in somehow breaking the primary spell. A “built-in backup plan curse” in case he got his memories back. Something that would effect his “true heart’s desire” and cloud her mind, causing her to make stupid choices and say stupid things, and not realize she was going against what she felt in her heart. Essentially changing her personality. And just to drive the knife home for our poor Viking vampire, the magic words he had to utter in order to activate the backup spell were …. wait for it ………
    “I love you.”

    So … my ending would be Niall somehow getting Sookie and Eric alone and magically showing them the truth, thereby knocking some sense into Sookie. And then showing her that her fairy gifts will enable her to heal Eric from the Hep V. (Of course she would only be able to do this for one vampire.).
    And then she smartens the hell up and realizes that Eric is the only man she has been involved with who truly supports her and loves her for who she is. And they both decide to take a chance at happiness together. *sigh*
    The End
    XO

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  6. Sookie wakes up to the smell of bacon cooking and goes into the kitchen and sees a human Eric at the stove cooking breakfast. Eric says “Good you’re up.” and Sookie faints….

    The End…..

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  7. vondax55: Thank you, and I totally agree. It’s so sad to see what COULD have been an awesome show just tank like that, and it’s like it was on purpose, too. I used to care about Sookie but now she’s written so badly that I really…don’t. I just want to see Eric get a fair deal. I mean, yeah, I’d love to see Bill goo’d, too, but I’ll settle for seeing Eric being happy (which I doubt we’ll really get).

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  8. OMFG!!! I love this, and the comments are even better. I love sweetmg’s! Though I like the others for stupid Sookie right now, but I will admit that one looks like a story I would love to read in full format!!!

    For mine?

    Eric gets to Bon Temps and finding Sookie with Bill’s scent, shakes his head. “He forced you?”

    Sookie leans against the door jam. “No. But you did.”

    He raises that eyebrow that she adores, waiting for her response.

    She sighs. “You left Eric. While you were gone, I dreamed for you to be here, for you to come back and rescue me from the hell here on earth. Then I remembered what a huge attraction I was for Vampires, and when the Hvamps attacked, I needed protection. I didn’t have you or Pam, so I had to go with Fuck up. I figured if you came back, all the better. But if not, at least I can get close to stake the asshole.”

    Eric looks at her. “So you are blaming me?”

    Sookie smiles. “Nope.” Popping the p. “I was planning to kill the asshole who made me reject you as revenge. Telling him that he dies because you left. I did it. I rejected you cause I couldn’t tell the difference between our real love and his fake shit. I rejected you again cause I couldn’t take the horror of everything in the Authority. I pushed you away. I know I did. I was so fucked up it was not funny. but I finally came to my senses, and planned with Alcide how to take out Compton. He is so full of shit that he wrote a fucking book about being possessed as a way to get away with it.”

    Eric watches her still “And your excuse for taking his blood?”

    She smirks. “Ohh Sookeh, I can’t feel you no more.” She gives a bad imitation of his accent. “I planned to get to where I would sleep in his chambers. Playing the fucked up ditzy blonde. You know how hard it has been. How many times Tara, Alcide and Willa has elbowed me to make sure I don’t give it all away? How much training Niall had to give me to be able to separate the blood from me. How to block bonds. Seriously, if Jason still has your blood in him, and we are bonded, do you really think it would be gone from me?”

    Shrugging Eric tells her, “I don’t know what to think. You smell of him.”

    Lifting her own eyebrow, Sookie asks, “Do I?”

    Eric takes a sniff, and then looks at her, “How?”

    She laughs. “I told you I was taught how to work this shit. So what do you want to do? Die? I can heal that if you want. Or do you want to continue your pity party? Its all up to you.”

    Eric smirks. “Fairy Sookie. How I adore you.”

    She laughs, and walks away from the door, telling him, “Your invitation was given back out the following day when I realized what a bitch I was.”

    Eric smirks. “Thank the Gods. Fairy Sookie needs to stay.” he says to himself as he follows his lover into the house, closing the door firmly behind him. His voice is heard, “Lover, tell me more of this plan and what I can do to help…”

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  9. Pingback: New Posts 7/7/14 | Fanfiction Minions

  10. I vaguely remember reading Jessica’s character was created in place of Bubba… I had hoped with the train wreck that was Tara’s turning we’d get a cat ‘loving’ mentally deficient vamp for comic relief. Who knows this show might actually get better and deliver…

    *muses for far too long* maybe Bubba is the guy with the whistle. His diet of cat fancy must leave him Hep-v free…

    Ha, I can’t even convince myself of that while typing it….

    Like

  11. So funny well Bill might turn Sookie at the end so He really gets to drain her..LOL love all the stories here (Kittyinaz,HisviksSweetmg) TB will pass in history for the worst show ever….Take care

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  12. Jackie69: They really do! You can just TELL that TS no longer cares about weird concepts like “quality” or “continuity” or “what the fans wanted”.

    Like

  13. gyllene: I’m surprised they don’t just flash a “Fuck you” sign at us during scene changes…but, well, now, they ARE supposed to be shoving CH at us in, what, the final ep? Same diff I guess…

    Like

  14. I’m so glad I haven’t watched. I learned from the books to stay away. I’ll only watch when Eric and Sookie get their goodbye unless you tell me she does something totally stupid which wouldn’t be surprising. I hope someone drains CH! That should be Eric’s job since she’s fucked him over so bad.

    Like

  15. gyllene: Really, you ARE smart to avoid it like the plague. I still haven’t bothered with last night’s ep, and I’m not sure I will, at least, not any time soon. I dread the E/S parting part, but I guarantee you Stoopie going to do something…Sookiesque… Ugh. It KILLS me that there was once so much promise and they just threw it all away! And I sooooo totally agree with you – it’d be so awesome if Eric *would* drain her! ❤ that!!!

    Like

  16. While I am an avid (meaning hopelessly, shamelessly addicted!) reader of SVM/TB fanfiction, I am not a writer. It’s okay, I have accepted this, and I have other talents, so it’s cool.

    So … if any of you lovely, talented writers are so inclined, and want to take my idea and run with it, please have at it!! Just putting that out there …

    Much love and gratitude to the fanfic writers ❤

    XO

    Like

  17. OH MY GOD!! i swear to everything holy in this world that i haven’t laughed this hard in ages!! that last line! holy fuck! i can’t even describe it!! *stand up and clap for hours*!!!

    Like

  18. sweetmg: Awww, that’s so sweet of you! In all honesty, however, *I* would absolutely LOVE to see YOU expand on your awesome mini-fic – I really, really would, so if you ever have the time and inclination to make it into its own short fic, **DO** let us know, ok? It’s really THAT good!!! ❤

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  19. Svart Jasmin: Thank you – so glad I could help!!! 😀 Heh, I thought that’d be the perfect ending for her stupid ass… 😀

    Like

  20. LMAO!!! That says it all. “What did he ever see in her?” Perfect!!! and then Bill ate Sookie. Awesome!!

    Like

  21. I have to admit that some naive and bound-to-get-crushed part of me is hoping for a happy end for Sookie and Eric. I can’t help it; it’s my compulsive need for a HEA!

    But I mean, if that isn’t an option, I’d be okay with Bill eating Sookie.

    Like

  22. Sarah Wilder: Yeah…there’s a teeny, tiny (gullible? stupid?) part of me that really wants to see that happen, but the rest of me knows it’s the B/S show now…but, since that’s NOT gonna happen, yeah:

    And Bill ate Sookie.

    Like

  23. Bill ate Sookie (hooray!), as Bill drinks the last drop of Sookie’s blood, he also sucks down her fairy spark, and explodes in a flash of light, and a spray of blood. As Sookie passes into the after life, she can see her beloved gran waiting for her, with a bloody great big switch !!

    Like

  24. charity6201: 😀 LMAO – I loved writing, “And Bill ate Sookie. The End.” 😀 And I had some awesome responses from where people wrote their own endings – it was great!!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  25. ya-know, sometimes I really do think this is what sookie deserves and Eric definitely deserves better *cough me cough* ❤

    Like

Ahh, you found me. Meridian and I don't know why they stuck me all the way down here, but do you see that "Comment" box below me? Yeah, that one... Use it!

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