Then why am I updating?
You see,since Dec. 28th I’ve been hiding in my head, trying to pretend the world doesn’t exist and avoiding thinking about things as best I can because the thoughts hurt So…typing about them to you guys would have brought them to the forefront thus making me think the thoughts that I don’t want to think, plus I also REALLY REALLY don’t like being Deanna the Downer Dandelion, either.
For y’all, I want to be a source of fun, of stories and fantasies, of escape from the drudgery of daily life and caring about the YOU of you. I don’t LIKE being a source of bad, horrible, negative drama in my own life, much less in yours – you deserve better than that!
But that’s all I got now – depression, fear, utter helplessness, anxiety, frustration, the whole badly dyed, slightly dusty 9 yards..
***sigh***
Remember the SSI telephone application appointment at the end of December that I had such high hopes for?
It did not go well.
At all.
The interview “lady” was so condescending, insulting, mocking, patronizing, and disparaging that I cried for a solid hour after getting off the phone. And then that evening. And that night. And the next day…
Imagine a Dolores Umbridge without the “hem hem” and you have the officious office beast I got stuck with.
I really don’t have any hope.
And that’s why I haven’t updated recently. I am so sick and tired of being a constant source of whine and sadness.
Plus my cheapie keyboard is just that smidge too small and my fingers keep NOT hitting the right keys. Frustrating!!
Also bronchitis ’cause that’s always fun. There’s more, a lot more, but I hate this keyboard and I’ve dumped enough off on you already. But I could really use a hug right about now.
Y’all really are great and I do most heartily thank you for caring and for letting me whine at you. I genuinely DO do hope you have been having a better 2023 than I have but honestly, that wouldn’t take much at all. Somebunny win us all the lottery??
*pfft* Hey, can’t hurt to toss the suggestion out into the Universe, right?
I should open my own whinery – I have enough stock by now!
Hugs,
~Mer
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Sadly this is needed now more than ever:
Addicted to Godric...Eric...Andre...(Sevrin) 