Anticipating, Chapter 39

**Author’s Note**

Bla, bla, bla:  You know I only own the original stuff, right?  I also own all the mistakes, too.

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(A different kind of night, aka:  Ponder, Plan, Plot, and Pray – Part 6…)

Cara’s sudden stillness worried Godric.  He had no idea of her thoughts, and the feelings flowing through the bond were too complicated to decipher.    He slowly soothed his hand over her back, gently relaxing her tense muscles and giving her some time to think.

After a few long moments, he felt her hand slide up his chest as she turned her face into his neck.  Finally he was able to discern the strongest of her emotions, and his heart sank.

“Speak to me, ma chere.  Tell me what worries you,” he whispered.  He had to find out what she was thinking to cause such a negative reaction.

Regardless of her final answer, she would stay in his home as the Were situation alone was yet to be resolved.  It was by far too dangerous for her to be without his protection.

Cara nuzzled her nose along the smooth skin of his neck, rubbing back and forth as she inhaled deep, calming breaths.

“I’m just…scared,” she quietly admitted into his neck.  She felt him tense up, and continued sooner than she really wanted.  “I’m not scared of you, honey.  And I’m not scared of sleeping beside you, either.  I don’t like the idea that you’re basically passed out cold all during the daylight hours,” she laughed softly, “but I do understand why, of course.”

Godric waited a few moments, and when she didn’t continue, he softly asked, “Come, Cara, tell me exactly what frightens you so that we can deal with it.”  He halted his soothing movements and simply held her close as he pressed his lips to her temple.  He loved the weight and warmth of her smaller body on his lap.

She took a deep breath, then exhaled long and slow.

“Ok…I’m scared I’ll get used to being with you, and then something will happen and we won’t be together anymore.  I’m scared that if we spend a lot of time together, that we’ll get tired of being around each other so much.  And even though I love the idea of going to sleep and staying asleep in your arms, I’m scared I won’t like sleeping with you because I’ve never actually slept in the same bed with anyone before…ever.   I’ve never been this involved in someone else’s life before, and I’ve never let anyone else be so involved in mine, either.  This is all new country for me, ya know?  I could probably go on, but I think that’s enough for now.”

Godric held her to him as he laughed softly in relief.  These were problems he could easily handle.

“Cara, ma petite,” he stated, his voice deep and strong and sure, “please, above all, do not fear a future with me.  We will speak more on that later.”  He tilted her head up and felt his heart break a little at the fear in her eyes.  “Now, to address your next concern, yes, we will be spending much more time together, and I sincerely look forward to it.  So far most of our limited time together has been spent in extremely pleasurable activities, but even I have come to realize that we need something more.  Well,” he paused as his heated gaze caressed her face, taking in her dark brows and flushing cheeks, finally pausing pointedly on her sweet pink lips, “that is what my mind tells me at any rate.”

Cara laughed at both his leering and his markedly quirked brow.  She loved that brow, especially when he raised it during a humorous moment.  He kissed her forehead, then continued.

“The possessive, territorial part of me is intensely pleased to know that I will be the first to truly share your bed,” he said as his voice deepened into a growl as his strengthening accent caused him to purr his r’s.

She stared, fascinated, as the blue in his luminous eyes darkened and his fangs peeked out.  The feelings seeping through the bond spoke of sweet, passionate, purely male satisfaction.  She blushed when she sensed other, more erotic, feelings seeping through the bond.

He bowed his head enough to graze his fangs over her throat and huffed a couple of deep breaths of her scent, but caught himself just before he started preparing her throat for his bite.  He chuckled darkly at her shiver.

Whispering into her ear, he admitted, “Cara-mia, this is, as you say, new country for me as well.  I have never held, nor even desired, such closeness with another as I have with you.  Let us simply enjoy each other, yes?  Let us share our pleasures in each other’s bodies, and also in each other’s presence, as well.  If you will make your home with me as my bonded, then we will have more time to spend together in any way we choose.”

Cara knew she was in trouble.  Between that sexy accent and that erotic but weirdly calming purring coming from his chest, and the heat of his gaze burning through all her fears, yup…she was sunk.  She was awfully glad he didn’t bring out the purring or that accent on a regular basis.  They were damn powerful weapons.

She’d already agreed to move in with him earlier, at least she thought she had, but she appreciated him wanting to make sure she knew what she was agreeing to do.  Her instincts told her she could trust him, and she really wanted to be with him, but…this seemed like too much, too soon.    Why was he in such a hurry?

“Godric?”

He kissed her crown.  “Yes?”

“It seems to me like we’re moving awfully fast here, in a way.  Why?”

“I do not quite understand what you mean, ma chere.”

“Less than two weeks ago I didn’t even know any vampires, much less you, personally.  Now all of a sudden you’re wanting me to seriously move in with you.  I don’t know how things work in the supe world, but as far as I’m concerned, things like this just don’t happen this fast.”

“Ahh, I think I understand now.  In my long life, I have learned many, many things, but one of the most important lessons I learned was this:  follow your instincts.  And, when you are certain about something, do not waste time.  Theoretically I may have all the time in the world, but opportunities will not wait around for my convenience.”

He paused to see if Cara wished to speak, and when she remained quiet, he continued after monitoring the bond.

“Also, consider that while vampires can live an unlimited number of years, our lives are generally restricted to only the dark hours.  Much must be accomplished in a very small amount of time, therefore we learn very soon after rising to act quickly and decisively.  Bluntly, we do not have time to waste in doubt or fear.  Time is a luxury we cannot afford to squander.”

He paused again to monitor the bond, and to deeply inhale her scent.

“Finally, what you may not realize, Cara-mia, is that I was ready to take you the night we met.”

“Oh.”

“This shocks you?”  He smirked to himself, glad Cara missed what he was sure was an arrogant expression.

“Yes, and no.  But, I can see what you mean about time being a luxury.  You have so much of it, but in such small increments.  It must be really frustrating to have forever chopped up into such small blocks.”

“You have no idea, ma chere.”  He chuckled ruefully.

She laughed with him, then relaxed against his cool chest for a little while.

His lap was so comfortable, but she really wanted more coffee…but she didn’t want to move, either.

She laughed.

“What is it, chere?”

“I want it all, that’s all.”

He looked into her face, curious as to what she meant.

“Well, I don’t want to move from here, but I want another cup of coffee.  But, like I said, I don’t want to move the whole three feet to the table to make another cup,” she said with a fake pout.  “And I love that purring thing you’re doing – you wouldn’t believe how much I love it,” she peeped up at him through her lashes, “but if I don’t move…  Well, let’s just say that you could probably use it to get me to do pretty much anything you wanted,” she admitted as she glanced pointedly toward his lips then peeped back to his darkening eyes.  She really would rather “sex” than “talk”, and while she didn’t think it’d actually work, she still had to try, didn’t she?

“Oh, really,” he growled.  He knew she did not like talking much about her feelings, an oddity if he understood current thoughts about relationships between men and women, and knew she would much rather they use their mouths for other purposes, but they really did need to talk…for now.

“Yup,” she said, popping the “p”.  Suddenly a thought occurred to her.

“Godric?”

“Yes, my minx, what is it?”

“I wish you’d been my first.”

He was confused – first what?  The bond told him this was not a trivial subject for her.

“First what, Cara?”  He palmed her cheek and raised her face to meet his eyes.

She smiled shyly, and replied, “I wish you’d been my first…everything.  My first kiss, my first time in bed with someone, everything.”

He bowed his forehead to meet hers, and swallowed hard.  “Me, too, my love.  Me, too.”

He sensed a sudden, sharp pain laced with fear and shame shooting through the bond and instinctively hissed.  He sensed this had to do with her first time having sex, and his heart sank even as the beast in him rose.

“What was that, Cara?  Tell me,” he demanded softly.

She jerked her face away and tried to get up.  “Nothing?”

He could tell she did not want to speak of this thing, but she was his, and if someone had hurt her, it was his responsibility and pleasure to take care of the situation.

He gathered her back into his arms and placed her back on his lap, and held her close.

“You, ma chere,” he kissed her temple, “are an awful liar.  Now, tell me.  We will sit here all night and all day if we must.”

Cara could feel his anger, frustration, lust for revenge, and pure hard determination, and knew he was serious.  They really would sit there until she told him.

Hrumph.  Dang determined vampires and their superior strength.

She raised her knees up and repositioned her feet on the other side of his firm thigh. She folded the robe over her legs, then hugged her arms around her waist, and leaned back into his chest.

Godric waited.

She cleared her throat.  She looked down at her knees.  She glanced over at the coffee service sitting on the table.

Godric…waited.

She repositioned her feet on the couch.  She scratched her arm.

Then she sighed.

“We were in high school together, and we were best friends.  We hung out together all the time when we weren’t in class or asleep, ya know?  We’d talk about anything and everything, life, our classes, who we were seeing, who we had a crush on, philosophy, everything.  We were really, really close, but only as friends.”

She nudged her face into the comfort of his neck.   His heart squeezed painfully as he waited, and dreaded, for her to continue.

“I’d never gone all the way with anyone before.  It wasn’t that I was saving myself or marriage or some such thing – it was more that I just hadn’t meet the right guy yet.  I was, and still am, quite picky in that regard,” she laughed.

He cuddled her closer, and started rubbing slow circles on her back.  The urge to touch her was ever his constant companion, as was the urge to comfort her in whichever way she needed.

She took a deep breath, then blew it out as she seemed to shrink into him.

“One evening we went over to a friend’s house, and, like the silly young fools we were, we started drinking a little.  Well, I don’t really like the taste of alcohol all that much, but he did, so guess who drank the most, huh.  I don’t know why, but we started fooling around a little bit, then one thing led to another.  I said no but he didn’t want to hear that, so he didn’t stop, and, yeah.  That was that.”  She shrugged it off, momentarily forgetting the bond telling him exactly how she was feeling.

“What is his name?”  In his seething fury, Godric spoke his words very distinctly.  All his senses were hyper alert as if there were a threat immediately outside his chambers.  He struggled to keep his hands from clawing as his fangs distended to their fullest length.

Cara shook her head, and swallowed hard.  “Know what I need from you right now,” she whispered.

“Tell me,” he ground out.  “Anything, my love, anything at all, and it is yours without question.”  Revenge, jewels, Spain, whatever she wanted, it was hers.

She gently inhaled the dark, spicy scent of his neck.  “Just hold me, and let’s don’t talk about it again.  It was forever ago, and I want it to stay…back then.  I’m ok now, and that’s what matters.”

He raised his hand to her hair and started stroking, willing her to…he did not know, simply willing her to truly be ok now.  He was glad she wanted him to hold her into his body.  It crossed his mind that he needed the comfort of this closeness as much as she did.  He was also glad that she could not see his face just then.

So, he held her close, comforting her as best he could, inhaling her scent and listening to her heart beat to reassure himself that she was safe in his arms, while he mentally devised plans to locate and secure this man who would finally die an excruciatingly painful death a year or two after he met him.

“So, mein Cara, which high school did you attend,” he silkily questioned.

Cara couldn’t help it – she burst out laughing.  Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed herself back far enough to see his face.  “Good try Mr. Sexy Vampire Beast, but sorry, no go,” she quipped.  She leaned up and quickly kissed his cheek, then, “Human needs a minute, and some coffee, and in that order.  Lemme up.”

He scanned her face and found only clear eyes and a bright smile, so he acquiesced.

Godric watched as she flitted to the bathroom, slightly stunned with her ability to recover so very quickly from such strong, negative emotions.  Earlier, when she had shrugged her shoulder to imply that she was shrugging off the horrible event, he had almost commented, but had held his tongue.  Then and now, the bond told him what he truly needed to know, and he was once again astonished by her strength.

He wondered if he should discuss with her how surprisingly strong their bond already was.  From what he knew of such things, they were exhibiting signs of a well-formed second bond, yet they had only come together this same night, and by accident at that.

A few moments later she returned, made herself a cup of her coffee, drank it down, then straddled his lap.

She put her hands on his chest.  “Yes.”

He tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, and asked, “Yes, what, ma belle?”  Dare he hope…?

“I’ll not only move in with you, but I’ll move in here with you, if you really want me to.”

Immediately his eyes darkened as his hands firmly grasped her waist.

“You are certain?”

She could understand the sudden gravity of his voice.  She nodded, and smiled softly.  “I think I must,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his.

“Why,” he queried just as softly.

“Because I love you, Godric, and because I do love you, I have to follow my heart, and no matter how scared I am, and no matter how worried I am, my heart is leading me straight back to you.”

He closed his eyes in sweet relief.

She raised her hand to cup his cheek, and felt her heart loosen a bit when he rubbed his cheek in the palm of her hand.   “I have no idea how this is all going to go, but I do know that you’re definitely worth taking a chance with.”

A moment later Cara gasped when he opened his red-rimmed eyes.

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**Btw:  I’m thrilled to see every single notification in my inbox of a new follow or favorite, and I savor every review you all send me.  Thank you very much for helping me enjoy my first fic!**

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Next to:  Chapter 40

Back to:  Chapter 38

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