Just a few of my *observations regarding sex scenes in the fanfic world…

Here’s a teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy literary eye-roll I have about some of the “OMGodric – Srsly?” terms, phrases and actions used in fanfic sex scenes.  Don’t get me wrong:  the whole point behind writing fanfic is to FIRST AND FOREMOST enjoy creating a story based on the books or tv show that you love.   But…geez…Godric…:

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*Apparently female pussies/sexes/love boxes/cunts (a word I DESPISE!)/muffs/vaginas (it’s VULVA, people…vaginas are on the INSIDE!  *sigh*  Here:

The vulva (from the Latin vulva, plural vulvae, see etymology) consists of the external genital organs of the female mammal.[1] This NSFW article deals with the vulva of the human being, although the structures are similar for other mammals.

Told’ja.) of all species are always permanently gushing  and/or dripping, and, according to male responses, apparently have a strong odor problem.  Perhaps a doctor should be seen for both situations?  Does all that gushing/dripping  pool at their feet?  Won’t they get a fungus from all that perma-moisture?

* Apparently these females are pretty much in perma-heat…but only after meeting the male (or female?) that fate/the fates/nature/some prophesy or other/whatever has chosen for them.  Also apparently, free choice is – at best – barely an option.  But that’s also apparently ok since her pussy/vulva/love box/gushing cavern craves what’s-his-name so much that she’ll “choose” him anyfuckingway. 

*When going down on said male-of-their-dreams, apparently the female is supposed to “swallow all that he has to offer”…  Does that include his wallet?  What about cars?  Jewelry?  Wouldn’t those be hard to swallow?  Is that supposed to sound better than “thick ropes of cold vamp cum slithering down her throat” or something?

confused

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