Anticipating, Chapter 37

(A different kind of night, aka:  Ponder, Plan, Plot, and Pray – Part 4)

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Absolute silence descended in the bedroom.   A few moments later, still intimately joined, Godric healed his bite marks then rolled Cara and himself gently onto their sides.   Although the beast that lived within him was now mostly back under control, that most primitive part of him always hated healing his marks on her.  They were the most visible proof possible that she was his, and he wanted his possession of her known by the world.  But he would never willingly do that to her.  Not only was her skin too beautiful to mar, but he respected her too much and would not consider taking such actions unless they were truly necessary.

Unfortunately, if she remained in his life for very long, there might actually come a time when such a measure was needed to protect and claim her according to vampire traditions.   The disparities between the human and vampire worlds were slowly appearing to close, but in reality, many of the old guard relished and exploited the perceived differences in station between the species.

Although he had never much considered such things in the past, he knew that one of the main things that drew him to her was her adamant, though rarely spoken, determination that everyone was equal, no matter their sex, origin, color, or species.  Her will was equal to his, and he respected that, admired it and would never do anything to subvert that most basic part of her.

Regardless, he arrogantly admitted to himself, he would still do whatever it took to keep her safe.  If that meant leaving his marks on her, or even using their new, albeit unintentional, bond to control her actions if he felt the need to control her actions, then that is what he would do…but only if he had to, he reassured himself.

He pulled her into the hard strength of his body, fit his knees in behind hers, and wrapped his arms around her smaller frame.  He held on tight as he tucked her head under his chin, and slowly, purposefully, inhaled their combined scents on her as her breathing and heartbeat gradually calmed.

He felt the first phase of the new double bond opening up between them, and savored the experience.  He had never had a double bond before, and while he knew a lot about it, it was all in theory.

He decided that the reality was so much more intensely satisfying than he could ever have imagined.

As much as he wanted to remain inside her, he needed to see her face, so he reluctantly withdrew his still-hard length and gently turned her to face him.

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Cara felt herself slowly drifting back to earth, and reveled in being held so close in his arms.  Very briefly she pondered the fact that he was still hard inside her, but the overwhelming flood of love and desire and protectiveness and possessiveness growing inside her heart took her mind off everything except the art of breathing.

Where were all these feelings coming from?  She’d never felt anything like this kind of possessiveness or protectiveness before, nor such…satisfaction?  As the feelings grew and swirled and took root, she finally managed to clear her head enough to realize that this might have something to do with some sort of bonding since blood had been given and taken by both of them.  She knew what ingesting his blood could do, and wondered what had happened when they both took blood from each other at the same time.

As confused as she was, she was awfully glad he’d given her his blood.  There was no way she’d be able to walk tomorrow if he hadn’t.  But, oddly enough, as rough and as passionate as he generally was with her, he’d never once hurt her, even with his impressive strength.

Just as her body was starting to relax from what she could only classify as the very best pummeling of her life, she felt him gently roll her over until she was facing his hard chest.

He caressed her cheek for a moment before tilting her face up so he could rest his forehead against hers.  He smoothed his hand down her side and over her thigh before drawing her knee up over his hip.

Then, leisurely, carefully, as if he had all the time in the world, he softly kissed her swollen lips over and over as he slowly pressed his stiff length into the slick juncture of her thighs.

He could not get enough of her.  He had just had the most intense sexual experience of his existence, yet, here he was, easing them both toward yet more bliss.   Even the mere thought of not being with her was intolerable.

Sensing his brief distress, Cara drew back enough to meet his intense blue gaze.  Her hands clutched at his shoulders in direct response to his cock rubbing across her most sensitive area.  Although he seemed fine…more than fine…she’d still sensed that something worried him.

“What’s wrong,” she asked, her words ending with a gasp as he flexed his hips in just the right way.

“Cara…” he met and held her eyes as his movements became more focused.  “I do not believe I can…,” he paused as he slowed, trying to regain control of himself, “I need you again,” he growled as his movements suddenly became more urgent.

Sensing the same urgency as her lover, Cara used what momentum she could to pull him completely on top of her.  Spreading her thighs wide, she urged him to join them completely.  He did, somehow managing to do so more smoothly than in past ventures.

When Cara pulled him over on top of her and offered herself to him, Godric fought hard to retain what control he had over himself.  He entered her slowly all the while gazing down into the surprising depths of her shining brown eyes.  At the completion of their joining, he basked in the satisfied radiance softening her beautiful face.

“We have…many things…to discuss…this night,” he said between thrusts, “but still I…cannot…keep myself…from you.”

He felt he should be more concerned about his insatiability for Cara but the look in her eyes…the way she touched him…the sound of her voice…her scent…his scent on her…in her…

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Sometime later Cara roused to the feeling of Godric softly stroking her face.  As she stretched in his arms, she realized that she was cuddled up to him, and slowly rubbed her cheek over his chest.  She smoothed her hand up his side and raised her eyes to meet the absolute adoration shining from his face.

He kissed the tip of her nose, then stroked his thumb over her brow.

“You’re fired.”

Cara wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly.  His expression hadn’t changed, and his voice was low and dark and sexy, but…

“Huh?”

“You, my bonded, are fired.  No mate of mine will cook for or serve anyone, much less Weres.”  His low, dark, sexy voice was suddenly a bit stronger and firmer.

He placed his finger over her lips when she started to speak.

“Also, I think part of the difficulties between us stem from our lack of time spent together.  Unfortunately I cannot change my schedule very much,” he explained as he quirked his brow, “but I can very easily hire someone else to cook.  This will free up your time to spend how you please, and I hope it will please you to spend more time with me.”

His eyes and nostrils flared when Cara nipped his fingertip, which he then moved.

Mission accomplished, she grinned up at him…and quirked her own brow.  “Bonded?”

He cleared his throat.  The expression on his face – part guilt, part caution, part male satisfaction – was priceless, she thought.

“Yes.  We have now completed the first part of a double bond.”

Her answer surprised him.  “I thought so!”

He had to go and quirk that brow again.  “Please explain, ma chere.  What do you mean?”

“I felt you, and I knew it had to be you since I’ve never felt anything near that kind of possessiveness or anything else like it before.”  She wondered at the surprise on his face, surprise that she herself felt…from him.

“You’re feeling surprised right now, aren’t you?  Why?”

“You are right, I am surprised.  From what I know of double bonding traditions, after the first mutual exchange, you, as a human or a Were, would generally not be able to detect my emotions.  Only after the second exchange should you be able to sense me at all.”  He beheld her in amazement, pleased with this unexpected gift of closeness with his heart’s desire.  He reveled in feeling her peaceful curiosity, satisfaction, and warmth…and slight umbrage.  “However, I must apologize to you, Cara.  I had intended this night to discuss forming a double bond with you, but as you can tell, things did not go exactly as I had planned.”

“Yes,” she replied archly, “don’t you hate it when the bed sneaks up under us like this?”

At least he had the grace to appear a bit chastened, she thought.  Beds sure did have a strange habit of appearing right up under them quite often…

She stretched more fully then scowled.  “Apparently this bed makes me have to take human moments, too.”

She extricated herself from his arms and rose to sit on the edge of the bed for a moment before preparing to stand.  She gasped then laughed when a dark burgundy silk robe appeared under her nose.

After availing herself of the facilities (and cleaning herself from their most recent sex-fest), Cara returned to find Godric lying on his side in the bed.  He held the covers back for her invitingly, so she took the robe off and tossed it to the foot of the bed, then slid in beside him.

“So, tell me more about this accidental double bond.”  She wanted more information before she decided if she was pissed or happy.  She was leaning toward happy, but damn, this double bond thing directly involved her, too.

When Godric automatically reached out to touch her, she jerked back.  “Talk, not touch, Mr. Sexy Vampire Beast.  Touching leads to not talking,” she laughed, “so…move your beautiful mouth and not your hands, which, by the way, really ought to be illegal.”

Godric wryly agreed with her summation and adored her instead with his eyes.  “As you wish, my love.  Unfortunately, you are correct.”

While he basked in sensing her humor, he also detected her vague but understandable suspicion, uncertainty, and unease.  He wished he knew which god to thank for her charitable disposition that was allowing him the opportunity to explain.

“My plans for us this night were, primarily, to solve any problems between us.  Afterward, I wanted us to have a chance to simply talk.  There were, and are, many things I would like to talk with you about, and one of those things was the option of forming a double bond between us.”  He watched as his hand, seemingly no longer under his own control, lifted to tuck an escaped curl of dark hair back behind her ear.

His smile turned shy as his eyes met hers.  He was unaccustomed to having his weaknesses displayed so openly, and his inability to keep his hands to himself in her presence was definitely a weakness.

Cara just smiled as she covered and squeezed his hand briefly before tucking both her hands under her cheek.

“I have missed spending time alone with you, ma chere.  You are bright, witty, and have a truly wicked sense of humor.  You seem to understand things quickly without much explanation, and that is a rare trait.  Truly, I have missed talking with you.”

His darkening blue eyes caressed her face almost like a touch.  She never thought she could feel so comfortable just talking while lying in bed, naked, with the most beautifully handsome male she’d ever seen.  But yet here she was…lying in bed…just talking, finally…with the most beautifully handsome male she’d ever seen.

“I’ve missed talking with you, too, Godric.  I love hearing how you think about the world.  I love how much you know, and I love how willing you are to share that knowledge with me.  But, most of all, I love when the playful side of your personality comes for a visit.  He doesn’t come nearly often enough.”

“Unfortunately if we keep talking along these lines, he will “come” sooner than expected, and we do need to finish at least this conversation.”

The look he gave Cara could have melted steel.  By unspoken mutual agreement, they both moved a bit farther apart and resettled themselves comfortably.

Godric leered at her throat for a moment, then unnecessarily cleared his own.  “I have never bonded with anyone before, so all my knowledge is hear-say, but I will tell you what I know.  Whether intended or not, you and I have completed the first part of a double bonding.  It takes three separate mutual blood exchanges before the bonding is permanent.  Unless replenished, the first two exchanges are temporary, with the first one lasting maybe six months at the most, and the second one lasting a little longer.  No matter if the vampire is bonding with a human, a supe, or another vampire, it will always take three exchanges, and they must always be mutual for it to be a double bonding.”

He paused until Cara nodded her understanding.

“I have no excuse for tonight.  I can only say that I wanted you, and it felt like you wanted me.  My gut told me that the timing was right, and before I fully realized what I was doing, my wrist was in your mouth and my fangs were in your flesh.  It just felt…right.”

He paused again.  Cara just looked at him.

“Although I do not wish to incur your anger, I have to tell you that I in no way regret bonding with you, and, if you will have me, when you are ready, I wish to complete the next two exchanges to make this bond permanent.”

Cara felt his love and honesty.  She also sensed his determination and clarity of purpose, and his slight fear of rejection.  She slowly held her hand out half-way between them and smiled when he placed his hand in hers.  She noted how her simple touch seemed to soothe him.

“Tell me more about this kind of bond.  How is it different from when I already had your blood?”

“Before I could only sense how you felt, if you were hurt, and where you were.  Now, I can sense much more clearly how you feel, and I will be able to locate you much easier, and at a longer distance, should the need ever arise.  And, very surprisingly for a first exchange, you can apparently sense how I feel as well.  I do not know if you would be able to locate me, though. ”

“And?”  Cara had sensed his peculiar, and growing, reticence.

“And I understand that even a first exchange is supposed to enable a vampire to will his bonded to do his bidding, but I doubt that I would ever need to have that sort of control over you.  Also…  Please, do not…Cara!”

Cara had immediately risen and was putting his robe on before he even stopped speaking.  He could not believe the amount of anger and the feelings of betrayal coursing through her.  The strength of her anger alone was staggering.

In a flash he was standing before her with his hands on her hips.

“Cara!  Listen to me, please.  Cara!”  He pulled her closer, determined to break through her fury enough to show her it was completely unwarranted.  He waited until she focused her death glare on him.

“My love, never would I even attempt to influence your actions except and only to save you from suffering or death, and for no other reason.  Ever.”

Her fierce stare and the feelings burning through the bond told him he was losing ground fast.  Her rigid stance, tight lips, and folded arms gave proof to her displeasure.  His chest ached at the closed expression on her face.

“I trusted you and this is how you repay me?” She hissed at him.  “At least you decided to be honest enough to tell me to my face that you’re planning on using this damn bond of yours to control me…but for my own safety, of course,” she ended mockingly.

Godric felt his whole world crumbling, and all because of a few moments’ loss of control.  In truth, he could not fault her reasoning.  He knew that if he had only forced himself to slow down and talk with her before taking her to bed so suddenly, this never would have happened.  He could think of no way to salvage this situation.  She detested being controlled in any way.  If he could only glamour…

“Cara, please consider that it is highly unlikely that I would ever be able to influence more than your moods at most.  Remember, you cannot be glamoured, and you have the ability to somehow close the weak bond that we already had.   I doubt I can even influence your emotions all that much.”

“But you were already planning on trying, Godric, so that point is actually moot.  You absolutely believe that you have the right to control or influence how I feel?  How I act?  I’m not your damn pet, asshole.  Either we are equal, or I’m gone – one or the other.”

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**Ohhhh shit…Godric’s in the doghouse for sure…  So, what did you think??**

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Next to:  Chapter 38

Back to:  Chapter 36

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