Anticipating, Chapter 35

**A/N:  You know great things come in 3’s, right?  RIGHT?? (Sorry this is so short, but my bones are hurting tonight (flu’bonia?), and I wanted to go ahead and get this out to y’all, 😦 so…yeah…more later)*  

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(A different kind of night, aka:  Ponder, Plan, Plot, and Pray – Part 2)

Cara gasped, her eyes filling with tears that spilled quickly, scared to death she hadn’t heard Godric’s words right even as she held him as close as she could.   Finally curiosity got the best of her and she loosened her hold on him enough to lean back to see his face.

Instead of seeing a loving expression, however, she saw indecision and horrified shock.  “Cara…chere…I am so sorry.  I did not mean to make you cry!”

Godric placed his palms on each side of her face and brushed her tears away with his thumbs.  “Stop crying, Cara.  Please,” he begged.

The sight of her tears tore something in Godric’s dead heart.  Of all things, he had made her cry!

Cara sniffed as elegantly as possible, then smiled tremulously at the angst-ridden vampire before her.  “You…you love me?”  She clutched his shoulders in anticipation of his answer.

Godric closed his eyes, relieved beyond measure that these were what he had heard called “happy tears”.  Then, realizing he was about to say words which had not passed his lips since he was turned, he paused.  Savoring the moment, he rested his forehead against hers and inhaled her scent as deeply as he could.  After placing the sweetest of kisses on her brow, he raised back up to meet her teary gaze.

“I love you as no other, my Cara.  I did not know such a thing was even possible for me.  I find my heart is not dead, but is in fact filled with love for you.”

Joy bright as the sun flooded his Cara’s shocked face before she threw herself back into his chest.  He had to remind himself that her ribs were breakable as he gathered her in his arms.  His strong hands gently stroked her back in widening circles and he mirrored her position and rested his head in the crook of her neck.

Long, intense minutes later, he felt Cara stiffen and begin moving away from him slowly.

After searching his eyes, she asked, “Then why won’t you sleep with me?   You’re always gone when I wake up, and my bedroom is supposed to be light-tight, yet…you always leave me.”

Although she kept her hands on his shoulders, the joy on her face was quickly changing back into wounded anger.  Godric mentally noted how much he wanted to kiss her now-jutting chin.

Fuck it, he thought to himself.  He had waited long enough.

Finally allowing himself to give into the permanent temptation, he cupped the back of her head and suddenly, forcefully, kissed her senseless.  He did not waste time easing into this kiss, instead crushing her tremulous lips under the power and expertise of his own.  As his tongue rhythmically invaded her mouth, his hands lowered to her ass to heft her up.  She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and, to his pleasure, suddenly returned his kiss with equal force.

Knowing that if he took her to his bed there would be no more talking this night, Godric instead backed her up against the nearest bare wall and took their kiss to a deeper, higher level than ever before.

Bracing her against the wall freed one hand to roam her body from the sweet curves of her ass to the dip of her waist and back.

Hands clutching at his shoulders, heart pounding, Cara gladly gave herself over to the magic in their lips.  The knowledge that she was supposed to be hurt and angry fled her mind instantly as she soared with shocked pleasure in the passion in his kiss…and once more with his completely unexpected declaration.

He loved her!  She couldn’t believe it!  Sure, she knew that he was protective, and that even as super-strong as he was, he’d never hurt her no matter how passionate their loving had been, but still…love?  That wasn’t something she expected.  And now that she knew even more about “the vampire way”, the fact that he’d come right out and said it made it even more incredible!   She decided she would try to wait until tomorrow to freak out about it all…

Godric fought to control his fangs as his tongue danced with hers and his hips ground into her warmth.  Eventually he raised his head when he sensed her need to breathe, and, after giving one last maddening thrust into her body, he let her feet slip to the floor.  He let one massive shudder ripple though him…and kept her trapped between his body and the wall.

“You truly wish to sleep with me, Cara,” he growled softly, surprise evident in his tone.  He stroked his fingers lightly down her cheek, as his blue eyes, soft and gentle and amazed, focused on hers.

Cara, noticing her still-pinned position but not minding it, simply nodded.  She wasn’t sure she could form a coherent sentence yet anyway.  His kisses weren’t the least bit conducive to logic.

Godric traced her lower lip with his thumb.  “When I die for the day, it is as if I am truly dead, ma chere.  I would not want my appearance to frighten or disgust you.  I would be cold, stiff, and unresponsive to all but the greatest of stimuli.  I cannot think this would appeal to you.”  He tilted his head slightly sideways, obviously curious about her desire to sleep with him, as well as the light dimming from her eyes.

She lowered her eyes and tilted her head away from his hand as she absorbed his words.  To her, they sounded more like excuses to avoid sleeping with her than anything else.

Sensing her strong disappointment, Godric tilted her chin back up.  “What?”  He cringed when tears began filling her eyes again and she tried to move her head.  “Cara,” he started, his voice unintentionally strong in his rising fear.  “Tell me.”

Cara despised the squalling, sniveling mess she was becoming, but didn’t know how in the hell to stop it.  In a couple of days part of the problem would be solved, but still…it must be that stupid love thing…apparently she’d caught it, too, and it sure as fuck didn’t feel like sunshine and daisies.

She shook her head, not really wanting to talk about the problem or how stupid she felt for even having one.  Or several.

Not knowing how to solve this latest situation, Godric simply wrapped one arm around her waist, gently lowered her head to his shoulder with his other hand, and held her tight.  He prayed she would find the words and the inclination to tell him what was wrong in good time, and if it took all this night, and the next, and the one after that, then that is what it would take.

He would wait.

His incredible patience was rewarded when, eventually, her arms slid around his waist, and held him tight.  She briefly rubbed her cheek against his neck, took a deep breath, and spoke very quietly into his ear.

“It…it just seems like if you wanted to be with me, you would.  I know you don’t have to breathe, honey, and that you don’t have a pulse, so yeah, you’d be still when you sleep.  I get it, it makes sense.”  She noticed that her voice was rising, so she stopped for a moment to calm down.  He started lightly rubbing her back again, and she relaxed even more into his arms.

After placing a conciliatory kiss on his neck, she resumed.  “Ok, yeah, so I don’t like it when, after we have a really great night, I wake up the next day and you’re gone.  I love it when you leave me notes, and I miss it when you don’t.”

Godric waited a moment to see if she would continue, then asked softly, “Now, I sense there is something more bothering you, yes?”  He nuzzled into that sweet spot just behind her ear and inhaled deeply, all the while lightly stroking her back and holding her close.

She took a deep breath, and decided to just spill it all.  He felt so strong…so strong and solid and powerful against her smaller frame, his hands so gentle and soothing on her back, his scent so comforting.  She felt something inside her ease; his resulting jolt made her wonder if this was the blocked bond opening.

She cleared her throat.  “I miss talking to you, just…sitting and talking about whatever.  I want to know more about you, your history, your dreams and plans and what you like and hate.  Where all have you been and where all do you want to go?  What were you like as a human and what are the differences between you “then” and “now”?  I want to know what makes you laugh, and oh, Godric, I love your laugh!  It’s the best sound in the world and I never get to hear it anymore.”

Cara sniffed, but she was on a roll.  “I love when we’re together and the way you feel inside me, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before and it scares me how perfect we are together like that, but there’s so much more to being involved with someone than just the physical part.  I want to go out with you and hold hands and see and explore new things with you, and I want to sit by the fire with my head in your lap and just look at you because you’re so beautiful. ”

She felt something rolling down her neck, but didn’t think what it was.

“I love the way you look at me and your voice…  Oh, Godric, your voice is…it’s everything!  Smooth, calm, sexy as fuck, scary as hell, and everything in between…but I don’t get to hear nearly enough of it.  When you look at me I feel like I’m the only girl you’ve ever really looked at and I think I’m falling in love with you too and I don’t like it and it scares the daylights out of me because…” she snapped her jaws shut and held on tight.

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**I truly do appreciate every single review you guys take the time and effort to write, and I try to respond to all of you as best I can (ugh…why can’t days have 48 hours?!?) but…if you’re logged in as a guest, guess what…I can’t write back!  Either way, reviews – especially great ones! – really do encourage the writing process!**

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Next to:  Chapter 36

Back to:  Chapter 34

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