Let’s Be Honest…

Do you know why I’m not currently working on any of my WIPs? It’s because…let’s be honest here…I would end every single one of them in two chapters or less with a story-specific version of “Ugh, Sookie, your farts stink!”/”Well, Eric, your skin is cold!” and then they would all part ways with varying degrees of ennui/disgust/eye-rolling and continue living long boring/short boring lives.

It would be a travesty but that’s the mood I’m in, man, and these characters deserve hella better than that mess. Well, except Beehl.

As an example of how things are going, I’ve written out directions on How To Scramble Eggs (when you have to use 2 crutches and 1 fake leg). It’s up if you’re bored enough to read it.

My toilet may now be fixed (WHEW!!) but I’m three debit collection agencies and one very very part-time helper short of being anywhere near happy with my one-legged lot in life. I really liked the last lady who helped some by taking out the trash/rolling the can to the curb and doing once-weekly grocery pick-ups for me (I still don’t have a ramp to even exit my house so I can’t even take the trash TO the trash can much less go get then bring in groceries.) but she has mysteriously disappeared for a week now. And she really liked my cats, too. I hope she’s ok but there’s been no contact at all so I’m worried about her but also worried about how to get things done around here that I physically can’t do.

Although it’s apparently not worth anything, I do have a resume up on Indeed and floating around in various places on the interwebs and have applied to (but received absolutely no responses from…) INNUMERABLE places. It has to be remote/work-from-home for obvious reasons and it’s becoming glaringly obvious that the Universe despises me.

I have skills! I promise!! Why can’t I get anyone to see that?????

I’m sure I’d be useful to…someone…somehow…I mean…I can proofread…check for content…enter data…blink slowly at cats…

Brb, gonna cry a bit. Feeling useless is no fun.

Plus I have ALLERGY EYES.

ALLERGY. EYES.

Do not recommend…

But, yeah, that’s why I’m not even TRYING to write – Eric, Sookie, Godric…hell, even Jason wouldn’t appreciate it. Andre probably would, though – he’d approve of my “off’em all” inclinations. He’s kind of an ass like that sometimes. It’s why we don’t normally go to him for advice on such things.

Yes, that’s him with the evil snicker in the background. (“We can hear you, Andre…”)

He said that he doesn’t care – murder/angst/torture ARE in his blood for a reason – but he also reminded me to post that obligatory PayPal link again. <<—– There, does that count? I figure y’all are as tired of seeing that spendy-ass’d prosthetic leg as I am.

Is it bad that I still despise Beehl? Andre said he doesn’t mind, that nobody likes him, but Andre isn’t always the best judge of acceptable behavior. I like that about him. Our outlooks coincide frighteningly often…hell, we’re probably related…

Ok, I’ll hush with the nonsensical rambling but you don’t have to – ramble all ya want in the comments. Y’all are great and I love reading what you have to say! I can’t believe it’s March already – how’s it going for you find folks? I hope you’re kickin’ ass and fuck taking names in whatever you’ve got going on. We all deserve some strong wins right about now.

Squeeezy hugs and Andre-esque advice to everyone,

~Mer

15 thoughts on “Let’s Be Honest…

  1. You are awesome.

    The universe hates me too! Dad in “24 hr hospice care” but still fell and broke his hip yesterday. Step mom complains we don’t visit when she put him in care many hours away from us. Moms hip is hurting so bad she can’t eat without vomiting but the drs are taking their damn time responding.. and that’s just the tip of the ice berg for me this week. My long haul covid issues aren’t getting better, I’ve had to admit that i have brain damage from it and can’t write anymore.

    I think we should all try to find 1 positive thing no matter how small! Mine is a place online called Fody Foods. They sell bottled things like pasta sauce, ketchup, teriyaki sauce that are made without onions or garlic! I’m telling you the first time I got to have ketchup with my fries and not get ill I cried, and when I got to have it on my hamburger I cried again, and don’t even get me started on the teriyaki chicken! So there’s my good thing 😁 I hope the very best for you!

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  2. I am glad to hear from you, and sorry things are so rough, but very happy that you are still trucking along. Life usually turns around and titty punches us right when we least expect it, but holding onto a sense of humor is one of the best ways to get through the tough times!!!
    This is going to sound weird, but hear me out… have you looked into the phone sex industry?? You can work from home and use your imagination… you lose your faith in humanity, but a job?! I have been doing it for years and i love not having to leave my house to work. Just a thought really.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. bashfyl – Totally get you on the LHC (long haul covid)…pretty sure I had it in March ’20 and STILL am exhausted, foggy brained, achy/pain’y…ugh, whole 9 yards. So I totally get it. Get what rest you can – your body has been through a virus war and is taking forever to heal and repair.

    Can you call your mom’s dr and kick-start their ass? Them sitting on theirs ain’t helping hers… (I despise 95% of “elite” medical personnel, btw, so maybe don’t listen to me…)

    I’m sorry about your dad. That really sucks and is the LAST thing he needed. Also, tell your mom to switch him to a far closer facility so that you CAN visit w/ him more often, dammit!

    GO YOU!!! I can only imagine just how hard it is to find common things, especially flavorful condiments, that DON’T have onions and garlic in them! Talk about a miracle!! So glad you’ve got it!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sarah Lowe – Heh, you’re totally right – you gotta have a sense of humor or go insane and I totally blame life for my weird, sometimes dark, sometimes atrocious, sense of humor, lol. Or I blame Andre. Either/or…

    I think it’s great that you’ve found a job you can stand so that you can work from home! I’m afraid it wouldn’t work for me – I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face and would either giggle at the wrong time or straight-up bust out laughing. It would not go well. I truly admire people who can do that kind of thing and do it right. Go you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Does this mean you never get to leave the house? That would drive the most hearty soul into a very bad place even if there were no health issues. So sorry you’re slogging through this right now, and I really hope you get that ramp soon! And your helper back of course. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  6. howaboutboth – Nope. Haven’t left the house at all since I returned in October. There ARE ramps I could order like from Amazon but they’re pretty expensive especially relevant to my not-wealthy/not-employed state. It’s awful. Thanks for the good thoughts! I hope the helper is ok and returns soon, but if nothing else I hope a new one replies quickly.

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  7. Hoping things begin to improve for you. Being housebound and without honest reliable help compounds the your ability to feel you have a minuscule piece of control in your life. My thoughts are with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Okay, this suggestion is a little out there too. Try reaching out to a Boy Scout Troop for help with the ramp. Scouts need to do a certain amount of community service hours to advance in rank. Building a ramp would certainly fit that bill. In fact, I know that my son’s troop did that once a few years back. In fact, if they do it as an Eagle project, the Scout is even responsible for fundraising to pay for the supplies.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Jules3677 – You’re exactly right – I feel absolutely no control over my own life in the ways that matter. I guess that’s why I bitch so much here? I want people to know the realities, the good and the bad. If people don’t understand that terrible, awful things can and do happen to otherwise normal, perhaps even decent, people, how can they prepare for real life? Also, apparently I like to whine, lol. Thanks, hon. I hope all is going well for you and yours.

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  10. Switbo – Hey, that’s an idea! It certainly can’t hurt to reach out at any rate, and since it’s an outdoor type thing, even the growls of COVID shouldn’t be an issue (it’s still alive and well in my county). Thanks for the idea!

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  11. Mer, I’m so sorry to hear that. How incredibly frustrating.
    If you’re eligible for Medicaid (I would think the limited mobility would qualify as a disability?), it looks like a ramp should be covered by that. https://www.ezaccess.com/post/get-funding-for-a-residential-wheelchair-ramp
    Or if not, maybe a local nonprofit like a rotary club? It’s such a compelling need and limited scope it seems like a perfect grant request for organizations like that.
    Fingers crossed — you need and deserve to be able to go outside!!

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  12. Girl, you rant all you want! I’m feelin’ ya! I went through all that and more when I lost my last full-time job & ended up on disability over 20 years ago… A blessing in disguise now in retrospect! I even went back to school for another degree but couldn’t get released for full-time work (16 years ago), and there was no getting a part-time job in IT Security, and now what I learned is mostly obsolete. On the other hand, I’m now over 60, so why would I want to go back to work anyway? I’m too old to start over just to retire in a few short years, so I’ll just stick with SSDI & roll it over to SSI soon enough. Srsly, if anyone deserves to rant & bitch about life being unfair lately, it’s you, so go for it! There should be plenty of social service non-profit organizations you can contact to get a freakin’ ramp built. Try wheretoturn.org. It’s run through a national non-profit whose name I can’t remember right now (getting old sucks), but back in the days when it was a book, it was our bible for referrals for those in need of any services. I wish you all the best always, my dear. Pet the cats for me. Sending you love and best wishes for everything from the ‘Burgh.

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  13. As I recall. we live in the same state, but I think you’re too far away for my son’s troop to help. I might be able to play troop matchmaker though if you need it.

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  14. Not being anywhere close to your locality (I’m in Australia 🇦🇺) is a bit of a bummer as I’d be only too happy to help you out regularly with groceries, or just a drive around the damn block to get you out of the house!
    Hopefully some of the suggestions like contacting the Scouts might work out? It’s certainly worth a try. What about local high school shop classes (whatever you call the classes where a bunch of kids learn to build shit). Maybe a ramp could be a class project?
    No real clue if they do that stuff in the US.
    Anywho, rant all you want on here. No judgement. All we can do is listen/read and send a virtual hug 🤗
    XXXX

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Ahh, you found me. No clue why they stuck me ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, but see that "Comment" box? Have at it!

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