An Honest Discussion

Rape being used to sensationalize a story, tv show, or movie pisses me off to no end since I know that the trivialization of rape inevitably leads to it not being taken seriously in real life where it happens way more often than will likely ever be reported. Therefore along those lines, the word “rape” should never be thrown around lightly.

Ever.

Rape is a seriously offensive violation on too many levels to go into in this reblog lead-in.

The point: My friend Bertie Bott received a “Guest” review (naturally) on ff accusing her of writing Damon raping Bella because Damon, vampire-sensing and knowing that his beloved and adored wife Bella was having a very “happy” dream, decided to, shall we say, “initiate sexual proceedings” while Bella was still asleep in the midst of that dream. Now, if said “Guest” had bothered reading any, some, or all of the preceding chapters, she would have known that a rape scenario was the LAST thing that would logically happen between these two perpetually horny lovey-dovey love-birds.

Srsly.

There is too much trust, respect, consideration, joy, love, adoration, and compassion between this Damon and Bella couple to logically even consider such a thing.

Anyone who knows me will also know that I am one of the biggest anti-rape and anti-abuse crusaders on the planet, and if I say something is not rape and is not abuse, dude, it’s not rape. It’s not abuse.

This was not rape.

Please give her awesome response to that “review” a read – her response is incredible.

Fanfiction by Bertie Bott

I’d like to take a moment and open up a discussion based on a review I received on ff.net for chapter 22 of Thirsty. Sadly, this person hid under the anonymity of a guest review and I’m therefore unable to address their concerns to them personally in a mature, respectful conversation, but their allegations left me both disturbed and offended. I debated shrugging it off and whether or not their review was even sincere (people sometimes say negative things just for attention, after all), but I find myself unable to let it go; not because I feel the need to defend myself and my characters (which, admittedly, I do feel) but because I’d like to use the harsh comment I received to shed light on a grave issue. I post the review here now, not as a way of singling them out, but in order address any concerns and…

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10 thoughts on “An Honest Discussion

  1. Thank you for the re-blog and your support… the more attention we can bring to the subject of rape while avoiding throwing the word around like confetti the better.

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  2. This is sad that anyone would not just own a comment like that. Be honest folks, what’s the worst that could happen? Bertie Bott might offer some insight into her writing?! Heaven forbid! Thank you for re-blogging this so that I could view it as well. I have yet to really get out and read out of my beloved fandom of E/S, TB/SVM. But this and other stories have caught my interest. I look forward to reading and reviewing. 🙂

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  3. This is an awesome Damon/Bella story, and Bertie Bott is an awesome writer as well as a good friend – I highly recommend her. 🙂

    As much as I hate that this subject had to be raised, I’m glad that word is getting spread about it.

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  4. I won’t rewrite the lengthy commentary that I left on Bertie Bott’s blog as my response to this idiotic reader’s opinion (and everyone is entitled to theirs, but not this time); let me just suffice it to say that I’m a survivor, I work with victims to assist them into becoming survivors, and I’m a former psychotherapist. One of the modalities I worked in was Forensic Psychiatry, in the Sex Offender Unit. Many of the responses left on Bertie’s site about this particular comment all mentioned rape, etc. While all the intentions are pure and none of us want this word thrown around so casually, I just want to remind you that rape has nothing to do with sex. It is about POWER. It is about CONTROL. It is a hate crime directed at women, men, and children of all ages. It happens in marriages and families. It happens in relationships and it happens between strangers. Most victims know their attackers. While people bandy this word about as casually as this reader did, 10 less victims reported the crimes against them or stopped meeting with their counselors. This is a serious word, a most serious matter, a heinous crime, and a lifelong violation. There was nothing in this story indicating a crime was occurring. The consequences of this one readers’ comment can have long lasting, negative affects on many women who read these stories for entertainment. Perhaps with all the responses in support of the story and the writer, readers will have a positive reaction and continue to support the story. Hopefully, this fool of reader will just keep her fingers quiet in shame for the fervor she started.

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  5. I have a feeling that the reviewer, well, actually, I have no idea whatsoever about what that reviewer’s intentions were. I was flabbergasted that someone would even THINK along those lines about my friend’s story. If they had read some, any, or all of the preceding chapters, they would have KNOWN that this fic couple, Damon and Bella, were not only in love with each other but that they respected each other and treated each other with nothing but affection and, yeah, respect.

    While I would love to speculate on what they hoped to achieve by tossing around the rape word, the fact remains that I have absolutely no clue what was really and truly going on in their mind. All I can say is that if they need help, then I hope they get it. If they need freedom, then I hope they get it.

    In the meantime, they did do the world one notable service: they got people talking. They instigated conversations where facts and information, support and intention were discussed, made available, and recommended.

    Silence breeds violence, and voice brings light.

    I’m sorry for your experience; sadly, many of us have had them.

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  6. I feel for you if you’ve had these experiences as well. Mine were a lifetime ago; I’ve survived and lived to help others survive.
    Getting people talking is vital to making steps in stopping the violence. I sincerely hope this reader was not just vying for attention; she got it regardless, but there seems to be something behind those words that rings…true? It’s my fervent hope that if this reader does indeed believe this fictional depiction to be what she believes is rape that she gets some help soon. I hate to think of someone so alone and in need not getting the help so desperately called for. We don’t report at our center. That’s left up to the survivor. We do encourage for the safety of others due to the escalating factors of this type of crime, but “no means no” is strictly adhered to, otherwise we can’t make folks feel safe or protected. If they do report the crime, we’re with them all the way; from the hospital to the statements to the trial and as long as they need us afterward. In some way, we owe this reader gratitude for starting the conversation.
    However, the conversation must include the proper words and as you said, facts, information, support, need to be continued and made available. Do you know where we can continue this discussion?

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  7. You’re also welcome to PM me on WP or my private email which I’m sure you see when emailing me! I’ve never looked around for a forum for this topic or discussion because I’ve been retired for 15 years now, and don’t participate as much at the center as I once did, but now I’m all fired up again! I’ll have plenty of time on my hands come September & going back to the center or participating on a forum would be a better way to spend it other than sitting on my ass getting fatter!

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Ahh, you found me. No clue why they stuck me ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, but see that "Comment" box? Have at it!

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