Odd things happen to me with interesting frequency, but I don’t usually share them because they’re either TOO odd, or would only be of interest to me.
So, yeah, anyway… I hate buying groceries, right? It’s boring, mundane, annoying, and that just applies to all the breathers involved. (For some reason little old men *ADORE* me and will follow me around the store trying to carry on conversations and patting my arm to a creep factor of +4…)
I am also a coupon whore – I’m more than willing to spread my shapely fingers for a good coupon. (Yeah, I know, a couponer who hates shopping…go figure…)
Relevant fact: In my area there is a grocery store that does a “double coupon up to .99 cents week” about once a month.
That’s ‘this’ week, so I got all happy going through my coupon box being all “this one, this one, not that one, well that fucker expired, this one” until I got my little pile of coupons ready. Then I got my
big little list made up, my li’l coupon pile gathered and paper-clipped…hopped in the go-mobile and arrived intact (always a good thing) at said store.
I piddled, salsa’d, and twirled my way around the store (hey, it beats stomping and glaring which is always Option #2…), tossed the lovely crap I’m buying into the appropriate cart (mine), and eventually voyaged onward to the
highway robbery lane check-out lane.
So I was standing there all innocent looking with my neatly-clipped coupon pile resting on the always-too-small check writing area, purse open in the top part of the cart, handy-dandy debit card all handy-dandy and shit… when this older woman tapped on my shoulder and “psst”ed at me – really, she did – she went “psst” and everything!
She: motioned me over to her (VERY nearby) cart full of bags from where she’d already paid
Me: I walked the two steps needed toward her with my purse closed up in my hand (yeah, like I’m gonna trust an old lady THAT much…) and I just KNEW I had a WTF look on my face. “What’s up?”
She: dug in her open purse till she brought up her wallet which she proceeded to open to reveal several coupons tucked in a slot where a credit card is supposed to go…she withdrew a coupon then leans over toward me to whisper conspiratorially, “I’ll sell you this $5-off store coupon for $1 if you want it.”
Me: with most likely an even bigger WTF look on my face, “Huh?”
She: “I’d be glad to give it to you but *insert something about son/daughter/something in-law/divorce something”
Me: (to myself: give the woman a dollar and maybe she’ll be all happy and go away…dig in purse…magic dollar appears…) “Ok, thank you! Here ya go!” <–fake but totally believable enthusiasm/gratitude.
(I may be a somewhat ill-tempered ass but I can be a NICE ass, dammit, especially to old ladies!)
She handed me the (surprisingly valid) store coupon, took her dollar, and left (hopefully happily).
I return to the miniature check-writing shelf to discover that the emotionless cashier had gotten through with all the grocery items and had started scanning the coupons. I plopped the coupon from the old lady down, and shrugged my shoulders.
“I dunno,” I said to her completely disinterested face, “but it can’t hurt to try.”
The coupon goes through (I checked the receipt in the car), I pay, and leave.
So, yeah, that happened.
Also, I’m working on the epilogue to Valentine’s Night.
And I still hate buying groceries.
Happy “spring”!! (Even though I think they lied.)